I sat back, tired out by my own annoyance and underlying fear.
"I am scared," he muttered. "I'm scared of everything. Daylight. People. Myself. I'm afraid that I'll hurt someone. What if I attack my sister or my mother? What if I flip out and kill someone? I don't need to kill for food, but what if I do it by accident? All my friends come down to the Square, you know. What if someone figures me out and… and… I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be a monster!"
Who does? I sighed. "Oh, for the gods' sweet sakes. You're not a monster. You didn't harm the Danzigers, did you?"
"No, but they knew and they were prepared. They had… magic and stuff."
"So do you, if what the Danzigers said is true. You are a creature of magic, a denizen of the Grey. This is going to be hard," I added, shaking my head.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not good with this ghosts-and-magic stuff, so I can only do things in the way I already know, and that's the ordinary human way. Investigation and legwork and shuffling papers. If that doesn't work, I don't know what we'll have to do, but I hope it won't get us killed."
"It has to work… I know you can make it work. You just have to."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Luckily, it seems that Edward used a condo that belongs to TPM to house Sarah. I'm already trying to track down his connection to TPM. You wouldn't happen to know his last name?"
"Edward's? I don't know if I ever heard it. But TPM… Wow. They're pretty heavy."
"Yes, they are. And here's a funny coincidence for you. In addition to the condo building, they also own several clubs in Seattle, including two in Pioneer Square."
"They do?" Cameron leaned forward. "Which ones?"
"The After Dark, which I've never heard of, and Dominic's, which happens to employ the bouncer who confirmed that you were in Pioneer Square just last night."
"Jesus H—I thought Edward owned Dominic's. But if he's connected to TPM…"
"Edward can't be the principal of Dominic's. Steve the bouncer told me he'd never heard of Edward."
"He's lying. Maybe he never heard his first name—that's a possibility— but he sure knows him on sight. TPM. That might explain why so many people kowtow to Edward, though. And he seems to be a very important guy among the vampires. Lots of bootlicking there, too. He said I was out and by the next night I might as well have been the invisible man."
"So you don't know what his connection is to TPM? Or exactly what his position is relative to the vampire community?" I clarified.
"No, I don't, but I'd guess if he's not the top dog, he's very close to him."
"Oh, terrific. I've just agreed to take on Seattle's top bloodsucker. Thanks, Cameron. I always did like to live dangerously."
"Well, I didn't say it was going to be a normal job."
Chapter 19
At seven a.m. Wednesday morning, I rolled out of bed to stagger around the water tower. It was the worst I'd felt in a week, but I was doing much better at keeping the Grey at bay—at least when there were no ghosts or witches or vampires around. It was an ever-present thin mist dodging around the edges of my vision now, throwing occasional ghost-shapes over the landscape ahead. The constant flickering at the corners of my eyes left me a little dizzy.
When I stumbled home, I called Colleen Shadley to say I'd found Cameron.
Silence sat on the line a while before she asked, "Under what circumstances?"
"Living in his car down in Pioneer Square." "Why? That's not like him." "He had a personal problem and he panicked." "Ridiculous. Why didn't he call me? I certainly could have taken care of it."
"He was scared but wanted to take care of the problem himself. He got in a little over his head. I've agreed to help him deal with it," I explained. "He should be calling you soon. If you don't hear from him, please let me know."
"It must be drugs," she stated. "It's the only way I can account for this behavior."
That sounded familiar. "This has nothing to do with drugs. He's just young and his situation was more complicated than he realized."
"What is this situation you keep talking about?" she demanded.
"Cameron wanted to discuss it with you himself." I was biting my tongue pretty hard as my temper rose. Sarah's view of her mother snapped into focus.
"I paid for this investigation. You have a contractual obligation to tell me."
The temperature of my voice hovered near freezing. "No, Colleen. The contract gives me discretion on matters not directly bearing on the job, and I'm exercising that clause. You paid for me to find your son, not to spy on him. If he doesn't call you within twenty-four hours, then I'll be glad to discuss whatever you want. But your son asked for some time to straighten out a few things and I'm giving him that courtesy."
"Will I be billed for this 'courtesy'?"
"No."
"I'll call you as soon as I hear from Cameron. Or not." She cracked the phone into the cradle as she hung up.
I slithered out of my sweats and running shoes and flopped back into bed. I felt like a Chihuahua in a wind tunnel. Flat on my back, eyes closed… I was more tired than I should have been, but the constant wearing nausea was gone. I couldn't see the Grey. I was aware of it, but it wasn't immediate. Without the flickering, the treacherous false ground, the heaving, unstill world on top of the world, only fatigue remained. It was the Grey that left me queasy and worn, the uneven, sporadic view, the constant expenditure of energy to figure out what was real and hold back the rest.
Groaning, I got up and called Mara. Inside an hour, I was back in the Danzigers' kitchen.
I held on to a cup of coffee, but I wasn't drinking it. "I have to get a handle on this. I know I'm a lousy student, but bear with me. I agreed to help Cameron with his problem, but I'll have to get closer to the Grey to do it."
Mara started to say something and I waved her down. "And much as I don't like it, you were right. This isn't going away. I don't want to be a witch or a psychic or a Greywalker or anything else. I just want to do my job, but I can't seem to without help. Cameron is… well, he's not quite like the rest of us, and I'm going to have to deal with more like him. And this other investigation keeps turning up dead men. I've never dealt with this many recently deceased in my life. I'm at three now and the coincidence is bugging me. What's with the dead guys?"
Mara swallowed a bite of muffin. "I've been considering that. You're like a pebble in a pond, putting out Grey ripples, and all the fishes in that pond come swimming to see. That's part of the difficulties you've been having. They swarm around and frighten you. And perhaps a few of them are pushing you in some way you can't yet discern."
"You mean like that geas thing?"
"No. What I'm wondering, now that it's come up, is this. If a vampire, like Cameron, can have problems which need help solving, why not other creatures of the Grey? Some of them can't communicate well, and others may need help which cannot be easily found. And here you are. Perhaps the number of dead you are turning up is no coincidence at all, but a sign that you're dealing with something out of the ordinary. And as they're attracted to you, so are a lot of other Grey things."
I forced a laugh. "I hope not. The last thing I want is a client list from a horror novel."
"If they choose to come to you, how will you turn them away? And is it even fair to do so?"