"I doubt they saw you either, Charisma," Brianna offered with a smile. "After all, you were in the inner office working out of sight and sound of the rest. They were probably doing the same thing. I know I did. It's the best time of day to work and actually get things done - no schmoozing."
"And it's the only time of day to sit and chat with Es."
"This is true," Brianna agreed, then turned back to Ruby. "Is there anything we can do? Phone calls? Arrangements? A wake? Sitting with Es?"
"Oh Brianna - you don't know how much the offer means... all of it. But I wouldn't know who to call, and the arrangements won't take too long. The service is mostly so people can say their goodbyes to Saphira and speak to Es. As for a wake...."
"Let us do something, Ruby," Okasa piped in. "We would be honored if you'd let us take care of the wake."
"It's not that I don't appreciate the offer," Ruby replied slowly. "It's just that I'm not sure Esmeralda would attend."
"Ruby, if you'd like to have a wake, we'll get Esmeralda there and stand by her for as long as necessary," Charisma said. "But it's totally up to you; we're here to help... not to make things harder."
"I am grateful to all of you - you didn't have to be there last night and you certainly didn't have to come over here today. I can't ask you to stop your lives for this."
"What if we want to, Ruby? What if we choose to be here to support Es the only way we know how?"
"I won't say no," Ruby answered. "But I have to tell you not to expect much - I don't think she's said a dozen words to me since she woke up in the hospital earlier today."
"I don't think anyone here is expecting to exchange banter and dialogue, Ruby. It would be enough to be there for her... so she knows she's not alone," Kay said. "This is the hardest time to grieve - when it starts to set in that this is reality now. If we can make her burden easier to bear...."
Ruby smiled sadly. "Have you been through this yourself, Kay?" she asked. Kay shook her head and the sadness deepened. "Then you have some sort of training - a doctor or healer?" Kay nodded.
"I'm a psychiatrist."
"No offense, Doctor, but you have no idea what you're talking about. She is alone now - her mate is gone. There is no way to make that fact any easier to bear. That being said, I don't think there is any harm in keeping her company for a little while. Maybe she'll respond to one of you in a way she doesn't seem to be able to respond to me."
"How about if you go get some rest?" Brianna offered Ruby after an uneasy pause. "There are enough of us here to keep an eye on Es and answer the phone if it's needed. You need some sleep, and you've got friends here willing to help."
"Yes," Okasa said, jumping on the bandwagon. She stood and extended her hand. "C'mon. I'll make sure you get tucked in comfortably. Kay can go sit with Es for a little while and Brianna and Charisma will take care of notifying the people they need to contact. After that, we'll take turns keeping an eye on Es until you get back up again, all right?"
Ruby blinked. She was sure she should be arguing about this, but at the moment she was simply too tired to think clearly. Instead, she caught Okasa's hand in hers and let the other woman pull her to her feet. "I appreciate this," she admitted softly. "You don't know how much."
"I do," Okasa confessed. "Now let's get to it." She turned and looked at Kay. "I'll join you shortly. You two," motioning to Brianna and Charisma, "go into the living room to make your calls. No reason to disturb everyone with your talking. C'mon, Ruby - let's get you settled."
Brianna, Charisma and Kay watched them go then traded bemused smiles at the way they'd been maneuvered by Okasa. But without argument they split up to follow Okasa's directives. At least it was a positive contribution they could make while they waited.
Chapter XCI
Charisma and Brianna stepped into the living room and pulled the heavy door to without shutting it completely. Then they went to opposite corners to keep from disturbing one another as they began making their calls.
Brianna called Matilda first thing, wanting her to be the first to get the news. Then she called Indi followed by Jas, keeping the promise they had made to everyone at the hospital. When she was done with those three calls, she waited for Charisma to finish hers before she interrupted. Charisma simply cocked her head and waited and Brianna felt a bittersweet wave of memory wash over her.
"Brianna?" Charisma finally called softly when it appeared as though she wasn't going to speak. Brianna blinked and her focus sharpened as she returned to the present.
"What can I do for you, Charisma?"
"Well, that's what I was wondering actually. You seemed to want my attention, but then yours just kind of wandered off somewhere."
Brianna blushed slightly. "Oh... sorry. I was just trying to figure out whom to call next. I thought you might have a list of the Senators we needed to notify."
While Charisma believed Brianna was telling her the truth, she wasn't convinced it was the whole truth. Still, there were things to take care of before they could delve into anything else, so she merely nodded her head and looked at her phone.
"Do you have the numbers of the Senators on our floor in your phone?"
Brianna's eyes widened and she shook her head vehemently. "Are you kidding? I only have the numbers of those Senators that I deal with in committee and those only under duress. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not quite sure which Senators are *on* our floor."
Charisma laughed, and though it seemed a little out of place in the sepulcher quiet of the house, it didn't feel at all disrespectful. Instead, it was more of an emotional release, and they both knew that Es more than anyone would understand the need for that.
"Don't feel bad. I *do* know who is on our floor, but I've had years to learn. On the other hand, I don't have most of them programmed in to my phone either. So let me give Opal another call. She'll have to go to the house, but I do have a complete phone book there."
Charisma made her call, then it was just a matter of waiting for Opal to get to her home and call her back with the information they needed. The silence was a little bit awkward, so when Charisma cleared her throat, it caused Brianna's head to snap up. Charisma's blue eyes met Brianna's reticent green ones, holding them momentarily before she allowed hers to drop to her clasped hands.
"I read the letters you wrote," Charisma said softly. "I never thought... I never understood...."
Brianna shrugged, her discomfort acute. She moved to the window, feeling the cold of the glass as a welcome touch on her overheated skin. "Now you do," she finally replied when it became clear that Charisma was waiting for some sort of rejoinder from her.
"Now I do," Charisma conceded without hesitation. "If I had known - no, that's not fair. If I had been strong enough to acknowledge what I knew... or at least what I strongly suspected...." She sighed. "So much would be different, Bri." She saw Brianna's back stiffen in response, and Charisma bit her lips to keep the tears from spilling over onto her cheeks. Brianna never moved from her spot by the window, and Charisma took a deep breath. "I read your letters and they broke my heart, Bri - to know I was so close to having ev...." She broke off and shook her head. "And then to watch Es literally start to die in front of my eyes... knowing that Saphira's death is going to destroy her." Charisma paused, then decided she had nothing to lose by gambling everything. "All I've been able to think of is what if it had been you? What would I do if you were gone?"
Brianna sighed, her voice a bare whisper when she spoke. "You'd be all right, Charisma. You've lived without me before."
"But I was never happy, Bri, and I wouldn't want to - I don't want to ever again."
The ringing of Charisma's phone cut off the silence that dragged on with Brianna's lack of response. And by the time Charisma hung up, the moment was over and Brianna had reverted back to her polite, professional persona. It made Charisma want to cry; instead, she handed Brianna half the list and they set about making the necessary phone calls.