I was a total mess.
Kain dropped down in front of me. “Dammit, Alex! What were you doing? You should have never been that close to me!”
“Yeah,” I groaned. Breathe through it. Just breathe through it. Easier said than done, but I kept tel ing myself that. I expected Aiden to launch into a major tirade, but he didn’t say a word to me. Instead he walked up and jerked Kain up by the scruff of his neck, nearly holding him off the ground.
“Practice is over.”
Kain’s mouth dropped open and his normal y tanned skin paled. “But—”
“Apparently you don’t understand.” His voice sounded low and dangerous.
I stumbled to my feet. “Aiden, it’s my fault. I leaned in.” I didn’t have to elaborate; it was obvious what I’d done wrong.
Aiden looked over his shoulder at me. A few terse seconds later, he released Kain. “Go.”
Kain straightened his shirt while he backed up. When he turned to me, his sea-green eyes were wide. “Alex, I’m sorry.”
I waved one hand at him. “No biggie.”
Aiden stepped in front of me, dismissing Kain without so much of another word. “Let me take a look at it.”
“Oh… it’s okay.” I turned away from him. My eyes burned, but not because of the throbbing pain. I wanted to sit down and cry. I’d walked right into the kick. A child wouldn’t have made such a mistake. It was that lame.
He placed a surprisingly gentle hand on my shoulder and turned me back around. The look on his face said he understood my embarrassment. “It’s okay, Alex.” When I didn’t move, he took a step back. “You grabbed your back. I need to make sure you’re okay.”
Seeing no way out of this, I fol owed Aiden to one of the smal er rooms where they kept medical supplies. It was a cold, sterile room like any doctor’s office with the exception of the painting of Aphrodite in al her naked glory, which I found odd and a little disturbing.
“Get up on the table.”
I wanted nothing more than to run back to my room and sulk in privacy, but I did what he said.
Aiden came back to me, his gaze fixed above my head.
“How does your stomach feel?”
“Okay.”
“Why did you grab your back?”
“It’s sore.” I rubbed my hands over my thighs. “I feel like a dork.”
“You’re not a dork.”
“I am. I should’ve been paying attention. I walked right into the kick. It wasn’t Kain’s fault.”
He seemed to consider that. “I’ve never seen you so distracted.”
For the last month, we’d had eight-hour training days, and I guess during that time he’d seen a lot of things from me. But I’d never been this unfocused.
“You can’t afford to be so distracted,” he continued gently. “You’re coming along remarkably wel , but you don’t have time to lose. It’s almost July and that leaves us about two months to get you caught up. Your uncle has been requesting weekly reports. Don’t think he’s forgotten about you.”
Ful of shame and disappointment, my eyes dropped down to my hands. “I know.”
Aiden placed his fingers on my chin, guiding my head up.
“Why are you so distracted, Alex? You move like you haven’t slept and you’re acting as if your mind’s a mil ion miles from here. If it’s not the party last night, is it a guy who has you distracted?”
I cringed. “Look. There are several things I’m not discussing with you. Guys are one of them.”
Aiden’s eyes widened. “Real y? If it’s interfering with your training, then it’s interfering with me.”
”Jeez.” I shifted uncomfortably under his intense stare.
“There is no guy. I have no guy.”
He fel silent, watching me curiously. Those eyes had a calming effect, and even though I knew this was dumb, so stupid, I took a deep breath. “I saw Grandma Piperi last night.”
It seemed that Aiden expected me to say anything but that. While his face was impassive as ever, his eyes seemed to deepen. “And?”
“And Lea was right—”
“Alex,” he cut me off. “Don’t go there. You’re not
“Alex,” he cut me off. “Don’t go there. You’re not responsible.”
“She was right and wrong at the same time.” I stopped, sighing at the dubious look on Aiden’s face. “Grandma Piperi wouldn’t tel me everything. Actual y, she told me a bunch of crazy stuff about love and need… and gods kissing. Anyway, she told me that I would kil the one I loved, but how is that possible? Mom is already dead.”
An odd look flickered over his face, but it was gone before I could figure out what it was. “I thought you said you didn’t believe in that kind of stuff.”
Of course, he would remember that out of the bil ion random comments I’d made. “I don’t, but it’s not every day you’re told that you’re going to kil someone you love.”
“So this is what’s been bothering you today?”
I squeezed my thighs. “Yes. No. I mean, do you think it was my fault?”
“Oh, Alex.” He shook his head. “Do you remember when you asked me why I volunteered to train you?”
“Yeah.”
He pushed away from the table I sat on. “Wel , I lied to you.”
“Yeah.” I bit my lip and looked away. “I kinda figured that out already.”
“You have?” He sounded surprised.
“You stood up for me because of what happened to your parents.” I stole a peek at him. He was quiet as he watched me. “I think I remind you of yourself when it happened.”
Aiden stared at me for an eternal second. “You’re far more observant than I give you credit for.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t share the fact I’d only figured that out recently.
That lopsided grin appeared. “You’re right, if that makes you feel any better. I remember what it was like afterward.
You always wonder if there was anything you could’ve done differently, as pointless as it is, but you get hung up on the
‘what if’ of it al .” The smile disappeared slowly and he turned his face away. “For the longest time, I used to think if I had decided to be a Sentinel earlier, I could’ve stopped the daimon.”
“But you didn’t know a daimon was going to attack. You were—are—a pure-blood. So very few of you even…
choose this life. And you were just a kid. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
Aiden faced me then, gaze curious. “Then how can you hold yourself responsible for what happened to your mom?
You may have realized there was a possibility that a daimon would find you, but you didn’t know.”
“Yeah.” I hated it when he was right.
“You’re stil holding onto that guilt. So much so that you’re reading into what the oracle said. You can’t let what she said get to you, Alex. An oracle only talks in possibilities, not facts.”
“I thought an oracle talks with gods and the fates,” I said dryly.
He looked doubtful. “An oracle sees into the past and the possibility in the future, but it’s not set in stone. There is no such thing as a certain fate. Only you are in control of your fate. You aren’t responsible for what… happened to your mom. You need to let it go.”
“Why do you al say it like that? No one says she died.
Everyone is, like, afraid to say that. It’s not what happened—she was kil ed.”
The shadow appeared on his face again, but he stepped around the table. “Let me look at your back.” Before I knew what he was doing, he lifted the back of my shirt and inhaled sharply.
“What?” I asked, but he didn’t say anything. He tugged my shirt up further. “Hey—what are you doing?” I smacked his hands away.
He shot around the table, his eyes a gunmetal gray.