Black mascara tracks ran down my face, my eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and I’d never felt more alone than I do at this minute.
“Skye?” I heard my name, but it sounded distant. “Skye!” Hearing it again, my eyes left the mirror and focused on Eden’s face, only inches from my own, concern clearly written all over her beautiful appearance.
“I’m easy to love?” Even I’m surprised those are the words I say.
Her long hot pink nails make my mouth twitch when she frames my face with her hands, wiping my tears with her thumbs. Resting her forehead against mine, she starts uncovering the heart that I’ve kept hidden for so long.
“Yes, you Skye Blake are one of the easiest people to fall in love with…” Searching my eyes with hers, I know there’s more. “You’re just not that easy to keep loving.”
Those words are my undoing. The sound that escapes frightens even me. This time, when she hugs me close, her arms wrapped around me tightly, I don’t try to break free like I always have in the past. This time? I let myself soak in the love she’s offering without thinking that she will leave me someday too. I feel Eden’s tears soak through my hair, her pulse against my flesh letting me know I’m not alone in a journey I fear has only just begun.
I’m scared. I’m done pretending to be the strong woman who never needs anyone. I need so much. I need to think. I need forgiveness as much as I need to forgive myself. I need to figure out my life before I can have someone share it with me. Most of all? I need to love myself before I can expect somebody else to.
**Jaden**
I hadn’t heard from Skye in over six days before she’d finally waltzed into the gym like she hadn’t been killing me by not responding.
I knew I should stay away, I knew it, but I couldn’t. Let’s be honest here, shall we? When have I ever done what I should’ve done? Exactly.
Ya know, there was a time when I had. Done what I should’ve done that is. For real. I dated the homecoming queen, waited nine months to bed her on prom night. Still makes me smile. We’d went to colleges eight hours away from each other, but even the long distance relationship stood the test of time—well and miles. The night after Rachel graduated, I went down on bended knee and asked for her hand in marriage. Five months to the day, we stood in front of the priest, sweaty palms and all. I’d suddenly had the life I’d dreamed of since high school. Life was good, we were good, or so I thought.
Rachel and I had been married exactly 127 days when I’d come home from the job I held at the local community center. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I’d walked into our apartment and saw my new bride crumbled on the floor with a white plastic stick clenched in her hand. Immediately I knew it was a pregnancy test. My heart began to pound so loud I’d still swear to this day that I’d heard it. Taking the stick from her shaking hand, I saw the blue plus sign and I knew I was going to be a father.
Taking her in my arms, I squeezed her as hard as I deemed safe for her and the baby. Her body shook with every soft sob and I was confused whether she was upset or just overcome like me. Then, my world stopped on its axis and I was left hovering, when Rachel confessed the only thing that could destroy us. “It’s not yours, Jade.” Her grip tightened around me. “I’m so sorry, so-so sorry.”
I lost my life that day. Lost the woman I’d loved since she was merely a girl. Lost the euphoric feeling I had felt only briefly when I saw the results on that plastic little stick. And, lost the belief that true love existed. No such thing.
From then on I’d made sure not to lose myself in the lie that is love ever again. Oh, I believe in lust, hell, I believe in infatuation, but I sure as shit don’t believe in love. Casual sex, good times, and one-night stands were my way of life since packing up my things in garbage bags and cardboard boxes that day. Six weeks after our divorce was final, Rachel married the baby’s father, a finance major she’d been secretly dating for months and months before our wedding.
That’s love? Bullshit. No such thing. Exhibit A just walked in my door and is looking at me right now. Her body is like a beacon to my own. I feel her before I even see her. Proof? Why had I looked before the bell on the door even sounded? I felt her coming. Oh, I’ve felt her coming all right.
“Becky, anyone calls, just take a message.” I say as I hit the front desk with my knuckles as I walk by, knowing without looking that Skye is behind me. I learned rather quickly that my Skye likes me to lead. After she fights with me and tosses around that attitude for a while.
Opening the door to my office, I watch each sway of her ass as she walks past me, her shoulder just barely sweeping my chest. Just that small touch, the teeniest connection has me getting hard.
“Ditch the pants, Skye.”
Her dark eyes flash to mine, and she sucks in a breath. Swallowing before she speaks, I stare at her neck and tell myself I want to taste her there again; I like how she tasted there. I’d tasted her plenty the night I’d fucked her in the garage against my Mercedes. When I’d come inside of her, it was like I was claiming her, even if I was only telling her that she was mine. Fuck. I hadn’t come inside of anyone but Rachel and even that had been rare. Feeling my come inside of Skye was one of the hottest things ever. So hot, I think an encore is in order.
Seeing Skye with her back against the wall, as far from me as she could possibly get, I repeat my command. “Pants, off now.” Fumbling with the string on my waistband, it was like I was in a race to free my dick from its—
“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I came here to tell you once and for all we’re done.”
“Done?” Pulling my sweats all the way back up, I make sure not to snag a piercing; that fuckin’ sucks. “Done with what exactly?” She’s had my dick in her mouth, been filled with my baby batter, yet Skye blushes when witnessing the tent I’m sporting in my pants.
“Us,” her hands motion wildly between us. “This entire fucked up situation we had going on.”
“Had?”
“Here’s the deal, Jaden. I used you—”
I interrupt her. “You used me?” I laugh.
She nods. “Rhett was becoming too much too fast and it scared the hell outta me. I needed to keep him at a distance—”
I point at myself and ask, “That’s where I come in?”
“That’s where you come in.”
I’m not liking the feeling I’m getting in my chest. “And now?”“Now,” she exhales loudly. “Now, I’m ready to let him in.”
“Sweetheart, I was there you let him in all right, you let me in too, hell, he let me in you.”
She doesn’t even bat an eye, her lips don’t even twitch, and I’d never been more hopeful for a smile that just wasn’t coming. Shadows danced across her face from the light shining through the blinds and a slight breeze blew a few strands of her dark hair across her face. Without thinking, I walked around the desk and went to her.
Pushing the hair aside and tucking it behind her ear, once again, I saw the truth in her expression. She wasn’t playing. This wasn’t her giving me shit just so I could force my hand and she could pretend to not want what she really wanted. Skye was serious, and suddenly, the burning in my chest intensified.
“This makes no sense.”
I say at the same time she says, “It’s done.”
Then I kiss her.
When my lips press against hers, I felt the softness tighten almost instantly and she shoves me away. Hard.