"I know. I just... we usually don't come into situations this late. There aren't any kids involved." She leaned forward and brushed a kiss over Esmeralda's forehead. "Go to bed - before your mate loses what's left of her patience with me."
Esmeralda smiled and the rest chuckled, knowing none of them wanted Saphira on the warpath with them in her sights - not given that she'd stood up to Him for Esmeralda. They waved goodbye and left to begin their day.
************
"So you're the reason Jas called me with car trouble?" Brianna asked when she beckoned Esmeralda into her inner sanctum many hours later. She didn't appear angry... just a little chagrined. Esmeralda nodded her head sheepishly.
"I asked her to. I wanted to check on you."
"I'm all right," Brianna assured Esmeralda. "I've just been... I've been trying to figure things out. I need to do something. I just need to figure out what that something is."
"And you need to do that on your own," Esmeralda stated.
Brianna shrugged. "I don't know. I really... it seems like I should, you know? I mean, this is my life... our lives. Seems like we should be the ones...."
Esmeralda smiled as she moved around the room, dusting as she moved. "I understand, Brianna. I really do. But I know sometimes you just need an impartial ear and if you find you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me."
"How do you do that?" Brianna asked after a few minutes of silence as she watched Esmeralda dust around the room then return to her cart for a spray bottle and clean cloth to start a second round of cleaning. Esmeralda turned back and looked at Brianna with a confused frown.
"Excuse me?" glancing at her cleaning tools.
Brianna chuckled. "No... sorry. I understand the cleaning thing, even if I'm not nearly as thorough as you are," grinning at the unexpected blush that chased up Esmeralda's fair skin. Then she sobered. "No," she said, her voice dropping. "How do you know just what to say? I mean, it's true - I have been busy this week trying to settle in and learn this job as quickly as I can. But I've also been avoiding you because I didn't know what to say after what happened at the diner the other night," hanging her head down so her hair hid her face.
Esmeralda looked at the stuff in her hands and sighed, then she put it down and crossed to Brianna's desk and extended a hand to her. When she realized Brianna couldn't actually see her hand, she touched Brianna's hand, gratified when warmth closed around hers immediately.
"Come sit with me a minute." Brianna rose without argument and followed Esmeralda to the couch, taking a seat at one end and releasing her hold on the hand she held to let Esmeralda sit down on the other. "Brianna," waiting for green eyes to track to hers. "Do you remember what I told you just last week - your first day in this office? About being a student of human nature?"
"Of course, Es. You proved it pretty spectacularly."
Esmeralda chuckled. "I've had a lot of practice at trying to say the right thing as well. I don't always get it right, but I keep trying. But in your case... well, I've been there, done that."
"How so?"
"When it looked like Saphira might be lost to me, it was... oh heavens... it was so many horrible things wrapped up into this tight little ball of misery that sat in the pit of my stomach and made it hard for me to breathe, much less anything else. And the worst part was everyone who knew us knew what was happening, even if they couldn't begin to know what I was going through. So I know what it feels to be embarrassed and humiliated and confused and angry and any other number of emotions that you've probably run the gamut on as well. Helps give me a little more insight to your situation."
"What did you do?"
Esmeralda shook her head. "Nothing you want to try, Brianna. I fell deathly ill. Saphira was the one who did all the doing."
"And what did she do?"
"She stood up and demanded something different."
"I'm not sure I understand," Brianna admitted. "Would that apply here?"
"I don't think so. What does your gut tell you?"
"That I would like to hear your story. And then I would like to discuss ideas with you."
"I can do that, but I need to finish the rest of the floor first. That will give us whatever time we need."
Brianna waved her off. "Go do what you need to do. I will be here when you get done."
Esmeralda nodded and put things away. Then she edged her cart out the door. "I'll be back shortly," she promised.
"I'll be here," Brianna answered as she watched Esmeralda leave, then rose and went back to her desk, focusing on her work once more. Suddenly, she felt better.
Chapter XXII
"Wow, that's amazing," Brianna said quietly when Esmeralda finished relaying the story she had also shared with Charisma. "She really stood up for you... gave up everything??" Esmeralda nodded solemnly.
"She did. She actually gave up more than I did. She literally gave up everything - her home, her title and wealth, her occupation... everything. I kept my job and actually ended up with a promotion of sorts."
Brianna's lips twisted wryly. "Yeah... those 'of sorts' things can get you into real trouble - usually more work and responsibility for less money. But Es, from what you said she didn't give up her home. She fought for that."
Esmeralda tilted her head in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Brianna. I know the home she had before... the home we shared. We don't live there anymore."
This time Brianna smiled. "Oh Es... that was just a house. The home she shares is with you, and she refused to give that up." Esmeralda covered her lips but couldn't contain the gasp that escaped. Brianna patted her free hand. "See, I got the important parts."
"Even better than I did, apparently," Esmeralda replied self-deprecatingly. "Sometimes I am such an idiot."
Brianna snorted. "Sometimes we all are, my friend. Otherwise, the world would be a much nicer place to live, and I wouldn't be sitting here trying to figure out what to do about the woman I have been in love with for more than half my life."
"What would you like to do?"
"Kiss her senseless??" Brianna replied immediately, then promptly blushed. "I mean...."
Esmeralda smiled. "Oh, I think you meant exactly that, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do in this case at the moment." She paused. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Brianna said good-naturedly. "It's not like I have to answer, and it's not like I couldn't use some help here if you've got any ideas. Go for it."
"You're considered out, aren't you? People know your orientation?"
Brianna frowned. "Pretty much, yes. I mean... I didn't announce it over a PA system like Ellen did, and I don't introduce myself as Brianna Walker, lesbian, but it's pretty common knowledge as far as I know. I haven't used a man as an escort since my first year out of college and I have been seen with women publicly - both for professional reasons and in my personal life." She hesitated, then continued. "I'm no blushing virgin, if that's what you're asking."
Esmeralda's brows went into her hairline. "Um, no... that wasn't what I was asking, but thanks for sharing," grinning when Brianna stuck out her tongue. "No... I was asking because - would you go into the closet? Would you hide your relationship to be with Charisma?"
Brianna held green eyes that matched her own for a long moment, then shook her head. "I don't think I could," she said honestly. "I don't think I could be someone I'm not to be with anyone." She shrugged. "If I can't be honest and be who I am with the person who is supposed to love me unconditionally, what kind of foundation are we going to have together? So no. Besides," she added, clasped her hands together in her lap. "Charisma is married and that makes her off-limits to me. I'm not a home wrecker... ever."