"Long. I just wanted to see how you were doing."
Charisma teared up, but refused to let them fall. She shook her head. "Ask me again when I've had more than an hour of sleep."
Kent nodded. "I'll let you get back to it then. I'm sorry this happened, Charisma. They seemed like such a lovely couple."
"They were. All I can think about is how Es is going to get through this. What I would do if...." Charisma broke off, realizing what she was saying and to whom she was saying it. "I'm sorry, Kent. I shouldn't... I mean I...."
He gave her a wry smile. "Why? Charisma, I knew the truth before you did, remember? Maybe you should take this as a sign... maybe you both should. We only have this day... this moment... this breath - what gives us the right to waste it as though we were entitled to the next one?"
Charisma took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "You would have been a great lawyer, Kent. Maybe I should have you plead my case to Brianna," closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. The action caused her to miss the speculative gleam in Kent's eyes.
"Maybe you should go back to sleep for a little while. Government business will wait a few more hours. Do you know if any arrangements have been made?"
Charisma shook her head and snuggled further into the covers. "Ruby promised to call when she knew something."
"All right. Go back to sleep. I'll be downstairs with your parents when you get up, okay?" She nodded, her breathing deepening. He brushed a light kiss over her hair and stood up. "Goodnight, Charisma," he offered, then he slipped out the door and closed it silently behind him.
XC
It was close to noon when Brianna stumbled from her bedroom in search of Kay and food. Fortunately, she found them together in the kitchen and she smiled at the happy memories the scents wafting through the small room brought to her mind.
"Is that really...?"
"Yes," Kay said without turning from her task at the stove. "And we need to seriously discuss your food situation here, Bri. Fig Newtons, milk and wilted celery - are you kidding me?"
Brianna laughed and Kay shifted just enough to give her the stink eye. Brianna held up her hands in surrender and tried to get her emotions under control. "I'm sorry, Kay, but you sounded just like Okasa then... all 'Mama Bear'."
Kay raised an eyebrow. "That would probably be the 'Mama Bear' personality that I've been working on since Michelle was born. How'm I doing?"
"I'd say you were well on your way to becoming a professional. A little more practice and you could be an All-American." Brianna smiled at Kay's rolled eyes. "Thank you for coming down, by the way," she added seriously. "You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did."
"When I got your call last night, I wanted to be here for you and for Esmeralda if I could. Lee and I talked about it and we decided it was the right thing to do. My secretary isn't particularly thrilled, but when has she ever been?" asked with a knowing smirk that caused Brianna to shake her head.
"I can't believe Roscoe hasn't left you for greener pastures," Brianna commented as she moved to set the table.
"You calling her Roscoe always used to drive Lisa crazy, you know," Kay commented with a huff.
"Of course... that's why I did it," filling two glasses with ice and water. She put them on the table, then moved out if the way for Kay to set the hot skillet between them. Then they took their seats and began serving themselves.
"How are you?" Kay finally asked when the first of their hunger was sated. "You look more rested, but.... What's bothering you, Bri? I get that you're upset about a dear friend dying... that's perfectly natural, after all. But this is something else... something beyond that." Brianna glared and Kay covered her hand. "This is your friend and ex-lover asking, Bri - not Dr. Williams."
"Kay, you will *always* be Dr. Williams - you can't help but. She's as much a part of you as Fontana is a part of me. But I understand what you mean and I appreciate the concern."
"Then talk to me, Bri. I want to help if I can."
Brianna sighed. This really wasn't something she wanted to get into with her ex-lover, but Kay was probably the only person in the world in a position to understand. "I don't think there's anything you can do, Kay. I just... I keep seeing the expression on Es' face... the deadness in her eyes... hearing the anguish in her voice." She took a deep, shuddering breath and let her green eyes meet Kay's brown ones, the tears shimmering. "I can't imagine, Kay - if something like that happened to Cha...." Brianna broke off and shook her head. She would have stood and walked away, but Kay's hand kept her in place. She kept her focus on the table and chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't even have the right to think that way."
"Why? Why don't you have the right to wonder, Bri? When death hits close to home like this, it causes us all to rethink and wonder - to put ourselves in Esmeralda's place." Kay waited a minute, and when Brianna didn't reply, she took a deep breath and resumed her line of thought aloud. "Brianna, even though you and Charisma have never consummated the love between you, it doesn't mean that you love her less. If anything, Esmeralda's loss simply highlights what you've never been allowed to share with her. It certainly doesn't change the fact that you've loved her for half your life."
"It doesn't change the fact that I walked away from her either." This time when Brianna tugged on her hand, Kay let her go, understanding the anxiety Brianna felt. She watched as Brianna walked out of the kitchen and moved to stand in front of the windows in the living room. Kay took her time cleaning up the kitchen, noting Brianna kept her attention on what was going on outside, though Kay would have bet good money Brianna's thoughts were much closer to home.
When the kitchen was spotless, Kay walked out of the tiny room, crossing to stand just behind Brianna without touching her. "It doesn't have to stay that way, Bri."
Brianna was quiet for so long Kay wondered if Brianna had even heard her speak. She opened her mouth to reiterate her words when Brianna's soft whisper cut her off. "I don't know, Kay." She swiped at her face and turned back to meet Kay's eyes. "I'm going to go check on Es. Would you like to come with me?"
"Yeah. You want to shower first?"
"Go ahead. I'm going to call Ruby and let her know we're coming - see if there's anything we can bring."
"All right. I won't be but a minute." Then Kay headed for the bathroom and Brianna walked to the phone to make her call.
************
"MAMA!!" Adam greeted Charisma when she stepped into the family room where they were all gathered. She set her coffee cup down quickly to catch him in her arms and hug him close - so close that Adam started to squirm. "Mama... too tight!" pushing to loosen her grip.
Charisma loosened her hold and kissed Adam. "Sorry, son." Adam rewrapped his arms around her Charisma's neck and kissed her.
"Love Mama... Mama good."
"I love you too, son. Did you go to school today?" watching him shake his head. Charisma turned and met Ame's eyes, then looked at Kent for an explanation.
"We decided to keep him home today since his grandparents were in town," Kent replied. "I thought maybe he and Paddy and I could go out for a little while this afternoon." Charisma just nodded.
"Has anyone heard anything?" seeing negative shakes from every other adult in the room. "All right. I'm going to call Ruby and see what I can find out. Mama, would you like to go with me if Ruby thinks we could check on Es?"
"Yes, absolutely." Charisma nodded.
"Okay... let me make my call and we can go."
"You need to eat something first," Okasa chided. "And don't stand there and even think about arguing with me. It won't take but a minute to make you up a plate from lunch."
"Fine," Charisma grumbled, knowing any debate would be met with more aggravation than she was in the mood to tolerate today. Okasa headed to the kitchen and Charisma set Adam down. He ran back to Ame, taking the controller from her and returning his attention to the learning game she'd put in for him to play.