Silence reigned as Grace worked through her feelings. First there was the seven-year-old who cried for her father night after night until it was clear he never would return. There was the thirteen-year-old who cursed him for leaving her, for not acknowledging birthdays and special events. Finally there was the seventeen-year-old, struggling to reconcile the past with the gentle man before her, admitting his mistakes and wanting to do better. The decision was hers, keep the hurt and push him away or forgive him and try to repair the frayed bond between them. "But…it's in the past now, right?"
The blond man nodded and turned to face her. "Tomorrow is another day," he said.
"Is this a one-time thing or will I see you again?"
"I gave my phone number and address to one of the ladies in charge here," he said. "I spend a lot of time up at the logging camps but I'm usually home once or twice a month. Cell phones and pagers don't work too well up there. Towers can't get the feed into those remote areas. If you want to see me, just send word and I'll make sure either you can get to me or I will get to you. You're a senior this year, right?"
"I was," she said. "I'll be taking my GED test soon."
"Are you going to college?"
"I can't afford college even if one would let me in with my grades," she said.
"I suppose you know your old man never made it out of eleventh grade," he said. "Always thought my girl would go to college."
"So you want me to go college?"
"It's what you want that's important," he said. "What is it you want?"
"I don't know," she said. "Part of me wants to because I want to get a degree and make good money but another part doesn't want to spend four more years in school even if I could afford it."
"So if there was a way you could afford to go, would you?"
"Maybe. What do you want?" she asked.
"I want my daughter to be happy," he said. "If you want to go to college, we'll figure out a way to make it happen. I'll love you no matter what."
Carey found Grace sitting at the kitchen table, her notebook open.
"How did your visit go?"
"Hi." The teen looked up, smiling. "It was great," she said. "He stayed until visitation was over."
"I know. I saw you walk him to his car."
"He said he'd come back next month," Grace said.
"That's good," Carey said. "I'm glad you had a nice visit."
"I did. I was surprised to see him but he's great. He looks older but he's still Dad. I told him what I did to end up here and he was really understanding about it."
"And you're all right with seeing him again after all these years?" Carey asked. "You're not angry with him?"
Grace shrugged. "A little. I told him so but like he said, we can't change the past."
"This from a girl who threw a chair at a teacher because he told her she wasn't living up to her potential," Carey said, ruffling the short blonde hair as she passed. "I'm really glad you had a nice visit with your father."
"He said he's coming back next month."
"I know, you told me already." Carey smiled and opened the refrigerator. "It only takes a little effort on each side to repair that bond you two once had."
"He doesn't seem as tall as he did then."
"That's because you've grown since you saw him and he hasn't," Carey said, taking a can of soda out of the refrigerator.
Grace giggled. "Yes he has," she said, holding her arms out in front of her stomach.
"He is a big man," Carey said, opening her soda. "He's a lumberjack, right?"
"Right."
"Certainly looks the part." She took a Sip. "So you told him everything you did?"
Grace looked down. "Not everything," she admitted. "I told him the big thing I did and he didn't seem worried about the rest of it."
"Did you talk to him about what's going on with you and your mother?"
"No."
Carey leaned back in her chair. "Your father mentioned he and your mother had an acrimonious relationship after the divorce."
"If that means they hated each other's guts, yeah," Grace said.
"Your definition is pretty close. Did they fight in front of you?"
"If they were in the same house, they fought," Grace said. "Dad would tell you that it started the minute he came through the door but she'd be badmouthing him to me before he'd get home." She returned to the table. "How can two people who got married end up hating each other so much?"
"Unfortunately it happens," Carey said. "That's why it's so important to get to know the man you're with before you tie the knot and make babies."
“I'm not planning on getting married or having kids anytime soon,"
Grace said.
Carey silently watched as the young woman scribbled across a piece of paper, tore it out of her notebook, then started writing on a fresh sheet only to repeat the process seconds later. "Time for a break," she said, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a second can of soda. "What are you working on, anyway?"
"What else," Grace said. "Goal setting for PF."
Carey held out the can. "And I know how much you love setting goals. Let's go into the living room and talk about it, then you can come back and try again."
"Okay," Grace said, following her out of the kitchen.
Carey sat in her recliner and put the footrest up, then turned on the lamp next to her. It was one of her favorite times of the day, when she would relax in her chair and help Grace with homework or just listen to the teen sort out the complex issues of life. "So you need to set some goals. Here's the million-dollar question. What do you want your life to be, Grace?"
"I don't know," the teen said. "I know I want to own my own house and a nice car and money and all the things everyone else has."
"That's quite a bit," Carey said. "So start with the first one. A house. Why a house, why not a condo or rent an apartment?"
"Renting sucks," Grace said. "You pay all that money every month to someone else and you don't get anything for it."
"And with a mortgage you know that every month you're paying toward owning it outright," Carey said. "So one of your goals is to own your own house."
"I can't just put a simple answer down," Grace said. "Gage wants not only the goal but the means to get the goal."
"So think about what kind of house you want, where it would be, how much it would cost. Where you live makes a difference too. In Iroquois County, the tax rate is higher than up north in Seneca County."
"So if I buy in an area with a lower tax, it'll be cheaper for me to live," Grace said.
"It should, but keep in mind that there are other factors. If not, everyone would live in counties with lower tax brackets and turn the bigger ones into ghost towns. Let's take Seneca County. Many of the properties up there are on the lakes or up in the mountains, not near any supermarkets, schools, or even emergency services. I have a cottage on Lake Bragg and going to the store requires getting in the truck and driving around the lake if I want to use the little market in Packard. There's no grocery store on every other corner. If I want to go to a supermarket, that's a good hour drive."
"You could use up the savings just in gas," Grace said.
"Actually with planning the trips would be minimal, so there is a savings," Carey said.
"So you own a house?"
"It's a cottage," Carey said. "Want to see a picture?"
"Sure," Grace said enthusiastically, moving to the near end of the couch.
Carey opened the lamp-table drawer and pulled out a photo album. She found the right page and handed the album over.
"Big cabin," Grace said. "It's on the lake?"
Carey nodded. "North side. Biggest bass I've ever seen."
Grace flipped the page. "Is this your boat?"
"Yes. You can't see it in the picture but there's an outboard motor on the end. I built the fishing seats myself."