"I meant what I said about cultivating your friendship, Esmeralda. I really like you and Saphira, and so does Adam. Personally, I think he believes she's his own personal superhero. And to be completely honest, I'd like to invite Brianna over as well, and I'd feel more comfortable with you and Saphira there. But I figure you may need a little recovery time from last week, hence the invite for next Sunday and not this one."
"I'll talk to Saphira. I know she'll be willing, but let me make sure she doesn't have plans for something else that day. Sometimes when the weather's good, we go out to the Mall and take a picnic - or visit the museums."
"I haven't done that in a long time," Charisma responded wistfully. "Sometimes I miss having time just to do what I want or be just Charisma. Sometimes I think she got lost in the politics that living here and being part of the political machine is."
"Maybe. But maybe in reconnecting with Brianna, you'll be able to find her again."
"That'd be nice - highly unlikely, but nice." Charisma moved over behind her desk, shutting down her laptop and stuffing it and the bills she needed to review into her briefcase. "Let me get out of here so you can get done and go home. No reason to worry Saphira if you don't have too, right?"
Esmeralda nodded. "Yeah - she worries enough without me adding to it. Goodnight, Senator Tagherty."
"Goodnight, Es."
************
"Brianna?" Esmeralda called out as she knocked on the door. "Senator Walker?" When there was no answer, Esmeralda opened the door to the inner office and pushed her cart ahead of her. She closed the door and reached for the light switch, only to have her hand stayed by the sound of Brianna's voice in the dark.
"Leave it off, please."
Esmeralda's head snapped up and she peered around in the near pitch darkness, finding a tiny light coming from the direction of Brianna's desk. "Brianna?" she asked softly. "Are you all right?"
"I don't think so, Es."
Esmeralda gave silent thanks for the advantages of Angel vision and slowly threaded her way across the room until she was standing beside Brianna's desk. A quick look showed her clearly what the light was shining on and Esmeralda gestured towards it. "May I?"
Brianna handed it over to Esmeralda and turned on the brighter desk lamp so Esmeralda could actually see what she was holding. Esmeralda leaned down, surprised to find that the photograph she held was not the one she expected it to be. Instead, it showed Brianna and Charisma in what appeared to be a private moment backstage after a performance. Esmeralda wanted to ask, but before she could open her lips to speak, Brianna began to explain.
"I was a double major in college - one in law, of course, and one in the theatre. I figured the theatre degree could be put to good use in the courtroom if utilized correctly, and I was right," she said with a proud smile. Esmeralda returned the smile and studied the picture once more. Brianna started talking again. "What I didn't know when I decided to have a theatre major was that it meant I had to learn all aspects of the theatre - acting, lighting, sound, set building, costume design and writing. Most of it was easy enough and I enjoyed it. After a day studying the law, it was a welcome break and a chance to be creative."
"So what happened?" Esmeralda asked when the silence began to drag on uncomfortably.
"I had to write." Esmeralda's eyebrows went into her hairline and her eyes widened comically. Brianna chuckled at her expression.
"Was it a bad thing?"
Brianna sighed. "No... not really. I was actually very good at it. A little too good, maybe," she added, biting her lip. "Professor Mac - my theatre prof - chose my play to be introduced to the student body during the Spring Bonanza. Trust me... it was a really big deal," Brianna explained, waving off Esmeralda's questions. "I had put my heart and soul into this play - it exposed me in ways nothing ever had before."
"Or since, I imagine."
"Or since," Brianna agreed. "But it was really good and exceptionally well received."
"And the picture?" Esmeralda prompted when Brianna stopped speaking. Brianna reached for the picture and Esmeralda released it, watching Brianna's expression shift as she studied it with both eyes and hands.
"The picture was something I didn't know about until some time later. At the end of the night, before the bows were taken or the accolades received, Charisma made her way backstage. You have to understand that she was a confirmed first-nighter for every performance I was part of in college. It didn't matter how big or small the part, Charisma was always there for the first night's performance. Everyone learned very quickly who she was and that we were best friends. So by the time our Senior Spring Bonanza rolled around, no one even questioned her right to be backstage before the play was even properly over. She was one of us."
"Okay, so...?" motioning to the photograph Brianna was still absently caressing.
"The moment she got backstage, she wrapped me up in a hug so tight," shaking her head as she waved the picture. "Professor Mac snapped this picture without our knowledge, though he did send me a copy of it later. He commented on what a beautiful couple we were and hoped that we would be able to find happiness together in life."
"What did you tell him?"
"What could I tell him? I knew that was never going to happen. Charisma and I had talked about it and she told me in no uncertain terms that she would never derail her political aspirations for love with a woman... even me." Brianna looked down at the picture again and smiled through her tears. "Es, it was amazing. She surrounded me and I knew I never wanted to be anywhere else but in her arms. In her arms I was safe and sheltered and loved."
"So why did you go to Europe with her? Why didn't you just leave after graduation?"
Brianna's laugh was painfully sad. "It sounds like that would be the smart thing to do, doesn't it? It sounds like it would be so easy." She shook her head again. "I couldn't. I *wanted* that trip with her and the memories it would give me - because I knew there would never be a chance for more. I tried to convince myself that it would be easier to say goodbye if I had something to hang on to." She snorted. "Sometimes I wonder how I've ever been as successful as I've been as a lawyer, because even *I* didn't believe that one."
"And you couldn't just tell her the truth?"
"No more than I can now," her voice bitter.
"Then why are you doing this, Brianna? If she can't accept what's between you, why are you letting her back into your life?" Esmeralda waited patiently for the answer. She wanted Brianna to be sure of what she was doing and why she was doing it. Because if things went wrong this time, there was no next time and no more chances.
"I thought you wanted me to, Es. I thought you wanted us to be friends."
"I think it would be fantastic if you two could be friends again. You're obviously so good together, or you were at one time," motioning to the pictures scattered around the office. "But this isn't about me and what I want. I thought you had decided to move on." She paused a moment. "I want you to be happy, Brianna, and you don't seem very happy about this turn of events. And I feel a little responsible for that since I invited her and Adam to join us Sunday and that seems to be what has precipitated this change of heart for you."
Brianna took a deep breath. "You're right - I had decided to move on, accepting that our friendship was over and nothing but a lost cause as far as she was concerned. Charisma made it abundantly clear she would never forgive me for leaving, even though she refused to acknowledge why. She's still refusing to do that, by the way." Brianna turned and met Esmeralda's eyes, both of them glittering black in the darkness. "Es, have you ever had something you really wanted - even though you knew it was bad for you and was probably going to do more harm than you could possibly live through - have you ever had something like that handed to you? As much as I need Charisma out of my life, I want her there," as if that explained everything.