She looks at us.. she’s all shaken with sobs… I go at him again, the matter’s not settled!. It’s still on my mind!..
"But it was you, Boro!. You were the one!”
I want him to realize. to stop shooting his mouth off!
"Me?. Me?”. he repeats. in a real daze..
"Me what?. Me what?”
He doesn’t understand a thing.
Outside it’s getting a little light. it’s starting. you can see it through the blinds.. sort of vague.. greenish.. then gray. It's not ordinary daylight. it has an effect on me. it’s different from the usual daylight.
"You got to be careful you know, you dog!”. I’m warning him.. eye to eye!.. "Got to watch out for drafts!.. you see the old guy there?. He died on account of them”. That’s how I talk to him. To me it’s funny!.. Jigging! there! writhing around!.. let him laugh too, the dirty gorilla!
"What about the gal?. Is she moving?”
She’s stretched out. she’s crying again!.. I give her a kick in the ribs… so she’ll straighten up!. She lets out a yell.. She’s reacting and furioso!.. Her eyes are all stuck together. she rubs them. she gets the moths out. bango, a riot!. She spits at me. she insults me. She calls me a garbage pail!.. Who’d’ve thought it!. She, usually so ladylike!.. she forgets all about her politeness!.. just a little kick!
"You little pirate!” she yells…"you little hyena!..you cholera! ”
Ah!.. some nerve!.. I answer back!..
"You pig!” I say to her… "You bitch!.. Look at your guy!”
She hasn’t even seen him!.. The fathead hasn’t seen a thing… I grab her by the back of the neck, I force her, I make her bend down so she can look! Right up against him!. With her nose on top of him!..
"What do you say about that?. There!. Take a look!.. now say something! ”
But it’s too dark in the room.. she doesn’t see a thing… I bring over the lamp, right against him. the water globe.. That does it!. She sees him all right! She sees it all. she wobbles her head… she stands there gaga, without moving..
"Ah!” she says, "ah! oh!’’…she can’t believe it…just petrified.. and then wow!
"Oooh!. Oooh!”. she starts howling, and what screams! She plunges forward. throws herself on the body.. she grabs it. hugs it. she kisses it all over. mouth!. eyes! she lies on top of it!.. She kisses the head, the blood.. she slobbers all over it!.. and then she goes for us!
"You murderers! murderers!” she calls us, and she points at us!. she’s counting us. "One!. Two!. One! two murderers! ”
"Go take a shit, you whore! ”
It’s getting on Boro’s nerves.. "Sh! sh! ” he whispers.. she doesn’t give a damn!. she’s high! she’s in a trance, that’s all!
.. Now she’s at us!
"Why, you murderers! don’t you know me? you don’t know who I am? Finish your job!”
She’s offering herself up like that as a victim.. her, too!.. the martyr! the volunteer! Right off! immediately!.. she’s egging us on!.. She’s challenging us!..
"One more to kill! here! here!’’. She shows us her skinny chest.. she bares herself..
"Finish your job! ”
All exalted.. panting!..
"I’m Mary Stuart! Yes! I’ve just arrived from France!”
She’s proclaiming it!.. Then she dashes to the body again.. she kneels over Claben in prayer… all shuddering.. she lifts her veil high up, over the feathers. her hat. she uncovers her neck. she’s offering it to us!.. to cut it off. her slender neck…
"Cut it off!. Cut it off!” she wants us to behead her. It’s her last breath.. "Cut it off!.. Cut it off! ”
She’s ordering it.. she starts all over..
"I’m Mary Stuart, from France! ”
Same refrain!.. damn it! that’s enough.. Boro’s enjoying it, the big ape! Ah! I’ve had more than enough!. He doesn’t see it’s getting light outside! almost day. I point to it.
"Look! ” I say to him.. "Look! ”
I sit down again. I’m too tired..and the other idiot’s still yelling her head off! I can’t kill them all!. Ah! it’s getting too light. The yataghan’s back!. It’s on the table. I see it there!. I’m going to take it now!. I’m going to grab it!
.. No!.. Not worth the trouble!.. Everything’s been said. First of all, it’s getting cold!. dawn’s breaking. the cold.. No denying it.. Cold and anxious.. Boy, but it’s cold!. I’m shivering. the questions going through my mind!
.. loads of ’em, real ones.. not drunken nonsense!.. real questions with the cold!. You can’t just go on raising hell, it’s got to come to an end.. and then you’ve got to get out of it! Doesn’t work out all by itself!. You finally come to realize it!. I throw up a bit. gives me some relief. it was the right moment!. Boro’s puking, too. We sit down in a reasonable state of mind!. Enough foolishness!.. We try to think!. It’s cold now!. It’s almost daytime!. Delphine interrupts us!. Ah! that old fart!. she’s yelling again.. whining louder and louder!. Mary Stuart’s over. She’s got a headache now. Like pincers twisting her head around!..
"What a headache! What pain!”.. She turns to me. "Do you hear me, Froggy?”
She’s insulting me as a Frenchman!.. Then she starts putting on her act again.. she plunges into prayer. kneeling over the body.. with tears streaming!.. she starts begging us to cut off her head!. her headache’s too bad!. That’s how she is!
"Go on, you rascals!. Go on, you brutes!” she begs us.. "Here’s Mary Stuart for you! Here’s Mary Stuart! The poor little queen!”. She gives us a pain in the ass!. All the same, we’re going to have to get out! arrange things in the place! at least try to!.. I was used to it, I’d already seen bodies and bloodier ones than this!. much more messed up!. I’d seen much worse!. especially in Artois!. under the mortars.. really chopped up!.. I was quiet, in a way, it was Boro who was worried..
"You think it’s really him?” he asks me again.
Some idea.
It’s a funny question to ask me… he touches him again, he’s in doubt! he messes around!. He leans on his belly!..
"Say! ” he calls to him.. "Say! ”
He’d even like to make him talk!.. He picks up the turban… He puts it back on the head… It’s hard for him to realize… It doesn’t seem possible to him.. Still he’s sobered up.. he sees straight.. But he still doesn’t realize..
He doesn’t yield to reason..
"You think it’s really him?”
Ah! the idiot!
"Of course!” I answer, "of course!..and you’re the one who split his head open! ”
"Me? Me?”
He stares at me flabbergasted.
"Of course!..Sure!.. and how!”
I want him to get it into his head! So I insist, damn it, I’ve got to!
"Say! Delphine! Listen! Listen to him! ”
He’s calling Delphine to witness, he’s acting phony again!
.. But Delphine’s not listening.. she’s leaning her head forward… her neck bent over her body.. she’s offering herself up. that’s all she wants. she wants to be beheaded. she’s dead set on it!
Boro’s wild with anger, with rage at me!.. He’s acting flabbergasted, out of his mind!..
"But God damn it!.. But it’s a shame! ”
Ah! the skunk, he’s trying to bluff me!.. He flies off the handle!..
"Who fell on his head this time?” he asks me. the nerve of him!
"The old guy!” I answer. "The old guy!. He fell from his stepladder all by himself! Now are you satisfied?… Is that enough for you?… He threw himself down.. Does that explain it?”
I bust out laughing. Boy, that’s a hot one, the stepladder!
Clears up everything, doesn’t it?
Ah! I’m proud of myself!..
I stand up… I want to take a look outside! I want to breathe the air! I feel dizzy again… I sit down… I want to get it straight, still and all.. But I’ve got an awful headache!.. my ear’s buzzing bad. my arm’s throbbing. the orgy! the drunk! the cigarettes!.. I try to figure out what might happen… I can’t think straight!.. The old guy, that’s a fact!.. There he is!. His head’s split all right!.. No mistake about that!. He’s in a heap in front of us!. In all his embroideries!. the turban, the overcoats. It’s all there!..