I had to laugh.
Aleyaisha straightened. 'Andra was worried that you didn't have anyone to talk to. So was Cerrelle. That's what Andra told me.'
'I didn't. I still don't... unless you're still interested. Just in talking,' I added hurriedly.
'I know.' She nodded. 'You find women easier to talk to, don't you?'
'They listen,' I pointed out. 'Most of them, anyway.'
'You've been fortunate. We do have some ruthless women here, just as in any culture. Worse, probably.' Aleyaisha dipped a chunk of the white meat in butter. 'They'd ...' She shook her head. 'Trust me ... you want to be careful.'
'How? I don't even know who they are.'
'If you're not sure, ask me. Or Andra.'
'I just might.' I paused. 'What about Cerrelle?'
'She's a lot like Andra. Direct but not a dominatrix. You like her, don't you?'
'Yes, but I don't know why.' I forced a shrug. 'There's something there, but I was hurting too much when I met her, and she reminded me ... well ... things got worse. Probably will stay worse.'
Aleyaisha nodded that she had heard what I said, and I ate some of the second portion of chicken, and then got up and refilled my mug with more Arleen. I also refilled Aleyaisha's beaker.
After the two administrators rose and slipped into the twilight, I looked directly into those brown eyes. 'Is my data screen censored ... restricted?'
'No. You can search for anything that any director of the Authority could, and it would come up. We don't censor what people take off the net.'
'In a way you do,' I countered. 'You have to have a certain ... knowledge ... to know what to ask.'
'That's true in any system. If you have the time, or persistence, you can find it here.'
Was it that I just wasn't persistent enough? Or that I wanted the solutions immediately? I didn't like either possibility. 'Everything I do is monitored, isn't it?'
'Mostly. Everyone is.'
'Everyone?' I took a mouthful of chicken and chewed, thinking. Given the minuscule size of nanites and their capabilities, such monitoring had to be easy enough. 'Who plays Supreme Being?'
'No one. Anyone with the ability could tap into anyone else's monitors, but they're designed so they also record who undertakes such taps. Repeated unauthorized tapping can lead to attitude adjustment. It's a consensus sort of thing.'
'I can't believe some people don't abuse that sort of power.'
'They do. They just don't do it again.' Her lips quirked. 'The systems know everything about everyone, and everyone knows that. Think about it.'
I did, and shivered.
'The only antisocial acts that aren't known immediately are those committed in isolated areas, and even traces of those will show up in the perpetrator's nanite support system. It's very hard to escape justice.'
'Living in a glass house with telescopes trained on it,' I murmured.
'Every house has telescopes trained on it. Adjusted people don't look; maladjusted people don't look for long.'
'Do what's right, or we'll make sure you do,' I suggested.
'We allow people to choose what is right, if they will. If they don't, they lose that choice. Do you have a better idea? Isn't that what Dzin is all about when you strip away the beautiful language?'
'The idea of what's right bothers me.'
'Here... it's simple enough. We don't like people who hurt other people or manipulate them. Don't hurt or manipulate others and you can do whatever you have the resources to do.'
'Humor me,' I asked, finding my voice turning skeptical. 'What is manipulation?'
'The use of psychological force, the implication of physical or administrative force to persuade another to commit actions against the well-being of another, including himself or herself.'
I nodded. 'Who defines well-being?'
'Who needs a definition, except someone who's intent on abusing the system?' she countered.
That did stop me. If you needed to define someone's well-being ...
'See what I mean?'
I saw, or saw well enough. 'Glass houses ... so no one throws stones.'
'There are always a few. Fewer here than in most places.'
I savored the Arleen, the Arleen and a friendly face. We talked for a long time.
54
When the windows of perception are cleansed, the individual sees the universe appear as it is.
The lower edge of the late-afternoon sun touched the split-stone ridge cap of the transients' quarters roof, and silvered light spilled across the slates for an instant. I blinked, and the silver flow had vanished, and the cool and not quite raw air of late fall gusted around the stones of the building and ruffled my damp hair.
Internal nanites or not, months of conditioning to the contrary, my body ached after Heck's swimming, exercise, and weight conditioning - followed by the strain of the black sessions in the pool. Symbolic analogue sessions, no less, where the blackness represented space or overspace, except that the impassive Ileck refused to speculate or explain beyond what he had already said, and I was left in the dark, literally and figuratively.
I took a deep breath and stepped inside the front foyer, turning to the left and heading down the corridor to my quarters. My door was ajar. Had I left it that way, rushing out that morning? I pushed it open.
A redheaded figure stood by the couch.
The smile crossed my lips unbidden, without thought.
'I hope you don't mind my waiting here,' said Cerrelle.
'After all, I did travel across half known space to check on you once.'
'I don't mind at all. I am surprised. I wasn't sure I'd ever hear from you again.'
'You almost didn't.' There wasn't any humor in the statement.
My smile faded. 'Have you eaten?'
'Not enough to spoil my appetite.'
'Would one of the lounges be all right? I can't eat much before Heck's sessions, and I'm starving.'
'From what I've seen, you probably are. You've put on more muscle. You don't look like a scrawny Dzin teacher any longer.'
Scrawny? I'd thought of myself as slender, but I'd done my exercises and conditioning work even in Hybra.
'You were scrawny,' Cerrelle reaffirmed as she started past me and toward the foyer.
I followed, closing the door behind us. Cerrelle walked quickly enough that my muscles twinged as I hurried to draw abreast of her. I appraised her solid figure, seeing a feminine muscularity I hadn't noted before. 'Did you do a stint as a trainer - like Ileck?'
'Not like Ileck. I was a patrol trainer.'
I did a quick mental search. Patrol ... entrusted with monitoring the Rykashan borders with lands populated by unmodified humans. 'In Lyncol or somewhere else?'
'Elena.'
I had to search for that, too, managing to discover it was in the northwest of Amnord and as far north as Lyncol, but even rockier. It was the largest Rykashan enclave geographically and bordered Dezret.
'Did you patrol or train or both?'
'You don't train until you've spent five years on the border.' Her voice was cool... very cool, and I fell silent as we neared the lounge - the larger one opposite the operations building, not the one overlooking the marsh.
Only three others were there - two men and a woman -and they sat at a circular table almost next to the entry arch. None of them looked at us past a casual glance. Because we both wore green - if of different shades?
Cerrelle called up some game meat whose odor I didn't recognize, and, of course, her lemon drink. I settled on spring rolls, a crispy lemon duck, and jasmine rice, with Arleen tea. We took the corner table, the most secluded of the dozen in the lounge, nearly twice the size of the marsh lounge.