Kaoren had shifted Lira to meet with Alay and the Nuran, Serray, to enhance their sonic attack, and the lure group hastily whizzed as far out of the way as possible. Bombs and sonics and fortunately KOTIS could make the bombs explode rather than be thrown back, and then a wave of rock hurled from above, the full force of gravity on our side.
And then Kaoren was shouting. "Counterattack! Cover or distance!" even as he was thrusting Lira, Alay and Serray down into the grass behind the nearest tumble of rocks. The massive was fairly thoroughly damaged by then, most of its spines broken, tentacles severed. Only a handful of the spines were able to fire, and I can’t imagine what it would have been like if it had done that fully armed.
Each spine broke apart at the tip, then sprayed countless arm-length needles in every direction. Everyone on the ground had dived behind rocks, but all the Setari in the air had been able to do in the time was climb, gain as much distance as possible, and try to dodge what followed.
For the Setari with Combat Sight that was almost possible. For too many – for Zan – it was not.
No Setari died during this massive attack. But almost half of them were injured, and Zan was one of the worst, speared through the chest. Even those hiding behind rocks on the ground didn’t all escape, as the low-travelling spines hit with such force that they produced stony shrapnel. Fifty-seven of the passengers of the Isadore died, most in the crush at the exits, or in the tentacles just outside them. The danger of massives in deep-space isn’t going to go away, not so long as we continue to travel through it, and the days since then have been filled with discussion of how to deal with that. The suggestion which is carrying the most weight is using small conveys of more manoeuvrable ships, rather than ones as large and unwieldy as the Isadore.
My days have involved two main things: dealing with Lira’s nightmares, and visiting Zan. Despite the wave of adoring comment which followed, and the knowledge that they would not have been able to lift the ship without her enhancement, Lira never wants to go near combat again. She particularly has trouble seeing so many people she knows in medical – not just Zan, but Glade and Par as well. Par’s become a particular favourite of hers: his quiet consideration often defuses her temper, and since Lira hates it when anyone she cares about is sick, she’s spent the past week wracked with uncertainty and lack of sleep.
We’ve been haunting the medical section of the Setari building, a place I’d been avoiding lately since the greysuits still can’t resist scanning me at every opportunity. Tyrian just makes me more interesting to them. But I was there when she woke up, and had fun competing for bed-side space with half her squad. And Lara, the captain of Fourteenth.
Despite the real struggle Fourteenth had after being caught in the Ena during the post-blast storm, Lara’s as sleepy and relaxed as ever. He doesn’t say much to Zan when she wakes up, just checks on her, and then makes way for any other visitors. Zan’s very strange about him in return – she looks to see if he’s there, and almost seems to flinch at the sight of him. That worried me enough that I had to ask Kaoren what was going on, whether we needed to arrange for Lara to not bother her.
I don’t usually ask Kaoren to tell me the more private things he sees with Sight Sight, and on the rare occasions in the past when I’ve hinted that I’d appreciate some goss he’s quietly discouraged me. This time he laughed.
"Guilt," he said. "Namara is too hard on herself."
I had a perplexed moment, trying to work out what Zan had to be guilty about.
"Because Fourteenth was caught in the Ena-storm," Kaoren said. He half-closed his eyes, considering the situation. "Lara has had an extremely difficult few years, and while Namara knows on a logical level that she is not responsible for that, she still does not forgive herself for failing to do the impossible. She struggles to deal with him."
"Then why doesn’t Lara stay away from her?"
Kaoren just looked amused, giving me one of his fractional smiles, then left me to speculate.
23 - November
November 12
Tyrian
Tyrian arrived excitingly early, almost a full month ago. I do wonder if I triggered my own labour, since I was thoroughly sick of being pregnant by then. It at least came on very abruptly at lunchtime, without any hint for Kaoren’s Sights to pick up before he left for the day. Mip had shed his collar and I was trying to hook it out from under the couch, and was so frustrated by my inability to simply crouch down enough and look to see exactly where it was. In a bit of a temper, anyway, and then pain, and mess.
My discussions with Alay and Mara had led me to expect a slow build, and I had myself a little panic attack while, bizarrely, getting a mop and bucket and cleaning up the floor. I think I was trying to convince myself that it was a mistake, that I’d just had some kind of super-cramp, and I had to clean up just because.
I calmed down at the second contraction, even though it was quite soon, and went to stuff important things into the bag I’d been planning to pack, then sent a text to Kaoren, despite him being in the middle of a scouting mission at Telezon.
"Tyrian’s coming. I think it’s going to be quick. Going to get Nils and Zee to take me to medical."
Kaoren immediately opened a channel to me, but only said: "Heading back. Keep the link open."
Mori tells me that he stopped in the middle of the ruined street they were exploring, and just stood still for an exceptionally long time, then ordered them back to Pandora in such a curt tone that she thought some major disaster was underway. But he seemed to remember himself after they’d started flying back to Telezon’s platform, and said quietly: "Sorry, Cassandra’s in labour." Mori says it’s the first time she’s ever heard him apologise.
I’d gone on to tell Zee and Nils, who were at the guard quarters, and they came around immediately, and took me back to the mainland and were calm and amused and Zee stayed with me till Kaoren arrived, while Nils went and collected the kids and kept them distracted and entertained. I did have a baby-focused doctor, but also Ista Tremmar, who is my favourite of the Setari medics. Taren drugs handily kept me aware that pain was happening without obliging me to truly experience it, and even though my labour was barely more than three hours, Kaoren arrived in plenty of time to suffer through it with me.
Tyrian was a tiny newborn, and is still undersized for his age, but his lungs were fine and other than keeping us in overnight for observation, the medics consider us problem-free. He’s also not a touchstone, which gave me a great sense of relief. Today we took him back for baby’s first brain scan, and found he has the same power set as Kaoren, but with Ice instead of Light, though I knew after the first few days that he was Sighted. If I watch anything upsetting while holding him, he gets distressed, so I have to make sure only to read happy books while feeding him.
Overall I guess Tyrian would be considered a quiet baby, but he still poops and pees and cries enough to leave me feeling ragged most of the time. Fortunately Kaoren’s Sights effortlessly translate baby shrieking, so we can usually address the cause of the shrieking, except for the "shrieking because I want to" occasions. If I hadn’t fallen so instantly and utterly in love with the little screamer, I’d be wondering why I’d gotten myself into this.
He looks so much like Kaoren. But there’s just a little hint of me. I have a lot of trouble letting him out of my sight.