“Beth, I’d take on Megatron’s army to protect you.”
“Who?”
Xavier shook his head and laughed.
“I keep forgetting we have different reference points. Let’s just say, I’m not scared of four little punks.”
Xavier didn’t know much about angels, but he knew about people. He knew what they wanted far better than I did and therefore could better judge who to trust and who to keep at a safe distance. I knew that Ivy and Gabriel still worried about the ramifications of our relationship, but I felt that Xavier supplied me with a strength and belief in myself that made me stronger for whatever my role in our mission was meant to be. Although he didn’t really understand the nature of our job on earth, he was suddenly conscious of not distracting me from it. At the same time, his concern for my well-being bordered on obsession as he worried about even the littlest things, like my energy level.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I reminded him one day in the cafeteria. “Despite what Gabriel thinks, I can take care of myself.”
“I’m just doing my job,” he replied. “By the way, have you had lunch today?”
“I’m not hungry. Gabriel always cooks a big breakfast.”
“Here, eat this,” he commanded and pushed a health bar across the table. As an athlete, he always seemed to have an endless supply at any given time. The label told me this one contained cashews, coconut, apricots, and seeds.
“I can’t eat this; it’s got birdseed in it!”
“Those are sesame seeds and they’re full of energy. I don’t want you burning out.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because your blood sugar is probably low — so don’t argue.”
Sometimes it was easier not to argue with Xavier when his objective was taking care of me.
“All right, Mother,” I said, biting into the chewy bar. “By the way, this tastes like cardboard.”
I rested my head on his strong tanned arms, reassured as always by his solidity.
“Sleepy?” he asked.
“Phantom snored right through the night, and I didn’t have the heart to kick him out.”
Xavier sighed and patted my head. “You’re too nice for your own good sometimes. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve only taken one bite out of that bar. Now eat up.”
“Xavier, please, someone might hear you!”
He picked up the bar and waved it through the air making a whistling noise with his mouth. “It’ll be a lot more embarrassing if we have to start playing airplanes.”
“What’s airplanes?”
“A game mothers play to get stubborn children to eat.”
I laughed, and he seized the opportunity of flying the health bar straight into my mouth.
Xavier loved to tell stories about his family and I loved to listen. Whenever he spoke, I found myself enormously distracted by him. Lately his anecdotes revolved around his eldest sister’s upcoming wedding. I often interrupted with questions, hungry for the details he omitted. What color were the bridesmaids’ dresses? What was the name of the young cousin who had been recruited as ring bearer? Who was in favor of a band over a string quartet? Would the bride’s shoes be white satin? Whenever he couldn’t answer, he would promise to find out for me.
As I ate, Xavier explained how his mother and sister were currently butting heads over the wedding arrangements. His sister Claire wanted a ceremony in the local botanical gardens, but his mother said it was too “primitive.” The Woods family were parishioners of Saint Mark’s, and had a long-standing association with the church. Mrs. Woods wanted the wedding held there. During the recent spat, she had threatened not to attend at all if it wasn’t going to be celebrated in a House of God. According to her, vows not exchanged in a sanctified place weren’t even valid. So they’d compromised — the ceremony would be held at the church and the reception at a beachside pavilion. Xavier chuckled as he told me the story, amused by the irrational antics of the females in his family. I couldn’t help thinking how well his mother would get along with Gabriel.
Sometimes I felt removed from this part of Xavier’s life. It was like he was living a double life: one he shared with his family and friends, and then his deep attachment to me.
“Do you ever think we don’t belong together?” I asked, propping my chin on my hands and trying to read his face.
“No, I don’t,” he said without a second’s hesitation. “Do you?”
“Well, I know this wasn’t supposed to happen. Someone upstairs slipped up big time.”
“We are not a mistake,” Xavier insisted.
“No, but I’m saying that we’ve gone against fate. This wasn’t what they planned for us.”
“I’m glad about the mix-up, aren’t you?”
“I am for me. ..”
“But?”
“But I don’t want to become a burden for you.”
“You’re not a burden. You’re infuriating sometimes and you don’t listen to advice, but you’re never a burden.”
“I am not infuriating.”
“I forgot to add that you aren’t the best judge of character either, including your own.”
I ruffled his hair, relishing its silkiness on my fingers. “Do you think your family would like me?” I asked.
“Of course. They trust my judgment about most things.”
“Yes, but what if they thought I’m weird.”
“They’re not like that, but why don’t you find out? Come over and meet them this weekend. I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“I’m not sure,” I hedged. “I’m not comfortable around new people.”
“They’re not new,” he said. “I’ve known them my whole life.”
“I meant new to me.”
“They’re a part of who I am, Beth. It’d mean a lot to me if they got to meet you. They’ve heard enough about you.”
“What have you told them?”
“Just how good you are.”
“I’m not that good or we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“Girls who are all good have never really appealed to me. So you’ll come?’
“I’ll think about it.”
I had hoped he would ask and I wanted to say yes but part of me feared feeling different from them. After what I’d heard about his conservative mother, I didn’t want to be judged. Xavier read my face.
“What’s the problem?” he asked.
“If your mother’s religious, she might recognize a fallen angel when she sees one.” It sounded pretty stupid once I’d said it aloud.
“You aren’t a fallen angel. Do you have to be so melodramatic?”
“I’m fallen compared to Ivy and Gabriel.”
“Well, I hardly think my mother’s going to notice. I had to face the God squad, remember? And I didn’t try to squirm my way out of it.”
“You have a point there.”
“Then it’s settled. I’ll pick you up Saturday around five. Your lit class is about to start — I’ll walk over with you.”
As I was gathering my books, a peal of thunder echoed through the cafeteria and the sunlight streaming through the windows vanished. The sky had darkened and was threatening rain. We had all known the blissful spring weather wouldn’t last, but it was disappointing just the same. The rainy season could be bitter along this part of the coast.
“The rain’s about to hit,” Xavier observed looking at the skies.
“Good-bye, sun,” I moaned.
No sooner had I spoken than the first fat drops began to fall. The skies opened and soon rain was falling in steady sheets, drumming on the cafeteria roof. I watched students sprinting across the quad, shielding their faces with folders. A couple of junior girls stood in the open, allowing themselves to be drenched and laughing hysterically. They would be in trouble when they finally turned up to class soaked. I saw Gabriel heading to the music wing, a troubled expression on his face. The umbrella he held was slanted by the strong wind that had blown up.