Perhaps you infer from this that I am evil, or partly so. All right, want to make something of it? Whatever / am, I knew Mrs. Grew was evil before we ever left the Tri-corn...when Poddy (and even Girdie!) thought the slob was just too darling for words.
I don't trust a person who laughs when there is nothing to laugh about. Or is good-natured no matter what happens. If it's that perfect, it's an act, a phony. So I watched her...and cheating at solitaire wasn't the only giveaway.
So between the bush and Mrs. Grew, I chose the bush, both for me and my sister.
Unless the air car was there and we could swipe it. This would be a mixed blessing, as it would mean two of them to cope with, them armed and us not. (I don't count a bomb as an arm, you can't point it at a person's head.)
Before I woke Poddy I took care of that alate pseudo-simian, that "fairy." Vicious little beast. I didn't have a gun. But I didn't really want one at that point; they understand about guns and are hard to hit, they'll dive on you at once.
Instead I had shoe trees in my spare shoes, elastic bands around my spare clothes, and more elastic bands in my pockets, and several two-centimeter steel ball bearings.
Shift two wing nuts, and the long parts of the shoe trees become a steel fork. Add elastic bands and you have a sling shot. And don't laugh at a slingshot; many a sand rat has kept himself fed with only a sling shot. They are silent and you usually get your ammo back.
I aimed almost three times as high as I would at home, to allow for the local gravity, and got it right on the sternum, knocked it off its perch-crushed the skull with my heel and gave it an extra twist for the nasty bite on Poddy's arm. The young one started to whine, so I pushed the carcass over in the corner, somewhat out of sight, and put the cub on it. It shut up. I took care of all this before I woke Poddy because I knew she had sentimental fancies about these "fairies" and I didn't want her jittering and maybe grabbing my elbow. As it was-clean and fast.
She was still snoring, so I slipped off my shoes and made a fast reconnoiter.
Not so good -- Our local witch was already up and reaching for her broom; in a few minutes she would be unlocking Jojo if she hadn't already. I didn't have a chance to see if the sky car was outside; I did well not to get caught. I hurried back and woke Poddy.
"Pod!" I.whispered. "You awake?"
"Yes."
"Wide awake? You've got to do your act, right now. Make it loud and make it good."
"Check."
"Help me up on the perch. Can your sore arm take il?"
She nodded, slid quickly off the bed and took position •t the door, hands ready. I grabbed her hands, bounced to her shoulders, steadied, and she grabbed my calves as I let go her hands-and then I was up on the perch, over ihe door. I waved her on.
Poddy went running out the door, screaming, "Mrs. Grew! MRS. GREW! Help, help! My brother!" She did make it good.
And came running back in almost at once with Mrs. (ircw puffing after her.
I landed on Gruesome's shoulders, knocking her to the floor and knocking her gun out of her hand. I twisted and snapped her neck before she could catch her breath.
Pod was right on the ball, I have to give her credit. She had that gun before it stopped sliding. Then she held it, looking dazed.
I took it carefully from her. "Grab your purse. We go, right now! Stick close behind me."
Jojo was loose, I had cut it too fine. He was in the living room, looking, I guess, to see what the noise was about. I shot him.
Then I looked for the air car while keeping the gun ready for the driver. No sign of either one-and I didn't know whether to groan or cheer. I was all keyed up to shoot him but maybe he would have shot me first. But a car would have been mighty welcome compared with heading into the bush.
I almost changed my plan at that point and maybe I should have. Kept together, I mean, and headed straight north for the ring road.
It was the gun that decided me. Poddy could protect herself with it-and I would just be darn careful what I stepped on or in. I handed it to her and told her to move slowly and carefully until there was more light-but get going!
She was wobbling the gun around. "But, Brother, I've never shot anybody!"
"Well, you can if you have to."
"I guess so."
"Nothing to it. Just point it at 'em and press the button. Better use both hands. And don't shoot unless you really need to."
"All right."
I smacked her behind. "Now get going. See you later."
And I got going. I looked behind once, but she was already vanished in the smog. I put a little distance between me and the house, just in case, then concentrated on approximating course west.
And I got lost. That's all. I needed that tracker but I had figured I could get along without it and Pod had to have it. I got hopelessly lost. There wasn't breeze enough for me to tell anything by wetting my finger and that polarized light trick for finding the Sun is harder than you would think. Hours after I should have reached the ring road I was still skirting boggy places and open water and trying to keep from being somebody's lunch.
And suddenly there was the most dazzling light possible and I went down flat and stayed there with my eyes buried in my arm and started to count.
I wasn't hurt at all. The blast wave covered me with mud and the noise was pretty rough but I was well outside the real trouble. Maybe half an hour later I was picked up by a cop car.
Certainly, I should have disarmed that bomb. I had intended to, if everything went well; it was just meant to be a "Samson in the Temple" stunt if things turned out dry. A last resort.
Maybe I should have stopped to disarm it as soon as I broke old Gruesome's neck-and maybe Jojo would have caught both of us if I had and him still with a happy-dust hangover. Anyhow I didn't and then I was very busy shooting Jojo and deciding what to do and telling Poddy how to use that gun and getting her started. I didn't think •bout the bomb until I was several hundred meters from I he house-and I certainly didn't want to go back then, even if I could have found it again in the smog, which is doubtful.
But apparently Poddy did just that. Went back to the house, I mean. She was found later that day, about a kilometer from the house, outside the circle of total de-Mruction-but caught by the blast.
With a live baby fairy in her arms-her body had protected it; it doesn't appear to have been hurt at all.
That's why I think she went back to the house. I don't know that this baby fairy is the one she called "Ariel." It might have been one that she picked up in the bush.
But that doesn't seem at all likely; a wild one would have clawed her and its parents would have torn her to pieces.
I think she intended to save that baby fairy all along and decided not to mention it to me. It is just the kind of sentimental stunt that Poddy would do. She knew I was going to have to kill the adult-and she never said a word against that; Pod could always be sensible wheni absolutely necessary.
Then in the excitement of breaking out she forgot to I grab it, just as I forgot to disarm the bomb after we no I longer needed it. So she went back for it.
And lost the inertial tracker, somehow. At least it; wasn't found on her or near her. Between the gun and her purse and the baby fairy and the tracker she must have dropped it in a bog. Must be, because she had plenty of time to go back and still get far away from the house. She should have been ten kilometers away by then, so she must have lost the tracker fairly soon and walked in a circle.
I told Uncle Tom all about it and was ready to tell the Corporation people, Mr. Cunha and so forth, and take my medicine. But Uncle told me to keep my mouth shut. He agreed that I had fubbed it, mighty dry indeed-but so had he-and so had everybody. He was gentle with me. I wish he had hit me.