and of Cascade, too!.. suddenly it hits me, it sets me on fire! Ah! what a dope I am! I never in my life want to see them again! Ah! I’ll have the strength, God damn it!.. none of them!The little trains give you a jolting. They’re jerky.. They're nervous.. We pass a station.. we’ll soon come to Clapham…
“You’re not sore?’’ he asks me..
“Oh! no! no! I’m not sore! ”
It’s nice of him..
"Just wait!” I say to myself.. “the next one!.. Boy, am I going to beat it!.. Sincerely yours!.. Good sailing! my darlings!”
Clapham! That’s it!.. Now’s the moment! A whistle!.. the door! It just closes! I dash forward! squeeze it open.. Zip!.. That does it!.. Push! on the platform!.. just! on the button! Yip! Bravo, boy! The train takes off!.. Oh! their mugs!.. They see me! I didn’t get hurt!. lucky! whisked! zip! with my leg!
“So long!.. So long! ” I yell to them..
There! I did it! Now some rest! Squat! first!
Wait a minute!.. Got to know where I am. the stations are all right for that.
k/o now I’m free. I drag around like that for two. three days.. I sleep here and there. I spend time in the movies.. I keep out of sight pretty much. I avoid the center of town… I watch out for meeting the wrong people! I keep track of my money… all the same, it’s running out.. When I’ve got around two or three shillings left, I say to myself that I’ve got to stay in the stations.. It’s warm, you sleep well, you wait..
I had no definite ideas… I couldn’t make up my mind.. I decided on Waterloo.. It’s got the nicest waiting-room.. It’s certainly the most upholstered… I knew a particular bench on the other side of the heaters that was as inconspicuous as possible.. back behind the exit.. from which you could see people passing.. the whole crowd… all the main lines… A real torrent in those days… all the men in the services… a continuous stream of soldiers.. khaki!.. more khaki!.. at the gate there’d be a waiting.. swarms of hustlers!.. they’d cross inside!.. I know you!.. At random.. high-heeled shoes!.. boas! yellow stockings!.. red stockings.. purple stockings!.. the styles of the time… on the attack… a hot chase!.. day and night!.. They’d carry off Tommy Atkins with his wad! Mohamed Jouglou! Gorgovitch! whatever came along! soldiers on a spree! the dominions! the natives! the dear allies! at top speed!.. tearing off a piece not a hundred yards away.. in the alley to the left, first floor.. Tudor Commons… I shouldn’t have sat down there.. After all it wasn’t playing safe! But I was pretty bored, got to admit!. That was my excuse… I didn’t know anyone… I dozed awhile on the upholstered seat… I even had a rather long sleep. Suddenly. someone’s disturbing me.. shaking me.
“It’s you!.. Ah! it’s you, pretty boy! ”
I jump up with a start.
“Ah! it’s you, Finette?.. Ah! that’s nice!”
"What the hell are you doing here?”.. She’s questioning me.. "They’re all asking about you at the Leicester! ”
I’d rather not talk much. I mumble something.. that I’d taken a little trip. She was the one who gave me the news. that things were fine at the “Boardinghouse”.. that there were no more arguments.. that everyone had made up… on the go again for a time. That Cascade had taken back all his women.. that Joconde was back, cured, from the London Hospital.. with her mashed-up ass.. was down in the kitchen again.. that Angele was back with her bad boy.. that she was breaking in the new girls.. but that Cascade’s sore about my breezing out on him!..Ah! he doesn’t like that one bit!..
“All right, Finette! All right!” I answer.. "You still haven’t got me!.. I can see you coming a mile off! ”
Suddenly I feel anxious again..
“Who?.. Who sent you?” I ask.. "Spit it out!.. Right now!.. Cascade or Matthew?”
Ah! no monkey-business!
“Me?” she exclaims.. "Ah! It’s a crime! I swear to you!” “Well?” I said, dropping my voice. “It must be about the Dingby!. say it!.. or Claben? Eh?.. isn’t it?.. Claben?” Ah! I’m suspicious..
No beating about the bush… I come straight out with it..
I insist.. Ah! she looks at me.. she thinks I’m queer..
“Kiss me!” she says.. “Kiss me!.. You’re like my wounded brother.. the war’s been getting you too!.. But he’s in Athis-Mons now, home with the family.. You shouldn’t be going out either.. Let’s have a cup of coffee at the Basket.. You look cold!.. The treat’s on me!”
Finette works the stations… or rather around them… in other words, the whole wide sidewalk up to the movie-house.. She’d make enough even for two!.. She’d be satisfied with Fernande.. they’re pimped, naturally.. but Fernande’s a bitch.. she won’t cheat on Big Fatso!.. which causes jealousy! complications!. Big Fatso’s the world-champ loafer!.. He’s the prize pimp!.. It’s all right with him if his women monkey around with each other as long as they don’t hold out on his dough!.. He wants to collect on both of them… on three, on ten if he could! A very demanding gentleman!. Which gets Finette sore! she’d like to hand it over only to Fernande!
.. She must’ve had a reason for shaking me!.. She wants to tell me something!.. some news!.. That Big Fatso’s been called up again!.. yes sir! That the Consulate’s looking all over for him!.. Seems he made a hell of a face!.. Ah! no volunteering for him! Kid Gold-brick in person!..
Finette liked a good time!.. She had beautiful big green eyes.. like a cat… a bit slanting toward the temples. with a spark of mischief.. and devilish, but on the whole a pain in the neck!..
While we drank our coffee at the Basket, she told me a couple of lousy things about the big pimp.. That she couldn’t take him any more.. how he was too disgusting!.. that they weren’t clearing him out any too soon!.. he could go to hell!
.. She’d been waiting for that a long time!.. it wasn’t a luxury!.. She’d burned more than one candle.. He came from Montauban, the big pimp!.. She didn’t like people from the south!.. He used to be a tenor!.. so it seems… he was always yodeling!.. and he hadn’t sung for ten years!.. He was a dope! I’m telling you, a prize dope!.. Fernande didn’t understand anything!.. and she, Finette, was shelling out to both of them, what do you think of that!.. and for years! Nice, wasn’t it?.. And her Fernande was a real angel!.. Ah! she didn’t want to play second fiddle!.. Not her! Ah! she was through with that now!.. She sure was glad he was going!.. It was like giving her a bouquet of roses!.. the two girls all by themselves!.. "You’ll see how I’m going to work!.. What I’m doing now is nothing!.. And yet I’m working like a dog! I want my little woman to be happy!. Ah! my boy!.. Ah! just kid-stuff! I’m just loafing now!.. Wait’ll I really get going!.. There’ll be business! Business!.. There’s a whole world there!.. A whole world! ”
She was pointing to the station.. the sidewalk!..
"You’ll get a look at our clothes!.. And what about you?” she reminds herself. "Say, you’re not looking so good!.. You’ve lost weight!.. Why don’t you go back to Cascade’s? It's a good place.. He’s not stingy!.. Since you’re convalescing!.. One more mouth doesn’t matter!.. What a family in his joint!.. You should’ve built up your health!.. You’re like the rest of them! You’re slipping!.. You just don’t know where you’re at!.. That’s the trouble with you! ”
Finette, Big Fatso and Fernande lived in an apartment not very far from the Empire Music Hall. in Wardow.. They’d knock themselves silly, jealous alcohol binges, so that at times they’d lie on their backs two or three days in a row, giving each other herb tea, compresses.. Passion did it! but now all that was going to change! At last Big Fatso was getting his!.. Ah! how happy she was!.. really hilarious!..