“We’d better get going,” Bailey said. “Your buddy Luis has got people to do and places to meet.”
Distracted, I slowly stood and picked up my purse. As we moved toward the elevator, Bailey looked at me. “Stand down, Knight, he’s not here.”
I shook my head. “That’s not it. I’ll tell you in the car.”
When Bailey’d finally navigated us onto the freeway and threaded her way through the tightly woven traffic into the fast lane, I told her about my creepy feeling of being watched.
She frowned. “Without something more concrete, I won’t be able to justify a security detail for you.”
“I’m not asking for one,” I replied. “I’m just sharing.”
“A little out of character for you, isn’t it, Knight?” Bailey smirked. “This ‘sharing’ thing?”
The offhand remark hit home. I stared at the carpet of red lights that spread out before us. My seat belt suddenly felt too tight. I pulled it away from my chest and took a deep breath. I didn’t want to tell her about Romy and the real reason for my breakup with Graden, but I hadn’t anticipated that I’d feel this bad about keeping it all from her.
Soon it’d be Christmas, then New Year’s Eve. A bad time to be dealing with a recent breakup for anyone. For me, that misery landed on top of the agony that always burned tight and furious during the holidays over the loss of Romy, my mother, and my father.
“Bailey…,” I began, and had to stop. My throat was swollen with emotion, and the strangled sound made her turn to look at me with alarm.
“Yeah? What? You okay?”
Suddenly the air around me felt like deep space; I was floating alone and untethered through a dark, endless sky. Desperate to escape the icy purgatory, without having made a conscious decision, I began to talk.
“There’s something I have to tell you. I had an older sister, Romy…”
The clot of humanity that filled the freeway ensured that I had plenty of time to tell the whole story, including the fight with Graden.
I stared straight ahead as I spoke, eyes fixed on the sea of cars ahead, aware in the back of my mind that I’d have hell to pay for keeping this secret after so many years of friendship. Bailey let me talk without interruption.
“Bailey, I’m sorry,” I said when I’d come to the end. Finally I turned to face her. “I know I should’ve-”
What I saw brought me to a full stop. Bailey’s cheeks were wet with tears. I couldn’t remember ever having seen her cry. After a moment, she spoke.
“Telling me this when I’m driving, you’re lucky you didn’t get us killed.” She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.
“So that’s why I broke up with Graden.”
“I get it.” Then, proving she knew me all too well, she continued, “And, no, I don’t think you’re nuts. I wouldn’t like the idea of someone tromping around in my past trying to find out shit about me either.”
The relief was almost dizzying. Bailey wasn’t angry. Not only that, she understood. Until this very moment, I hadn’t realized how much it’d cost me to keep this secret from her.
Bailey nodded to herself. “So I get it. But all he did was google you,” she said quietly. “He didn’t do a deep background check.” She paused. “You don’t think you overreacted…just a little?”
I folded my arms around myself and stared out the window. The moon was just a ghostly apparition in a sky still infused with the last stubborn rays of sunlight. Exhausted by the emotional strain of the past half hour, I let myself get mesmerized by the sight for a moment. But when I tried to rationally consider Bailey’s question, I couldn’t come up with an answer. I didn’t know how to measure my reaction objectively.
“Obviously, googling me isn’t the same as running a background check. But you didn’t do it, and neither did Toni…did you?”
“No, I didn’t. And neither did Toni. But we’re not Graden-”
“Exactly my point,” I said emphatically. “That’s the problem. This was about his need for control, not his concern for me.”
“Can’t it be both?” Bailey continued. “Graden’s need to know everything and your…issue with boundaries is a challenge. But it doesn’t have to mean the end. Unless you say it does.”
“Or he says so,” I added.
“He doesn’t,” Bailey replied.
I turned to look at her.
“I didn’t talk to him,” Bailey said. “I didn’t have to. I’ve seen him. That’s enough.”
Bailey never lies, so I believed her when she said she hadn’t spoken to Graden. But whether she was right about him not wanting to break up…that was another matter.
Not that I cared.
54
We were fifteen minutes late getting to Les Sisters, which meant we were still way ahead of Luis. The New Orleans-style restaurant in Chatsworth, at the northern tip of the San Fernando Valley, had been around for twenty-five years. Famous among those in the know for serving up some of the best Southern-style cooking this side of the Mason-Dixon Line, it would fit the bill for us in more ways than one. Aside from the killer food, the prices were reasonable, the people were great, and it was way off the beaten path, so we wouldn’t risk being seen together, which would’ve been bad for the shot-caller of a gang and not so great for a prosecutor either.
We took a table against the window in the tiny café and picked up the menu. Fried chicken, chicken creole, crawfish jambalaya, baby back ribs…I wanted to eat it all. Watching the waitstaff bring out steaming-hot plates heaped with all of the above didn’t help. We ordered the “hush pups” and Cajun popcorn for appetizers, and I told myself I’d order only a green salad for dinner. I tell myself things like that a lot.
I was on my fourth hush pup when Luis swaggered in and shuffled over to our table with a lazy grin. Dressed in a black leather coat, baggy jeans, and skull-stud earrings, he appeared more debonair than usual. Which wasn’t to say he didn’t look like a gangbanger-just one who was slightly more upscale.
“Hola, Ms. Prosecutor, Ms. Policía,” he greeted us, folding himself into the padded metal chair and stretching out his legs.
Luis always managed to look like he was kickin’ it in his living room. Even when he was cuffed in the back of a squad car.
The waitress’s smile told me it hadn’t been long since Luis was last here. So did his order. Without even looking at the menu, he ordered the rib combo with corn muffins, black-eyed peas with rice, and another plate of hush pups.
Bailey got the fried chicken and creamy slaw, and I ordered a green salad…and the fried chicken. Screw it, I was under stress.
“You still working on your GED?” I asked.
“Finished it.” Luis sniffed with pride. “Got into Los Angeles Community College. Startin’ in January.”
“That’s fantastic, Luis,” I said, truly impressed. I’d known he intended to earn his high school diploma and get into college, but sometimes intentions and reality don’t mix.
“Din’t think I could do it, huh?” he asked, his head tilted back, looking down his nose at me.
“Oh, I knew you could do it,” I replied. “I just didn’t know if you would.”
I smiled at him and raised my glass of water. He and Bailey lifted theirs, and we all clinked. “Congratulations,” I said. Luis looked pleased with himself as he nodded, then took a sip of water.
“So does this mean you’re not in the life anymore?” I asked.
Luis looked away, then back again. “Don’ you think it’s a bad idea for me to be talkin’ to you about that?” he said, an eyebrow raised.
“Usually,” I admitted. “Though if I was going to make something of it, I wouldn’t do it in this place, would I?”