"We'll deal with it when the time comes."
"Fair enough," Okasa agreed. "What about the letters?" she asked after a brief delay.
Brianna shook her head so vehemently, Okasa could hear the motion through the phone. "No. I'm out far enough on this limb without exposing myself completely. *If* the fact that I have loved her for twenty years despite everything doesn't drive her away and *if* when she gets through with her soul searching she and I are still able to remain friends, then perhaps I will share them with her. But until then? No... I don't think so."
"But they're hers!"
"Technically, they're mine. You gave them back to me before she ever saw them. She doesn't even know they exist."
"Well, that's not *entirely* true," Okasa admitted slowly, bracing herself for the blowup she knew was coming when her words computed in Brianna's mind. It only took a second.
"Excuse me?" the words cold and deadly.
Okasa flinched, but soldiered on, knowing she had to prepare Brianna for what was most likely headed her way sooner or later. "She called me last night, ostensibly to check on Adam, but I could tell something had happened. Her voice was rough... like she'd been crying and she seemed.... I'm not sure how to describe it - confused, but resolute. She wouldn't share anything with me - said there was nothing for me to concern myself over."
"Um hmm... so how does that translate into her knowing about the letters, Okasa?"
"I'm getting to that," Okasa replied plaintively, knowing she was in the wrong, but hoping for absolution anyway. "She had mentioned that you two were going to go to that party together, so I naturally asked how it had gone."
"And?"
"I'm getting there." Okasa sighed. "She said that you two had been catching up." She sighed again and fell silent, hoping Brianna would connect the dots and spare her the need to spell it out.
"Okasa, I think I've been pretty patient here, but you're pushing my limits."
"I'm sorry, Brianna... I really am," Okasa rushed ahead. "I thought when Charisma mentioned catching up, she meant from the beginning... from when you left. I assumed that you let her read... I asked what she thought of them. That's all I said."
"Until she asked what 'them' you were talking about."
"Yes. I thought...." Brianna pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger and blew out a deep breath, cutting Okasa off mid-stream. "I'm really sorry, Brianna. I would've never...."
"I know, Okasa. Nothing I can do about it now except deal with the fallout."
"Bri...."
"I've got to go, Okasa. I'll call you later." Without another word, Brianna hung up the phone and turned it off. Then she moved over to the window where she could just make out the lights of several different memorials. It was amazing how quickly a hand basket went to hell once it started down the slippery, steep slope.
At least it would all be over with quickly - despite Charisma's assurances, Brianna didn't expect to come out of this unscathed. It was just a matter of time.
************
When Charisma had first called Brianna - the Monday morning after Brianna's confession - she'd already gone to her office and was up to her eyeballs in paperwork. And since she never turned her cell phone back on, she never realized Charisma had called until much later in the day. When Brianna had returned the call, Charisma had already left DC to return to Okasa's to check on Adam and meet with more of her supporters in several different districts. So Brianna left a message and she and Charisma began a game of phone tag.
Charisma tried to reach Brianna again, only to reach Brianna's answering service, discovering that Brianna had left Washington and was meeting with the Governor, and from there had meetings with constituents in a few of her districts.
And back and forth they went for the better part of a week - trying to reach each other, but only making the most minimal effort possible. It was easy to blame it on work - they were busy. But both knew that what needed to be said between them needed to be said face to face, so it was easy to make their phone calls brief and impersonal and still keep in touch.
As Esmeralda had predicted, both Charisma and Brianna called their office staff back to work briefly, though much of their work was done more informally than was considered normal. Since they still technically had three more weeks of holiday before the new session resumed, it was mostly going through the mail that had accumulated. Still, it took several days to catch up, and so it was more than a week later before they actually found one another sharing personal space again.
It could have been awkward, those first few minutes together again - would have been... had it not been for the fact that they were both too exhausted to make a big deal of things. Instead, they settled in like the old friends they were - at least to begin with.
************
"Rough week?" Charisma asked as they literally ran into one another in the hall outside their offices. They'd bounced off each other and landed on opposite sides against the walls, and her question made Brianna snort. That in turn made Charisma chuckle. Then Brianna laughed, and soon the two of them couldn't stop - every time they thought they had it under control, one would look at the other and it would start all over again.
The sound brought their respective staffs to the doorways of their offices, and they exchanged looks before turning around and heading back to their work. That just made Charisma and Brianna laugh harder. After a few minutes, however, and a bit of effort, they finally managed to bring themselves under some semblance of control, and Brianna took a deep breath.
"I needed that," she wheezed.
Charisma snorted, but managed not to start laughing again. "So did I evidently," she said as she blew out a breath. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine. You?"
"I'm good. Sorry about running you over, though. I didn't even see you...."
Brianna narrowed her eyes. "I *know* you weren't about to make a short joke."
"I can't," Charisma deadpanned. "I'm pretty sure you didn't see me either, and I'm not short," sticking out her tongue just slightly. Brianna glared.
"I know where you live and you have to sleep sometime."
Charisma burst into laughter again, only this time it wasn't the out-of-control giggles she'd had before. "You're priceless, Brianna Brianna. Don't you ever go changing on me."
Brianna tilted her head, the conversation suddenly taking an unexpectedly serious turn. "You really mean that?"
Charisma sighed roughly. "I do." She hesitated. "At least I think I do... I mean, I'd like to. But I'd like to know more about you... about who you are and how you got to be the woman you are today. And I'd like to share the same with you - let you know who I am now and what's happened in my life to make me the Charisma Tagherty that is standing in front of you."
"Are you really so different, Charisma? Are you that different from the woman I knew?"
"I think I am, Brianna. A lot has happened in the last twenty years... for better or worse. And for better or worse, it's changed me."
"Maybe in some things, Charisma - I know I've changed... obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here now doing this job in this place. But fundamentally, I am still the same woman you knew in school... just a little less idealistic. And that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's just part of growing up."
"I suppose," Charisma agreed thoughtfully. "I never thought growing up would be what it was."
"I don't think any of us did," Brianna shrugged. "But it is what it is. You do what you can with what you're given and make the best of it. That's just life."
"And if things are taken away instead?"
"You deal with that too."
"I want to read those letters you wrote," Charisma announced abruptly. "I know I probably shouldn't have a right to them after all this time, but the truth is, I would really like to know what they say... especially since they are addressed to me."