After asking around, I finally found where Debra and the kids were bedded down and joined them as quietly as possible. I carefully lay down, trying not to wake Debra, but I should have known better.
“I heard it was pretty bad,” she whispered.
“Yeah.” An image of Jenna’s lifeless form came to mind, the way her head lolled as we loaded her corpse into the truck on the way back, the smell of blood and death, the knowledge that it was no longer a person, just a sack of meat. “It was bad.” I shuddered and quickly suppressed the image, but my wife knew me well.
She snuggled up behind me as I lay on my side and slipped an arm over my shoulder to gently stroke my chest. She pressed her head up against my back and briefly kissed the back of my neck. “Would it help to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “Not now. Maybe later, but I can’t right now.” Fearing she might feel I was shutting her out, I added, “I’m sorry, babe, but I have to figure out how to deal with it on my own. It was a mess, and there’s probably going to be worse tomorrow.”
Her hand stopped. “What do you mean?”
I sighed. I hadn’t meant to get into it, but it wouldn’t be fair to keep her wondering now that I had mentioned it. “We found where they’ve got everyone, and Sarah got inside.”
“And?” Her tone told me she knew at least part of the rest.
“And we think she’s going to try to bust them out.”
“When?”
“Best guess is either tomorrow night or the next.”
She was silent for a few seconds. “You have to go back?”
“Yeah. They’ll never make it without help.”
“And it has to be you?” She started to sound upset. “It can’t be someone else, some other group? Haven’t you done enough?”
“Not this time. I know where she went in and what the situation is like there.”
“So write it down. I heard about some of what happened tonight. I don’t like the idea of you going out there again!”
I rolled over to face her and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She sounded angry, but it was evident that the anger was simply a manifestation of her fear and concern. “I have to, Debra. I’m the only one that can this time.”
“Why! Why only you?”
“Because I know exactly where she went in, and I know where Larry’s men are positioned in the area. I’m the one that talked Wayne Kelley into risking his life to mix up any explosives I could find a recipe for, and I’m the one who knows how to use them.” That was not strictly true, as I had only read military reports and directions, but that was more than anyone else had done.
She gripped my shirt in her fist and tugged. “So what? Tell them what to do and let someone else-”
Pulling her close, I wrapped my arms around her and just held her tight, as she buried her face in my chest and sobbed herself silently to sleep. Minutes later, I followed her into an uneasy slumber.
“Leeland?”
I awoke instantly, not that I had slept well. Jenna’s face had kept popping up in my dreams, her dead eyes accusing, haunting.
“Leeland?” Wayne’s voice again. I also noticed the strong smell of… chlorine?
“Jeez, Wayne! What’s that smell?” I whispered to keep from waking Debra.
“How can you smell anything over your own stench?” she murmured, obviously no longer asleep. Having slept with her head in the crook of my arm, she was intimately acquainted with my stench.
Wayne’s voice answered from the darkness. “Your recipes seem to leave some interesting by-product while they’re being mixed.”
I perked up. “You did it?”
“It’s in one of the jeeps. Ready to go.”
I rubbed my eyes and sat up, noticing how little activity there was. “What time is it?”
“It’s about five thirty in the morning,” he answered. “Jim and Ken are waiting on you in the office.”
Debra sat up beside me and sighed. “You’re going, aren’t you?”
“I have to.”
The expression on her face must have told Wayne that this was an awkward moment. He cleared his throat. “Uh, I’d better get back. I’ll see you there.” He left in an obvious hurry to distance himself from us.
I turned back to Debra and sat up to face her, working through the aches and pains shooting up my spine. “You know I have to.”
She lowered her eyes. “I don’t have to like it, though.”
“Yeah. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t exactly look forward to it, either. Truth of the matter is, the idea scares the hell out of me.”
“Good! Maybe you’ll be careful enough to get back, then.”
“I’ll be back.” I reached out and wistfully touched her cheek. “You think you can get rid of me that easily?”
I was taken aback when she slapped my hand away. “Don’t joke!” she hissed angrily. The kids slept a few feet away, oblivious. We both wanted to keep it that way. “You always joke this stuff off, and it isn’t funny, damn it! It isn’t funny!” She stood and stepped away from me, glaring through tear-filled eyes.
I dropped my hand and swallowed. “I know. It’s just me.” I didn’t know what else to say. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded acceptance, but there was no way she would ever be happy about the situation. “Just go.”
I didn’t want to leave like that, but if Ken and Jim were waiting on me, things must have been about ready for the mission.
Some corner of my mind noted how funny it was that I had started thinking in military terms. Just like Jim said, “A grown man dressed up like GI Joe, playing at war.” The rest of my mind was on my wife. She stood just out of my reach, her anger flaring once more. I couldn’t leave like this. “Debra?”
She must have seen the question in my eyes, for her expression softened. “Go ahead, Lee. I’ll be okay.”
I dropped my gaze, understanding that this was all she could give me for now.
As I started to stand, my aches and pains became almost crippling. The simple act of getting to my feet abruptly became a painful process. Besides aching as I did from the previous day’s activities, I was stiff from getting too little sleep afterward on a cold concrete floor. Suddenly, I felt Debra at my side holding my arm, helping me stumble to my feet. She took mercy on me and hugged me. Then, she pushed me back. “Just make sure you come back in one piece.”
A lump in my throat choked off my answer, so I just nodded, turned, and headed back to Jim’s office.
I walked through the office door to find Wayne asleep on an ancient sofa that someone had dragged in. Ken stood in a corner on the other side of the room. He turned when he saw me, nodded, and went back to what he was doing. A few seconds later, he walked over and handed me a hot cup of something that smelled like coffee. Better yet, it actually tasted like coffee. I sighed contentedly. “Pure, unadulterated heaven!”
I saw how bloodshot his eyes were as he shook his head. “Nope. Just Colombian roast. Jim found some in a cabinet. Thought we might need some to help get us going.”
“Going?”
Jim walked in from the back, his own steaming cup in hand. I noticed the area around his left eye was now a deep blue. I winced at the thought that I had done that to him. Jim didn’t seem to notice it, though, as he picked up on the conversation. “Yep, you’re leavin’. Y’all need to be in position before sunrise, else you’re gonna be too easy to spot goin’ in.”
My shoulders slumped at the thought. “Already? Damn, Jim, I’m so tired I can hardly see straight.”
Jim laughed. “Hell, Leeland, at least you got a couple of hours. Me and Wayne have been workin’ all night.”