"So let's see them," Brianna goaded with a smile of her own. "C'mon... you show me yours, I'll show you mine."
Charisma imagined and discarded several retorts before deciding to say, "Oh... you sweet talker you. Show me what you've got."
Brianna answered by reopening her album and Charisma did the same. Then they stopped and blinked at the pages that were facing them. Similar pictures this time, but noticeably different as well. They stood in front of Trevi Fountain. In Brianna's they were facing the camera, arms wrapped tightly around one another as they were caught in a moment of laughter after having thrown their coins into the fountain.
Charisma's however....
"I don't remember that being taken," Brianna said softly, keeping her eyes on the page. Charisma glanced at the page, then focused her eyes on the far wall, hoping it would give her the answers she needed. Brianna's voice didn't sound accusing, but it did sound a little lost. Charisma took a deep breath, then started to speak.
"I'm not quite sure when that was taken. You remember the lovely little girl that offered to take our pictures - we gave her our cameras," seeing Brianna's nod out of the corner of her eye. "I *think* she took a picture using my camera first, because I'm almost positive that was just before we turned to throw our coins over our shoulders."
"Did you have two pictures in front of the fountain?"
Charisma shook her head. "No... just the one." She took another deep breath. "I've always felt like it was trying to tell me something, but...." She shrugged. "I don't know." Finally she turned and looked at Brianna whose focus was still on the photograph in front of the fountain.
"Do you think I could have a copy of this?"
"Sure... absolutely - as long as I can have a copy of yours as well." Charisma paused. "That was such a magical night, you know? Everything about that trip was wonderful, but if I close my eyes, I can still hear the hawkers and smell the garlic and taste the gelato... well, not all at once of course," grinning at the mental picture she'd painted. "But I remember so clearly the rushing sound of the water; the lights and the shadows they cast; your smile; our laughter...." Charisma sucked in a breath as truth dawned and recognition bloomed in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Charisma?"
"Why didn't you tell me that you loved me?"
"I...."
"Don't!!" fierce and commanding. "Don't play semantics with me about this. You know what I mean. Why didn't you tell me that you were in love with me??" She didn't even give Brianna the chance to respond; Charisma shot off the sofa and crossed to the dark fireplace, absently wishing for flames to gaze into. "Why didn't I see it? I mean..." flinging her arm in the direction of the albums, "it seems so obvious. How did I miss this??" Charisma turned back to the empty grate, keeping her eyes fastened there as though they would give her the answers she sought. When she heard movement behind her, Charisma's head shot up, and she glared balefully at Brianna.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I was...."
"I'd think very carefully about my answer if I was you." A beat. "You were running way from me again, weren't you?"
"I was just going to give you...."
"This was why you left me before, wasn't it?" Charisma broke in again, running her hand through her hair in agitation. She pinned Brianna with her eyes, and Brianna willingly held Charisma's gaze. "You promised you'd be honest with me - that you'd tell me why you left me that day in Barcelona if I asked the right question," waiting for Brianna to nod. "Did you walk away from me because you loved me?"
Brianna took a deep breath, but never dropped her eyes from Charisma's. "Yes," she replied steadily.
Chapter LXIX
To say the expression on Charisma's face was flummoxed would be an understatement of massive proportions, but to her credit, she held Brianna's eyes while a myriad of emotions swirled in her eyes. Finally, they slowed, though Brianna couldn't rightly read what was left when Charisma took a deep breath before consciously relaxing her shoulders.
"Okay," she said after a long moment of silence, accepting Brianna's confession as the truth it was. "Where do we go from here?"
"Where do you want to go, Charisma? The ball's in your court."
"How do you figure?"
"You know now why I left twenty years ago, and like it or not, it's going to change the way you see me and how you interact with me... if it hasn't already. Do I make you uncomfortable now? Does it bother you to be in the same room with me?"
Charisma studied Brianna for a few minutes, and Brianna kept her eyes focused on Charisma's. If she was going to be judged for who she was, Brianna was going to make damn sure every measure counted. It was hard to hear anything over the thudding of her heart, however, and she almost missed Charisma's response.
"No."
Brianna blinked when she realized that Charisma mouth had moved and sound had issued forth from it. "Excuse me?"
Charisma smiled gently, understanding all too well exactly just how off-balance Brianna felt at the moment. "No... you don't make me uncomfortable and it doesn't bother me to share space with you. I would never have guessed... obviously - I didn't get it for the better part of twenty years, and only then when I was hit in the face with it... so to speak. I'm not sure I get the appeal - after all, you know me better than anyone in the world... or you did then. I'm not sure why you'd want to be with someone like me."
"You're kidding, right?" almost a flat statement.
"Um... no?"
Brianna snorted and shook her head. "Remind me some day, and we'll sit down and I'll explain it to you, all right?" watching Charisma nod slowly, trying to find understanding in Brianna's words. When Charisma's brow crinkled, Brianna continued. "Trust me, Charisma - it's a story best left to another day. When you have a chance to sit down and think about all this, you're going to have questions. And frankly I'd rather not have to go through this over and over and over again as you think of new things to ask me."
"I do have one question I think I need to have answered now," Charisma said, deliberately moving to sit on the couch and patting the seat beside her.
Brianna sighed, having a very good idea what was coming. Still, she took a seat next to Charisma - not too close, but within reach. Charisma gave her a withering look and tugged her closer. "*You're* the one letting this change us, Brianna Brianna, and I won't let you do that... unless it makes you uncomfortable that I know the truth."
"But you still want to know if I still love you, don't you? Even if I'm uncomfortable."
Charisma's eyes widened as her brows slid upwards. "Um... while I would actually like to know that, to tell you the honest truth - it wasn't the question I was going to ask."
"Oh... um...."
"Brianna - it's just you and me here. And like you said, we're going to have to figure out a time and a place to talk about all this. There's a lot that I need to understand and a lot you probably need to share. I'd like to know what the family thinks and what Mama said to you and of course, we still have twenty years of life and memories to catch up on. That being said - what I'd really need to know is why you ran away... why you were running away from me again."
Brianna took a deep breath. Nothing like starting with the tough stuff, she thought wryly. Then she looked at Charisma squarely, figuring brutal honesty was her best bet. Charisma would appreciate the truthful part, if not the manner in which it was delivered.
"I knew the first time... when I figured out that what I felt for you went beyond friendship... I knew that if I put you in the position of having to choose, I wouldn't be the one to get chosen. You couldn't have chosen me then even if you'd felt as I did - too much of your career depends on your image - and I knew in no uncertain terms that you didn't love me the way I loved you. You told me as much point blank." She held up her hands when Charisma opened her mouth. "Please, Charisma - let me finish. This is hard enough for me."