Like a schmuck, I didn’t even call her. Shit came up this week with my brother, and I kept thinking I’d call her soon. Well, soon enough and it has been days. Never fails—never fucking fails. Ryan’s been screwing up my whole life, yet, I swear one of these days, he’s gonna get his shit together and I’ll be free from being his goddamn caretaker. I’ve lived with this since I was a teenager, and I still don’t comprehend how in the hell he let himself not only fall into our dad’s drunken footsteps, but stagger the whole fucking way behind him.
With Mom gone now and Dad dying of liver failure, I’m all that Ryan has. We should be able to lean on each other, but that’s just not possible. It’s hard to lean on someone who can hardly stand on his own, isn’t it? Three months ago, Ry had been clean and sober. Stint numero quatro in rehab had seemed to be working, and all I could do was pray that this time it stuck.
It didn’t. Exactly twenty-three days ago, I was hit with the reality that he hadn’t only had a drink, but had downed a whole bottle of Wild Turkey. That night I spent with him beside the goddamn bathtub just to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.
Sad reality is? I’d seen my mother spend many nights like that next to my father when I was a teen. Ryan had witnessed it too. Not that it helped steer him away from the bottle. That leads us to where we are now. Ryan is the whole reason I moved back. I had a good job and a pretty decent life, but when Ry starting going back to drown in the bottom of the bottle, I came home. I came to help him, to take care of him, to…I don’t even know him anymore. I’ve never given up faith that Ry could get his shit back together but now? Now, I just don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Getting my job back at Pinkies and meeting Skye have been my highlights since coming home. Made a man—me, made me think that coming back hadn’t been such a bad thing. Now, I’ve probably fucked that up already. I’m not one of those kinda guys to play games with women. Not that she’d believe me now since it’s been almost a week since I said I would call.
Glancing over at Ryan passed out on the couch; I’ve never wanted to cold-cock him more. Not one fucking care in the world that his booze couldn’t solve. Not a one. He didn’t care that he was fucking with my life as well as his own. No, the fucker didn’t care about shit that didn’t involve a shot glass.
I know he’s sick, I know the fucking disease has taken over his life, but it’s now taking over mine. Looking at him as he sleeps off his last bender, Ryan almost looks normal; he looks okay, but I know it’s all bullshit. Knowing that I’d just pulled him outta the tub after spraying his own puke off his clothing tells me that he’s far from okay. This has to stop.
Ry’s hitting the booze harder than our father ever did, and that man is on his deathbed. Ryan could be there soon enough too. And, that scares the hell outta me. We’re brothers, and not only that, but he’s the last family I have left. Dad’s been dead to me for years, and Mom passed just over seven years ago from an aneurysm.
When Ryan wakes up this time, we are going to get this shit figured out. I refuse to help him out of his puke soaked clothing for the rest of my life. He’s going back into treatment, but this time he’s not coming home after a month. Nope, either he goes long term, or I’m outta here, and he can kill himself on his own time without an audience.
Now, I’m still confused about what to do with Skye. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I want to spend more time with her, but I don’t want to bring poison into her life—poison that is my alcoholic older brother. She doesn’t need that—any of that.
God, the way she smiles and the whole room lights up still bowls me over. I’ve yet to meet a more vibrant woman. The last thing she needs is my family tainting her, and Ry is the only family I have left I can’t give up on him just yet. That day is getting closer and closer. However, if I wait that long before going after Skye, it’ll be too late. Honestly? I don’t want to wait, I really don’t.
Fairly certain I can keep my lives separate, I decide there’s no way I’m waiting. When the day comes that I want to introduce my woman to my brother, I can only hope that Ry’s a full man again and not this empty shell of vile shit that reeks.
Decision made…tomorrow, I will call Skye and hope she’s not too pissed at me. Tomorrow, I will get Ry’s ass back into treatment where he belongs. My first day back at Pinkies is tomorrow as well. Jesus, my life has become a series of tomorrows, and I’m so fucking over it already.
**Skye**
My shift ends in just under two hours and forty-five minutes. Ugh…fucking finally. This has seriously been one long ass week. I’ve been in my townhome for almost a week now, and I love it. Mandy’s asked me to pick-up two of her shifts since Wednesday. I’m so over this diner that it’s not even funny. Forty-seven hours and need I remind you that this is only supposed to be a part-time job? Part-time, my ass. I’m exhausted, and I have to work at the club tonight.
My phone hasn’t stopped buzzing today. Jaden. Fucking Jaden. That’s just another shit storm of what-the-fuck-ever. What he wants with me is beyond confusing, but everyday he’s called or texted. One day, he showed up during the lunch rush. I had no time to deal with him, and I traded Sherry three of her tables just for his. Pawning him off may have been the coward’s way out, but I couldn’t really give a crap.
Jesus, just thinking of our phone sex has me blushing. I mean, come on. What does he think of me? First, I’m just some fat chick he insulted and stole fries from. Then, I’m some broad that he didn’t even have to pay four ninety-nine a minute to masturbate to. Class act—real class act I am, huh?
My phone buzzes again and I look at the screen and it clearly says “message from Asshole,” yup, that would be Jaden. Curiosity has me reading it.
Jaden: You either come to the gym today or I’ll meet you at Pinkies tonight.
Shit! I don’t need to deal with him at work, but the thought of Charlie handing him his own ass on a platter entertains me.
Skye: I’m leaving early tonight. I’ll stop by around ten-thirty.
Jaden: Perfect.
I don’t know if I’m mad at him for being such a pretentious jerk or at myself for giving into him. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m thinking that tonight we get a few things straight. Whatever our phone-sex thing even was is done. Not. Happening. Again. I’m just going to march into that damn gym and act like I know what the hell I am doing. Jaden can just accept what I’m going to say.
Two hours later, and the place is dead. Mandy finally made it in for one of her shifts this week. Doing my Friday night ritual, I slink into the restroom to change out of my uniform and wiggle into my jeans…I’m thinking they must’ve shrunk in the dryer…again. Anyhow, I change into my faded Seven jeans, and tonight I rock a Pinkies black and pink t-shirt. Letting my hair fall from the tight bun it’s been in all day—practically all week, it feels amazing as the stinging subsides. Darkening my makeup and finger combing my hair, I’ve transformed in a matter of minutes.
Stopping at my car, I toss my backpack inside and lock the doors again before starting toward Jaden’s gym. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do curse myself the whole damn way across the diner’s parking lot. I continue to curse myself as I make it across the street between the oncoming traffic. Taking one last deep breath, I pull the door open and step inside the cool and far too bright space. Music pouring from the speakers instantly makes me feel older than I am. This teenybopper crap motivates people? There’s a few patrons utilizing the workout equipment. Okay, okay, so I only know what a treadmill is and an elliptical machine—I have no idea what these other contraptions are, and they look far too complicated for me to even try and figure out.
I’m not blind, ya know? I see the looks I’m getting. Yeah, yeah, there’s a fat girl in your territory. I feel like I should tell them that a big ass is not contagious or something, but rather than give them a second glance, I head over to the desk to ask for Jaden.