Brianna was just opening the door for Esmeralda when Charisma caught up to them.
"Brianna!!" seeing the slight slump of shoulders when she called out and feeling pain of that reaction cut into her again. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "Wait... please."
Esmeralda and Brianna traded stares for a moment, then Brianna nodded to her once. Esmeralda put a comforting hand on her arm and squeezed it affectionately, then she turned to face Charisma. Charisma forced herself to look away from Brianna, knowing Esmeralda would recognize the naked longing in her eyes and not caring. More than anyone, Esmeralda would understand and forgive her for it. She opened her arms and Esmeralda stepped into her embrace.
"Thank you, Charisma... for everything. I would have said something earlier, but you and Mama were so deep in conversation, I hated to interrupt. I just figured I'd tell you tomorrow."
Charisma pulled back enough to cup one hand around Esmeralda's cheek. "Thank you for letting us do something for you, Es. Though we'd rather there never have been a reason, you know?"
Esmeralda nodded and whispered, "I know."
"As for interrupting... you wouldn't have been. And if you need someone to talk to or you need to get out of the house for a little while - day or night, you call me, okay? You're always welcome."
"Thank you, Charisma." They hugged again once more, then Esmeralda was out the door and into the waiting limo, leaving Brianna and Charisma standing awkwardly alone in the foyer. Brianna finally broke the uneasy silence.
"Was there something you needed, Charisma?"
Charisma studied Brianna, seeing so much swirling in the depths of her eyes. She bit her lip and nodded. "I need you to know that what happened between Kent and me was not your fault. Your coming here may have been the catalyst that spurred us to actually take action on the situation, but you did nothing to influence the decision we reached. Our marriage as an intimate relationship was over long before you ever stepped foot in Washington, D.C.."
Brianna blinked slowly and sighed. "Why are you telling me this, Charisma?" an underlying hint of sadness in her tone.
"I know I've made a complete mess of everything between us - from letting you walk out of my life twenty years ago to being an ass towards you when you got here to thinking nothing had to change between us once I knew your truth to rushing the pretense of a friendship that we both managed to ignore until it was gone. So many things I've done wrong where you and I are concerned." She dropped her eyes to the ground and shook her head, hoping to clear her eyes of tears before she looked up again. "If I could go back...."
"If wishes were horses," Brianna muttered.
"Beggars would ride - exactly," Charisma finished with a soft chuckle. "However, I know the only way through is straight ahead... no reset button, right?"
Brianna snorted, knowing Charisma knew that reference strictly due to Adam. "Right," she agreed.
"Right," Charisma repeated. "So, um... I know that you've already given me a couple chances to get this right, and I keep screwing things up left and right and sideways. But I've spent the last few months trying to come to terms with things about myself that I've spent a lifetime denying. I still haven't gotten through most of my issues - it may take me the rest of my life to work through them all. But I am trying now and I was wondering if you might be willing to offer me one more chance... because as much as I don't want you and the family to break-up, I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge that I don't want to give you up either... not again. I'm selfish that way." She paused and Brianna waited, recognizing the signs that indicated that Charisma wasn't finished.
"Esmeralda was right, you know - at least as far as I'm concerned. I AM scared - not so much of what people will think... or even of what this could do to my career." She saw Brianna's brow cock derisively and shook her head. "I am a little scared - politics is all I've ever known... all I've ever been a part of my entire adult life; I'm not sure what I would do instead, but I imagine the family is already working on ideas," seeing Brianna reflect the smirk that crossed her face, "and knowing they'll be behind me regardless...." She drew in a breath. "But I AM scared of letting you down... of not being what you need me to be... because my track record where you're involved is abysmal."
"Charisma...."
"Brianna, please," she pleaded, tilting her head towards the ceiling so Brianna wouldn't see the tears slide down her face.
"Charisma, look at me." Charisma closed her eyes and released a shaky breath before bringing her hands to her face to wipe her tears. Only then did she turn her gaze to Brianna. Brianna sucked in a breath of her own and bit her lip - she'd never been able to stand to see Charisma cry, and to know she was ultimately the cause of this particular breakdown....
"What exactly are you proposing?"
Charisma couldn't stop the hope that flared in her eyes, but she replied calmly, "I'd like us to start over... really start over. I know we can't actually unlearn the things we know about each other, but it seems like maybe if we go back to how we were in the beginning... when we were getting to know one another, that perhaps we could learn about the people we are now."
"And the fact that I love you...."
Charisma took an uneven breath. "I am still trying to understand that about us, because I'm pretty sure I...." She stopped speaking when Brianna's fingers covered her lips.
"No," she instructed with a shake of her head, rushing forward when she saw the tears flood Charisma's eyes once more. "No, I don't want you to say it until you're sure - until you absolutely mean what you're saying and are prepared to live with all the consequences and commitments it brings." Brianna removed her fingers and Charisma stared at her momentarily before clearing her throat.
"Are you saying...?"
Brianna held up a hand and Charisma stopped. "Did you know Laura Maxwell called me into her office yesterday?" seeing Charisma's eyes widen in shock. Brianna nodded. "Mmhmm - she told me to stay away from you... said I would be detrimental to your Presidential campaign." Now the blue eyes darkened in anger.
"Oh no she didn't," Charisma growled. Brianna nodded again.
"She did, in fact." Brianna chuckled. "It was almost entertaining, actually. Made me feel like I was in the middle of a badly written soap opera." Charisma snorted. "I told her you were a big girl who had been making decisions on your own for years and you could take care of yourself."
"You're probably the only person to stand up to her in forever."
"Yes, well... she needed a little comeuppance. I was just the one lucky enough to be able to give it to her," Brianna said, making a little face. "Still, I know however misguided her intentions were, she is your friend and councilor... especially in regards to your future ambitions concerning the Presidency. Maybe before we make any decisions here, you should talk to her."
Charisma glared at Brianna, blue eyes almost glowing in her irritation. "Did you not just two minutes ago tell me I could make my own decisions? I will talk to Laura - we already have a meeting scheduled for first thing in the morning to put together a more detailed press release regarding my separation from Kent. But *she* has nothing to do with *us*. *I* want you here... in my life. I want to know if you want that enough to give me one more chance to get it right."
"Charisma....
"Brianna, I can't not try.... not after seeing what Es has gone through these last few days. I don't want to have any more regrets than I already do. I don't want to waste any of the time we have left together."