Greywalker

Groaning, I got up and called Mara. Inside an hour, I was back in the Danzigers' kitchen.

I held on to a cup of coffee, but I wasn't drinking it. "I have to get a handle on this. I know I'm a lousy student, but bear with me. I agreed to help Cameron with his problem, but I'll have to get closer to the Grey to do it."

Mara started to say something and I waved her down. "And much as I don't like it, you were right. This isn't going away. I don't want to be a witch or a psychic or a Greywalker or anything else. I just want to do my job, but I can't seem to without help. Cameron is… well, he's not quite like the rest of us, and I'm going to have to deal with more like him. And this other investigation keeps turning up dead men. I've never dealt with this many recently deceased in my life. I'm at three now and the coincidence is bugging me. What's with the dead guys?"

Mara swallowed a bite of muffin. "I've been considering that. You're like a pebble in a pond, putting out Grey ripples, and all the fishes in that pond come swimming to see. That's part of the difficulties you've been having. They swarm around and frighten you. And perhaps a few of them are pushing you in some way you can't yet discern."

"You mean like that geas thing?"

"No. What I'm wondering, now that it's come up, is this. If a vampire, like Cameron, can have problems which need help solving, why not other creatures of the Grey? Some of them can't communicate well, and others may need help which cannot be easily found. And here you are. Perhaps the number of dead you are turning up is no coincidence at all, but a sign that you're dealing with something out of the ordinary. And as they're attracted to you, so are a lot of other Grey things."

I forced a laugh. "I hope not. The last thing I want is a client list from a horror novel."

"If they choose to come to you, how will you turn them away? And is it even fair to do so?"

I put the coffee cup down. "Don't start on the ethics. I'm already tied up about this as it is."

She shrugged, but she'd made her point.

I picked apart a muffin, scattering the bits around my plate.

Mara pushed hers aside. "I looked up a couple of simple tricks and I'm thinking they might help you out."

"Not more trips to the Grey today, please, Mara."

"No, no. These are truly simple. In a way, you already know one and the other's not any harder."

I sighed. "What've you got?"

She grinned, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You've learned to push the Grey back so it's just a bit of a flicker on the edges, right?"

I nodded.

"So, if you look sideways and concentrate on that Grey flicker you should be just seeing into the Grey. Sort of a filter."

"Hey… I think I did that, in a way, when I was looking for Cameron in his car."

"Then all you need do now is refine the technique. Don't look straight on, just peek out of the corner of your eye."

The first few times I tried it, the Grey just slipped around and disappeared, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly.

As I peered from the corner of my eye while the sensation of the Grey barrier raised the hair on my arms, a tiny slice of the world went cold silver. I could see white shapes squirreling along the floor and up the walls like vines, weaving glowing lattices through the house.

I gasped. "That's why nothing gets in here! That's why you weren't worried about Cameron. The house has a… a…"

Mara whooped. "Tender's Lace. It's a protective charm, just very large. Let's try the other. This time, you'll need to sort of grab the edge of the Grey and bend it round you."

"What? I thought you said I didn't need to go in there."

"You don't. You can do it from either side if you can catch the thing. That'll be the tricky part."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why would I want to?"

"Because, while the edge of the Grey is no barrier to you, it is to one of them. If you can bend a bit of the edge around you, it'll act as a shield. Not for very long, I suspect, but it should at least bounce things back from you, if they aren't too solid. Wouldn't have much of an effect on Cameron, but should keep a ghost back. You could try it with Albert."

"I'd rather take your word for it than invite Albert to cuddle up, if you don't mind."

"Why? Do you think he's angry at you?"

"I'd rather not find out today."

"Try the trick anyway. I can test it, if you prefer."

"I'm still not so sure…"

I felt around for the edge of the Grey, but since I was trying to grab it, naturally I couldn't. I could only find it as a rippling wall of here/ there. Every time I tried to catch it, it bulged away.

"It's not physical," Mara reminded me. "It's a mental trick. Just push it around."

I pushed. The cloud-mist in front of me curved, leaving a clear bubble between me and it. I moved my hands to grab it, not thinking. The Grey gleamed like glass in front of my hands and slid a bit, keeping the same distance as before. I stared at it and moved my hands apart.

The gleaming bit of Grey grew. It felt heavy, as if the Grey not-mist had developed weight and was pushing back on my hands. My finger-tips went white from the intense cold. I jerked my hands back and the Grey slumped back into its usual roiling storm-light.

I moved around and pushed on it again, feeling the deformation stiffen and grow heavy with cold. I pushed harder and popped through it, tumbling into the chill, instantly swamped in the cold, writhing haze. For an instant I was disoriented and afraid, but I caught my breath and a whiff of weird chemicals and pushed my way back out. Mara put out a hand, as if that would help.

She looked me over. "That almost worked. Try it again."

I shook her off. "No way. Not right now. It's wearing me out. I don't feel so good around this stuff, anyway. It smells bad, it's cold, and it gives me vertigo. There's no up and down in there."

"Is it really that appalling? I had no idea."

"The difference between theory and practice I guess."

She laughed. "Ha! Hoist on me own petard! Still you should try—"

"I'll practice, but not right now. Thanks for the tips, though"

"Glad to. Should help you keep the beasties at bay. And there will be more. You're making waves, remember."

"I do, but I have one question. Why do they seem to go away when I'm in my truck?"

"Do they? They never really go away, so if you're not seeing the Grey, it's because the truck's material acts as a filter. It's got no connection to the Grey. It keeps them out, but it also keeps you in."

"That's fine. I can't start thinking about monsters from the Grey descending on me, or I'll start screaming. Even if I can make myself believe in them."

"But Harper.»

I waved through her words. "I know, I know, but it's one thing to say you do and see one or two bits of proof and another to get your head around the whole, enormous thing. I'm trying to keep my balance. I'm not used to this brand of open-mindedness. I'm a cynic by nature and training and likely to stay that way."

Mara heaved a sigh. "I know. But so long as you're fighting it, the Grey will be a minefield for you. Be careful. Learn to accept it."

"I'm working on it, Mara. I am."

I wished I didn't have to.

I was just ahead of rush hour all the way to Bellevue.

Nothing seemed to have changed at Sarah's house. The motorcycle parts still reposed outside, the lawn still played dead. Sarah answered my knock before I finished. I almost rapped on her forehead. She didn't seem to notice. She was grinning.