Panting, quivering, and so damn close to falling off the cliff, she opened those eyes and the gold flecks practically destroyed me.
“You will come on my cock and you’ll look at me when you do.”
Her eyes closed as I rammed her harder.
Crack!
“Keep ‘em open!”
She whimpered, eyes wild as she looked at me over her shoulder. “Again, p-p-please?”
Filthy fucking woman. Fuck.
Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!
Feeling her pussy squeeze me, she was there, and I was so close I had to clench my ass cheeks to keep from exploding inside of her spasming muscles. Balls tight, teeth clenched, I demand her to give me what I need. “Say my name, beautiful.”
Crack! Crack!
“Who’s pussy is this?” Sweat drips down my forehead and slides down her bare shoulder. “Fucking who’s, Skye?”
Barely audible, “Rhett, Rhett…omigod it’s yours, Rhett.”
Crack!
Her body jerks so violently, I almost slip from her. As Skye twitches above me, I feel my balls get wet and that’s what sends me over the edge. There’s no more slowing this freight train as I come harder than I’ve ever come in my life. The roar that comes from me not only hurts my throat with a welcomed pain but it shocked the hell outta me. Another first.
I didn’t stroke her enough. Skin so soft, warm and inviting had regrets making an entrance. Then, it hit…guilt. Guilt for Skye doubting that I wanted her. Guilt for practically pushing her into Jaden’s arms. Guilt for…for the moment, I hated her when she had another mans cock in her mouth—even though I’d lead her to it, told her to. But most of all? Guilt that I’d taken her for the first time with an audience merely to show the fucker who she belonged to. That was a moment we’d never get back and it’d never be truly ours only.
Chapter Seventeen
**Skye**
“So you’re telling me you went from thirty-eight years and not one single orgasm from a man to a climaxing queen with two different men within weeks?”
Nodding, “I think I know why now though.”
“Oh I wanna hear this. Have you heard from Jaden? Talked to Rhett about any of it?” Eden turned her chair away from the mirror after screwing the mascara closed and stared at me like an eager child.
Inhale and exhale. “Jaden’s called me at the diner a few times—”
“Let me guess, you didn’t respond?”
I shake my head.
“Figured. Rhett?”
Inhale, exhale.
“Nothing.”
Seeing Eden’s benevolence is more than I can take.
“Okay, so tell me why exactly you’re leaving orgasms in your wake all over town then.” Funny, definitely funny.
“Well, I didn’t get off until Jaden pinched my nipples or smacked my ass.” Another breath. “Rhett had me coming in seconds when he’d slapped my pussy over and over.”
“Mmm…k?” Furrowed well-defined eyebrows and the fact she was chewing on her bottom lip told she wasn’t reading between the lines.
“Control—well, not only control but a bit of pain.” Sighing. “Truth is, I need to feel the sting, I need a burn, I-I just need something else during sex and I need that something to hurt.”
I saw when she understood what I was saying. “You twisted little slut!” Eden shook her head and sipped from her rum and Coke, obviously highly entertained by my confession.
“Champagne room, high roller, bought two dances in,” glancing at his watch, Charlie continued. “Seven minutes, Eden.” He was gone as fast as he appeared.
“Duty calls.” I watch as she stands, leans closer to the mirror, and freshens the red paint on her lips before her eyes meet mine in the mirror. “I was only screwing with you, you know? I don’t think it’s twisted…at all actually. But now that you know? Don’t deny yourself because you have some thought that it’s wrong.” Straightening up, I watch as she adjust her breasts, pulling them higher, giving herself more cleavage than seconds ago. Before walking out the door, she stops with her hands planted on either side of the door frame and speaks without looking at me. “From what I can tell, Skye? You’ve got two men that understand that—maybe more than you do. Choose one and let the other go because you’re an easy woman to love and that’s just not fair to either of them.”
Then, she leaves—just leaves and I’m left alone replaying her words in my head. “You’re an easy woman to love…” I swallow the lump in my throat. I’ve never seen myself as that. Her words hit me hard. Truth is I’ve built this wall around me, a wall of protection. Protection from what? Oh I don’t know…from love? I’ve never let a man in, never to get close enough, close enough to destroy me when he finally leaves. They all leave. Fathers die, mothers start over, and sisters move on without you.
A sob breaks free, and catching my reflection again in the mirror, I look at myself like I’ve never seen my own face before. I hadn’t—at least not like this, I haven’t. When my father was dead and buried so was a piece of me, a piece of my heart. And, when I needed my mother to remind me that life goes on and that’d we be okay? She left Rain and me for a new life, a new beginning, and now she has a new family. I thought I’d be okay as long as I had Rain by my side, but then, she left too. I wasn’t a child according to the days on the calendar, but I’d never felt more like a little girl than those dark days after being left by my lonesome.
It took me a long time to understand that life wasn’t over and I could make it on my own. I’d done it everyday since. I hadn’t realized that I’d closed myself off from even the smallest possibility of something more with someone, something real. And quite honestly? I know now that’s what had me using Jaden like I’d been doing. Yeah, yeah, I know it was me bent over the desk and it was me getting fucked against a car. Yeah, he ran the show, but in a fucked up way, it was always me.
One can’t lead without a follower and I followed. Trust me I know…I was there. Yup, I was there kicking and screaming until I got what I needed from him. A distraction. Proof I wasn’t falling for a man that I’d only known for weeks, one that would leave one day with another piece of my heart.
How had I gone through all these years and not even seen what I was doing. I’ve had relationships, a couple serious ones, but now I see that I was the one who sabotaged them. Everyday, from the very first one, I had been subconsciously destroying every relationship that I’d acted like I wanted. Of course, when they failed? Never did I blame myself; no, I always planted the blame solely on his back. Matt, Gavin, Ryder, I played the victim every time, blamed them for leaving me in the end. Not that I’d given them any other option. I’d pushed and pushed, until they’d finally had enough.
Hello there guilt, my old friend. Just another punishment I’d been dishing out to myself these days, huh?
How can I not have guilt? I hurt a man like no other. Once again, I played the victim role that I portray oh so well. Rhett. I doubt Jaden gives a shit that he was used and abused as well. I’d bet the sick fuck loved every unhealthy second of it.
“Look at you. All aboard the hot-mess express.” Reduced to talking to my own reflection. You’ve had all these chances at a happily ever after and what did you do? “What did you do?” My breath caught, and I caved into the tears again. Chance after chance, with men who’d shown me they loved me, but I could never give them the same—not that I had believed it was love at the time. They had the strength that I only pretended to have. Learning very well, over the years, how to play the strong woman who didn’t need anyone—dammit, I needed someone. God, I needed someone so much. The lies I’d told myself over the years had left me with the life of loneliness that I’d come accustomed to.