"I can't do this, Amber."
"Es, you don't have to do this alone. We're all gonna be here for you for as long as you need us. And when the time comes...." She shrugged and Esmeralda tilted her head back to look into Amber's golden eyes. Amber met Esmeralda's eyes seriously. "When the time comes, I promise to let you go," drawing a gasp from the Angels still stationed around the bed. Amber and Esmeralda didn't take any notice of the rest. "But until then, take the strength you need from us, all right? Let us help you get through this so we can go home knowing we did everything we could do."
Esmeralda studied Amber's eyes, then nodded her head. "I'll try, Amber. It's the best I can promise."
"I'll take it, Es. You've never broken a promise to me." Amber looked around the room. "Now, let us tell you about our morning, and then you can tell us what you said to Brianna and Charisma and why. After that...." She shrugged her shoulders.
Esmeralda looked around the room and frowned. "Who's watching them?"
"No one. This was more important."
For once, Esmeralda didn't argue. She simply nodded and closed her eyes as she leaned into Amber's shoulder. "So what happened this morning?"
Amber looked at Ruby, and she started telling their tale.
Chapter XCVII
Amber sat at the table, coffee cup lifted to her lips though she wasn't drinking. Instead, she was simply breathing in the scent as she let her mind wander over the events of the previous two days. The rest of the household was scattered about - some back to watching their charges; the others elsewhere in the house. So for the moment, she had the kitchen and the coffee to herself.
She let her thoughts slide by the announcement of Saphira's death and their subsequent encounter with Michael and focus on the talk with Esmeralda that came after.
Esmeralda had by turn, appeared distant, resigned, angry and depressed, but Amber felt somewhat confident that Esmeralda would at least make an effort to finish their assignment. She did have to question what Esmeralda's methods would be like, however. Given what she had done the day before, Amber figured pretty much everything was going to be fair game in an effort to get Charisma and Brianna to make whatever choice was necessary to wrap things up soon.
A hand on her shoulder startled her, and Amber hissed as hot coffee splattered her hand. She set the cup on the table forcefully, though not hard enough to allow spillage again. She turned baleful golden eyes at the intruder, then accepted the ice that Esmeralda handed her with a gracious nod.
"You all right?" Esmeralda asked with concern, though her voice was a bare whisper.
"Yeah. I was just thinking and you caught me by surprise." She cleared her throat. "How are you?"
Esmeralda shrugged. "Numb, I think. If I think about this too long, I'm gonna get angry, and that's not gonna do any of us any good at the moment." She shrugged again. "Maybe when this is all over...." She poured herself a cup of coffee despite Amber's scowl and took a seat at the table. "Let me see," she demanded, tugging lightly on Amber's injured hand.
Amber rolled her eyes, but released her hand to Esmeralda's tender care. She waited until she was done, then gave Esmeralda a droll smile. "Everything okay, doctor?"
Esmeralda cut her eyes at Amber, but couldn't stop the slight twitch of her lip. "I think you'll be all right, Amber, but you should probably be a little more aware. It's not like I was being particularly quiet." She took a deep breath. "What were you thinking about so hard anyway?"
Amber gave Esmeralda an unbelieving look, but when Esmeralda didn't look away, she shrugged. "I was thinking about all the angles."
Esmeralda cocked an eyebrow and Amber snickered at the familiar expression to keep the tears at bay. "The angles?"
"Yeah. Trying to see if there's something we've missed - because it's obvious that we're not getting all the information we should have." She looked down at her coffee, studying the steam as it rose. "None of us are, Es. Even Michael's not in the loop on everything."
"Maybe it's a test," Esmeralda offered with a vague hand motion.
"Maybe," Amber agreed after she'd finally taken a sip of her coffee. "But of what? And whom? And why?" She sighed. "I dunno, Es. Seems like a selfish thing to do." She shook her head and took another swallow from her mug before she dragged her eyes up to meet Esmeralda's. "Is there anything you'd like to do today? Or would you prefer to stay home and rest up for tomorrow?"
The sigh Esmeralda released was shaky, but her eyes were steady. "I would prefer any number of things that just aren't going to happen," she replied wearily. "But I think we will probably have visitors sooner or later." Amber's eyebrows climbed into her hairline, and Esmeralda snickered just the tiniest bit. "When I sent everyone home yesterday before you guys showed up, they said they'd be back today. I doubt they're going to wait too long to make good on that threat."
Amber's eyes widened. "Is that what you see it as... a threat?"
Esmeralda rolled her eyes. "It *was* a threat, Amber - no matter how politely worded it was." She lifted her mug to her lips and grimaced slightly as the bitter taste hit her tongue. "Who's watching?" she asked.
"Coral and Indi are still assigned to Brianna; Mal and Jade are trading off with Opal since Charisma and Kent are currently sharing household space." Esmeralda blinked and Amber nodded slowly. "Yeah. They decided it would just be easier on everyone if they were together for the next couple days. I think Jade said something about them breaking the separation news to the family after the wake."
Esmeralda shook her head. "I know I should be glad that something positive is coming out of this whole fiasco. But I can honestly say I just don't care. Don't get me wrong," she continued when Amber opened her mouth to speak. "I do hope it works out well for them. After all, we've invested a lot into this mission, and they deserve to find happiness together after all this time. On the other hand - it's cost me everything. I just want it to be over now." Esmeralda took a deep breath and blinked rapidly to keep the tears from spilling. Amber remained silent. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up."
Amber nodded. "I'll wait down here until you're done in case someone shows up while you're gone."
Esmeralda rose and put her half-full cup into the sink. She passed behind Amber, squeezing her shoulder briefly before she disappeared back into her bedroom. Amber watched her go and sighed, rubbing her eyes to rid them of the harsh stinging. She couldn't wait for this to be over.
************
Ruby wandered into the kitchen a few minutes later, stopping at the threshold when the sound of running water caught her attention. Amber looked up and waited for Ruby's eyes to find hers, then she motioned towards the coffee pot.
"I think there's enough for one more cup," she offered.
Ruby nodded her thanks and crossed to the coffeemaker, pouring out a cup and starting a new pot. She noticed the half-full cup in the sink, and turned to look at Amber.
"How is she?" straight and to the point. Amber shrugged.
"I'm not sure. I'd almost call her unfeeling at this point - except you and I both know the entire problem is she feels too much." A knock sounded on the door before Amber could elaborate and Amber motioned for Ruby to stay put. "I'll go," she offered. "Es is expecting them."
A moment later and Amber returned with Charisma trailing behind her. Ruby offered her a cup of coffee that was accepted, then they all took a seat at the table. Before the silence could grow too awkward, Charisma cleared her throat to speak.
"How is she?" looking between Amber and Ruby. Ruby gestured to Amber and Charisma focused her attention in that direction.