He’s still wearing a Chinese robe but not the same flowered one.. this one’s yellow and red.. with ibises all over… He doesn’t take off his big hat.. he just sits there dreamily.. "Oh! Id la!" he mumbles… "Oh! Id la!" And then he gets sore again… he stands up in a fury… he goes for the bitch! Boy, oh boy! he shakes his umbrella over the slut’s head! she throws herself at his feet.. she writhes.. she crawls…
"Pepe! Get up!.. I’m ashamed of you!”
"I know, my beloved!.. I know!”
She kisses his robe, his shoes.. she’s overwhelmed.. convulsing with remorse!
"My darling!.. my darling!. my life!”
That’s what she calls him.
"Stand up!. Stand up!. you wretch!”
"Yes, I am a wretch! Oh! Yes! I’m damned!” she answers. "That’s what I am!” Shaky! sobbing..
It’s agonizing. it’s horrible..
"Go on, turn around!.. beg my pardon!”
She obeys.
She bends down on the other side..
He tucks up her rags.
"Look at that behind! that abomination, young man!”
He calls me to witness.. The kid’s come back, too.
She seesaws.. she undulates her fanny.. she wiggles her can..
"Oh! what an ugly ass!.. Isn’t it ugly, Monsieur?”
He’s saying it to me.
And whack! and whack!.. with his umbrella!.. and bang! a big kick in the rear end!. She goes bouncing into the roses!
… She’s still bawling, but not so loud, just little sobs now..
He rushes off, runs, rummages around on the other side.. behind the partition.. the faucet… he turns it on..
"Coming!.. Coming!” he yells.. And he’s back again!.. full of pep! He tucks her up again!.. oop! and the whole bucket of water! Splash! right in the can!.. He runs out again… he comes back, he’s starting all over. she’s lying there all stretched out on the floor.. her ass all bare..
"Deary! Deary!” she’s imploring him.
"Ass on fire!.. Ass on fire!.. There!.. Another one!”
He heaves! he splashes everything!.. the floor’s a pool!.. slushy!.. She’s floundering around.. wriggling in it… he slips.. he stumbles.. Boom!. he goes flying!. the bucket.. everything!.. his hat!.. he tumbles on her!.. He throws a fit!.. She busts out laughing!.. Ah! the slut!.. He tries to get up!.. ah! a fit! he flops again!.. he gets tangled in his robe!..She screams with laughter! All right then!..he’s wild with rage!.. He rips off everything!.. his robe!.. his jacket.. his coat.. he jumps around all naked!.. right on the spot! in a frenzy!
"She’ll drive me crazy!.. She’ll drive me crazy!”
He’s screaming it out.
"Get out of here!.. Get out of here! ”… he’s chasing her out.. "Get out of here!.. Never come back!”
She stands up again laughing away… she grabs the kid..
she goes to the door, all perked up, wiggling!. The tramp! she leaves with the cherub!
"Good day!” she yells. "Good day!”
He sits down, he’s whimpering, he’s puffing..
"Ah! young man, did you see that?.. You call that a life? Did you see that lunatic?”
He goes to slip on a pair of pants… He comes back… He’s still sighing.. I want some information.. Scenes aren’t everything!.. It would be a good thing to know what’s what..
"So China’s over?”
I repeat the question.
"China! China! what a notion! more than ever! ”
Ah! full confidence! all sure of himself!
He looks me over.
"Do you think I’ve been wasting my time? Don’t be silly?”
Really I’m stupid.
"Let’s get down to figures!. There are my calculations!”… He points to one of the trunks beneath the transom.. "Now let’s see!.. 25,000 pounds at least!.. We’ll know definitely in Calcutta!.. Well, let’s say 30,000 or so! not counting surprises!”
He interrupts himself.
"Pepe! Pepe!”. he’s calling her again.
He whispers to me very low, "She listens at doors!.. Beware!.. Beware of women and especially foreign ones! ”… He’s giving me advice.. "Sh! Sh!.. Never marry an American!”
He rummages around again in his rags.. in all his linings.. his beautiful robe, all torn up.. he pulls out a pack of newspapers… I see the Mirror among them… the Sketch.. I was already sure… I glance at the photos… the headlines. I take a look.. nothing in this one.. or that one! or the other one either!.. just war photos.. the Battle of the Somme… the prisoners, the barbed wire, Wilhelm II, burning planes, etc. Not a word about us! That’s amazing!.. they’ve dropped it. all of a sudden!.. They’ve stopped bothering about us!
.. completely! by magic! Sosthene’s not looking at the photos but at the classified ads.. he’s looking with a pencil.. he’s hunting for a heading.. not this one. not that one.. never the right one! he’s getting fidgety.. I can see he’s irritated.. he’s floundering around… he can’t read the ads..
“It’s not Chinese!” I kid him. ’I’ll help you!”
We’ve got to read the Times' the Times! he digs down again and pulls out the Times from another robe lying on the sofa.. Ah! here we are!.. Always at least ten pages of ads in the Times' squeezed together! and very small! Ah! something to work on! but what’s he looking for? He doesn’t tell me.. Columns and columns. Marriages.. Vacations. Help Wanted.. Situations.. What variety!
’’Are you looking for a job? What do you want?”
Investments.. It’s investments he’s looking for.. Capital.. Ah! he’s checking… he checks every line.. he’s getting excited.. crosses everywhere.. he’s writing down the sums, he’s getting worked up! He tries to read line by line. He’s botching it all up!.. I was better at it.. I figure it out as I go along.. He’s looking for a certain ad under Partnerships… He knows! someone told him.. he’s informing me.. Oh! in great demand!.. a certain ad. ’’You’ve got to scan the columns.”… and very closely… minutely! Partnerships! for babies’ bottles… for de luxe automobiles, elastic mattresses.. light garden furniture. children’s toys.. exporting of layettes. fountain pens. movie houses, at least a hundred!. sport goods! twelve breweries.. Ah! that’s it! here it is! a whole series! Gas masks!.. That’s what he’s looking for! Gas Mask Engineers. Wanted promptly young engineers.. That’s it! that’s for us!.. He’s quivering.. something for us!
. .For trial perfect gas masks. Very large profits expected.
Immediate premium 1,500 pounds. Partnership granted. War Department Order.. That’s for us all right!.. Colonel J.F.C. O’Collogham, 22 Willesden Mansions, W.l.
"Ah! the stars are with us!”
I think so! I think so! His confidence is getting me! I’m excited! Ah! right then and there! I'm getting worked up! Something at last!
I’ve never yet seen him so gay! all of a sudden with such go! blazing! the ads do him good! me, too! Ah! we’re sure happy!
"We’re approaching Gemini!”
That’s what he comes up with!
Jaunty whistling!
"But be careful!.. Let’s act!. <.Certain solstices last only two seconds! We must act!”
I want nothing better!
"Sh! Sh!”
Another mystery!
"Watch out for women! They mess up everything! They muddle up our slightest emanations. They perturb our destiny! I’m going to lock mine up! As soon as she gets back!.. What a slut!”
I was being warned!.. That was one thing!.. But what about Colonel O’Collogham and the gas masks?.. What the hell were we going to do at that guy's place?.. take his dough away? Partners? Where else were we going to kick around!