They passed dozens of men and women, most carrying baskets of food or laundry, and some leading mules laden with more of the same. Servants filtered quietly in and out of the rear doors of the proud houses on the right while elderly couples lingered on the dusty stoops of the old rowhouses on the left. Lorenzo felt their eyes on him, on his clothes, on his pale skin. He would have hurried past them all, but Qhora’s short legs kept him plodding along far slower than he would have liked.
After a quarter hour of crossing side streets and studying Mazigh street signs, they found the butcher’s shop. The butcher was not very busy and when his last customer had been served he listened to Lorenzo’s request with a confused frown twisting the whole bottom half of his face down. But he shrugged and pointed them down a short hall and then down a spiral stair to a heavy door. The metal handle on the door was cold, so cold it stung Lorenzo’s bare fingers.
Inside they found a storage room ten feet wide and twenty feet deep. The walls glistened black and silver where the blocks of ice had been stacked floor to ceiling and the moment they stepped inside their breath curled and floated in a pale vapor around their lips. A dozen huge carcasses hung from hooks in the ceiling and the racks along the walls held a variety of sport fish and exotic game birds from countries far to the east and south. Lorenzo thought he recognized a feather here or a fin there, but no names came to mind.
There was nowhere to sit except the stone floor, which was stained over and over again with the bits of flesh and blood that had fallen from the meat. Lorenzo led Qhora to the back corner where there was some space between the hanging carcasses and the wall. And they stood there.
The cold was invigorating. It stung his lips and wind pipe and lungs. It sharpened his vision even as it slowed his pulse. A thousand fragments of childhood memories crashed against his waking mind: a toy dropped in the snow, sledge tracks by the river, icicles on the cathedral roof, snowflakes on his gloves and sleeves, sliding down a hill, and the warm embrace of the fire when he came back inside the house.
Lorenzo exhaled slowly, focusing on the spiraling wisps of vapor under his nose. He knew they wouldn’t be able to stay long down here. Qhora had buried her hands in her armpits and was pressing her lips together tightly, trying not shiver.
He closed his eyes and turned his thoughts to the divine, to the existence and purpose of the soul, to the meaning of righteousness, to sacrifice, to duty, to balance and purpose and purity and every other high-minded word he had ever heard an entire sermon about.
“Enzo?” Qhora’s whisper shuddered through her trembling lips.
He opened his eyes.
Dona Ariella Espinoza de Cordoba stood beside them. The ghost was as insubstantial as smoke, yet every detail of her serene face and centuries-old dress was sharp and distinct. She appeared, as always, a plain-faced woman of middle age, short but straight-backed, with thin humorless lips but wide smiling eyes. It was a face that could comfort even as it disapproved. Lorenzo glanced from the dead nun to the living woman beside him.
Qhora studied the ghost impassively without a trace of fear of surprise on her face. “Hello, Sister Ariel. It’s very nice to meet you.” If her voice wavered, it was only a tremor from the cold of the meat locker.
“Hello, Lady Qhora. Hello, Lorenzo.” The ghost’s whisper cut the air like a razor.
“Sister.” Lorenzo bowed his head.
“You’ve chosen a strange place to pray.” A hint of a smile played at the corner of the dead nun’s mouth as her gaze swept the room and its contents. “But strange times may call for strange places, I suppose. You looked troubled, Lorenzo. You think we’re going to have a fight, don’t you? Lady Qhora and I?”
Lorenzo shrugged. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to say. That’s why I came here today. I had to see you, to ask your guidance again.”
“Oh, you poor boy. There’s nothing I could say that I haven’t already said a dozen times before.”
“I just…I just feel so lost. So torn.” He swallowed and stole a look at Qhora. “I know I have to give up so many worldly things to follow in your footsteps, but my heart doesn’t want to. I don’t want to live without Qhora. And I don’t know how to live except by fencing. It’s all I know, all I’m good at. I know I’m just being afraid and selfish and weak, but…”
“Hush, Lorenzo.” Ariel turned to Qhora. “My Lady, I’m sorry it has taken so long for us to meet, but circumstances do not allow me to come and go as I once did.”
“I suppose not,” Qhora said. A shiver ran through her and she recrossed her arms. “I really didn’t think I would see…you. A ghost, I mean.”
“I know you didn’t. But Lorenzo is as sane as everyone else in our country. The souls of the dead may only be seen in the deep cold and only by a cold light. Even then, the soul must come and make itself seen, and even then, the witness must be willing to see it. I imagine that ghosts are seen throughout the northern world, but only where the people have an understanding of the afterlife.” Ariel clasped her silvery hands in front of her. “But I don’t want to keep you two down here in this place any longer than needs be. Lorenzo?”
“Yes, Sister?”
“I will say this as plainly as I can.” The serious little line of her mouth softened with the appearance of lips, and her eyes suddenly looked quite old and tired. “I was not the paragon of virtue that you think I was. I performed good works and I served the church as I was instructed, but always with fear and doubt. I respected the Mother’s commandments to preserve life, but as a nun I never created any life myself. In fact, I never really cared for children. So much noise, so much dirt, so much worry. I respected the Son’s commandments to show compassion and mercy, but as a nun I was almost as penniless and lonely as the beggars I cared for. It took little effort to pity them as I pitied myself. But worst of all, I did not respect the Father’s commandments to observe the law and seek justice. I sheltered all manners of criminals, knowing full well what they were, and I sent the police away. I think I was too afraid of the criminals. It was just easier to look the other way, to not get involved. I sacrificed justice to keep my house quiet. I chose the easy road.”
Lorenzo stared at her, frowning, wanting to interrupt, wanting to correct her and to argue with her, but he was lost for words. Slowly, the thought formed in his mind: If she could live such a holy life and still be so far from grace, what chance do I have? He glanced around for a few moments until the queasiness in his stomach died down and he said, “What does that mean for me?”
“It means, poor Lorenzo, that you still have the potential to live a life that is far better than mine ever was.”
He blinked. “How is that possible?”
Ariel nodded at Qhora. “Marry your beloved and have children. God is a creator and sustainer of life. Having children is pleasing to the Mother, especially if you raise them properly. Uphold and enforce the law. Go on serving Prince Valero.”
“As a fencing instructor?”
Ariel gestured toward his espada. “How many men have you killed since we first met?”
“None.”
Qhora looked at him sharply. “None? What about the robbers in Tingis?”
“I slashed their hands and struck them unconscious. It’s easy if you know where to hit,” he said sheepishly. “They probably woke up a few minutes after we left.”
“Yes,” Ariel said. “And you merely disarmed the bandit on the highway, just as you disarmed the woman in white at the marketplace. And you refrained from killing her at the train station. You even offered her alternative punishments. You are not afraid to fight for the law, but you fight with your mind as well as your sword. In fact, few men could do what you do. Destreza is the study of the skillful sword, not the blind sword or the murdering sword or the cruel sword. And you are a master diestro. The youngest in decades.”