"Is this an intervention of some kind?" she asked with a hint of sad humor in her voice.
"You could call it that," Charisma replied softly. "We're worried about you, Es. You're dying in front of us, and that's not acceptable! And we're going to do whatever it takes to change that."
Esmeralda could hear the tears Charisma was biting back and she crossed the room and placed a hand on Charisma's arm. Charisma's motion stilled at the touch and the rest of the room halted their work in deference to that lack of movement. Esmeralda smiled sadly at Charisma and shook her head.
"There's nothing you can do, Charisma. Without Saphira...." She shook her head.
"C'mon, Es," Brianna begged softly. "You have to want to live... you have to try. Don't you want to see Adam grow up? Don't you want to know how our story turns out?" reaching out a hand to Charisma who took it without hesitation. "After all, you're at least partially responsible for us getting this far."
"Adam is going to become a wonderful man - he is such a precious child, and with so many brilliant adult role models, I have great faith in his future. As for you two, I have to believe that in choosing happiness, you have finally discovered that your true path in life lies in being together no matter where it takes you. The only thing I'm responsible for is calling it like I see it - you two are responsible for the rest."
"Es, is there anything we can do?" Kay asked, confident of the answer, but wanting to hear Esmeralda's explanation. It might help the others to accept the truth of what Kay knew to be true.
"I don't think so, Kay. It's not that I want to die - I just don't want to live very much. There's nothing left for me here." Esmeralda held up a hand before the protestations could start and they respected her unspoken request to remain silent. She took several deep breaths before expelling a sigh and resumed speaking. "It's not that I don't love all of you or appreciate your places in my life. I will never be able to convey what you mean to me. But Saphira and I were always a part of one another... from the very beginning. I felt what she did; she knew my pain and my happiness. We started together and we were supposed to be together forever - we were promised forever. And yet, I haven't seen her... haven't felt her near since the night before her funeral service. I thought she was going to watch over me...." Esmeralda shook her head. "It doesn't really matter what I thought. The fact is that when she died, so did I. It's just taking my body longer to catch up to that truth."
"Bullshit!!" Charisma and Brianna exploded together, drawing startled looks from two of the other women in the room. Esmeralda didn't flinch - she merely held their gaze with her own sad one. "You're choosing this, Es. You're choosing to die!" Brianna accused.
"No... I'm really not. If I was choosing death, it would already be over. And I promised Amber I would do everything in my power to not put her through this again. But my heart is broken, and the only thing... the only person... that could have fixed it is no longer around to do so... not even in my dreams."
"So you're dying from a broken heart?" Okasa queried.
"Essentially, yes," Esmeralda replied. "I felt it fracture before I got the news of Saphira's death. And when I said goodbye to her in the hospital...." She looked at the ceiling and blinked back her tears. "I felt it stop beating." Charisma and Brianna snorted.
"I don't believe that," Charisma scoffed. "I don't think it's possible."
"It *is* possible," Kay confirmed, drawing a glare from Charisma that she ignored, choosing to focus on Esmeralda instead. "It's rare, but it's completely conceivable - especially between partners who are mated and have spent a lifetime together. Can we help make it easier, Es?" taking Esmeralda's hands in her own and clasping them gently.
"I don't think so," Esmeralda returned quietly. "I'm just taking things one day at a time." She turned to look at Charisma and Brianna who were clutching one another's hands, knowing that their anger was due in large part to the guilt and helplessness they felt. Kay released her hands, and Esmeralda cupped each of their faces with one hand, forcing them to raise their eyes to meet hers. "Please don't," she pled softly. "Please don't feel guilt over this and please don't refuse to be happy now. The only thing that has given me any real joy since Saphira's death is knowing that the two of you have finally found happiness together. Please don't take that away from me."
Charisma covered the hand covering her cheek, and smiled through her tears. "You don't play very fair at all," she grumbled. Esmeralda laughed.
"Of course not. I live in a political town - I play to win," causing the other four women to snicker.
Brianna took Esmeralda's hand from her face and enfolded it between hers. "We don't want you to go, Es. What'll we do without you?"
"The same thing you've always done, Brianna - live. I promise to stay with you as long as I can, and I'll be watching over you once I'm gone."
"Like a Guardian Angel," Charisma whispered, fingers touching the pin she wore every day that Esmeralda had given her those many months ago.
Esmeralda nodded. "Exactly like a Guardian Angel. Now how about we make some lunch?"
"Good idea - especially since Kent and Adam will be by with ice cream soon." And with that, they stood and began preparing the food that had been brought.
************
"Es?" Brianna asked as they cleaned up the kitchen sometime later. "What happened to Amber and Ruby? I expected them to stick around for a while... especially Ruby since she came here to help you out to begin with."
"They both had other responsibilities, and Ruby being here was creating a hardship for other members of the family, I think. I couldn't justify asking either of them to stay when they had so many other obligations they were accountable for."
"That kinda sucks," Kay commented as she dried a pan and passed it to Esmeralda to put away.
Esmeralda shrugged. "Life does sometimes. We just have to appreciate the good when it happens."
Okasa put a hand on Esmeralda's arm. "Is there any way I can convince you to stop working and come stay with us for whatever time you have left?"
Tears welled in Esmeralda's eyes, but she refused to allow them to fall. "Oh, Okasa... you have no idea how tempting that sounds, but I can't. I still have medical bills and funeral debts that have to be taken care of. I can't leave that for Amber to worry about. It's going to be hard enough for her to deal with my death."
Kay tilted her head curiously and Esmeralda proffered her full attention. "If your dying will bother her so much, why isn't she here spending time with you while you're still alive?"
Esmeralda studied Kay's expression, finding nothing but compassion and curiosity in her gaze. "I don't think she can be. For one thing, she's still trying to deal with Saphira's death - she was less prepared for that possibility than I was. For another, I don't think the Father will allow it."
"I don't understand."
"Saphira and I were banished from our home - disowned, if you will. She basically had to demand the right to attend Saphira's service with me. I think the Father has refused her permission to return."
"And she's incapable of defying Him?"
Esmeralda chuckled unexpectedly, and the sound drew smiles from everyone. "Oh no - she's quite capable of defiance. She could be a professional. I asked her not to. I won't be the cause of her being banished as well, and I'd prefer she stay in His good graces... just in case I need her."