The pages talk about what's happened to us as being an illness. It implies that this is some kind of infection or disease that causes a form of dementia but it skirts around the issue and doesn't use such direct language or present any hard facts. It says that a small proportion of the population - they suggest no more than one in a hundred people - are susceptible to 'the condition'. It talks about symptoms, saying that people who are affected will become delirious and will, at random, attack people violently and irrationally. Fucking idiots. There's nothing random or irrational about what I've done today.
What bothers me most of all is what I read on the final extra page. The booklet explains how affected people are being rounded up and taken away and 'treated'. It doesn't take a genius to work out that's the reason for the trucks and the soldiers working their way through town. So what does this so-called treatment involve? From what I've seen it's limited to a bullet in the back of the head.
I'm wasting my time. I don't want to read any more. I shove the booklet into my bag and, after checking the street outside is empty, I leave the house and its dead owner behind. I'll make my way across town to Liz's sister's house and bring Ellis home.
I feel strong. Superior to all of the people who haven't changed. I'm glad that I'm the one in a hundred. I'd rather be like this than like them.
34
I feel like I've been running for miles but I've slowed down now. I've reached the edge of town and there are fewer buildings and shadows to hide in. I don't want to be seen. I could have taken a car but there's nothing else on the roads now and I would have drawn too much attention to myself. I've lost track of time. It's early evening and the light has almost completely gone. I'm cold, soaked through by the heavy rain that's been falling for the last hour or so, but that's just a minor physical discomfort and I still feel surprisingly strong.
I don't know how long I've been outside now but so far I've seen only a couple of other people. The air is still full of noise as the military try to expose us and flush us out into the open but the streets are empty. I know there's supposed to be a curfew at night but I'm sure that's not the only reason why there's no-one around. Being out in the open is too dangerous. Those few people I have seen - the occasional solitary figure that creeps carefully through the shadows like me - I have kept away from. I don't want to risk making contact with anyone. Will they be like me? Perhaps they will but I can't afford to take any chances. They could be like the rest of them. I'll kill again if I have to but I'm not looking for trouble. Finding Ellis is more important. Tonight it feels as if the 'normal' part of the population have been driven into hiding in fear of us.
I think I'm probably about halfway between my flat and Liz's sister's house now. I had planned to walk all night but I think it will be sensible to stop and take cover soon. There are helicopters over the city again now and I feel exposed. Instinct tells me it'll soon be too much of a risk to be out alone in the darkness with the military swarming through the streets and the skies. If I thought it was safe to keep going I would. I'll take this opportunity to rest for a while and eat.
I can't stop thinking about Ellis. My poor little girl is stuck in the middle of a group of people who will turn against her at any time and without any warning. She's in danger and there's nothing I can do to help her. It might already be too late but I can't allow myself to think like that. I've consciously tried to block them from my mind but I find myself thinking about Lizzie, Edward and Josh again. Remembering them fills me with an overpowering sadness and remorse. I wonder if they might eventually change too? Could whatever has changed within me be buried somewhere inside them also? I'd like to believe it could but I don't hold out much hope. The government information I read earlier (if any of it was correct) said that just a small percentage of the population were likely to be affected. I sensed a difference between Ellis and the others too. She and I are alike. We're different to them, I can feel it. I have to accept that the rest of my family are lost.
I'm heading out of the city now. I look back over my shoulder and see that although there are still lights on in many buildings, there are also huge swathes of town which are bathed in darkness. The power must be down. It's inevitable, I suppose. This 'change' (whatever it is) might only be affecting a minority, but it's repercussions are being felt everywhere. It's tearing society apart as quickly as it destroyed my family.
I turn a corner and walk straight into another body coming the other way, the first person I've come across for some time. I immediately tense myself, ready for the kill. I push the dark figure back and clench my fists ready to strike. I stare through the darkness into the other person's face and… and it's okay. There is no anger, no hate and no threat. The mutual unspoken feeling of relief is immense. This person is like me and we both know that neither of us has anything to fear from the other.
'You okay?' I ask, keeping my voice low.
The other person nods and walks on.
***
I can hear engines in the distance. The military are still moving through the dark city behind me and they are closer now. There are more helicopters crawling through the sky too. I can see four of them hovering ominously, sweeping over the streets and occasionally illuminating the ground below them with impossibly bright spotlights. It's definitely time to get under cover.
I cross over a low stone bridge which spans a silent railway track. Ahead of me is the dark silhouette of a huge factory or warehouse and, on the other side of the road, a building site. As I get closer I see that it's the beginnings of a new housing estate. There are a few houses almost completed just off the main road and they are surrounded by the shells of other partially constructed buildings. The half-built walls and wooden frames jutting up into the air make it hard to tell whether the houses are going up or coming down. It's a silent and desolate place and it seems a sensible place to stop and shelter for a while.
The paving slabs and tarmac beneath my feet give way to gravel and dirt. I follow the muddy and uneven route deeper into the centre of the building site and find myself walking along a row of six homes of varying shapes, sizes and degrees of construction. The ground has been so badly churned by machinery here that it takes me a while to realise that I'm actually walking through the future back gardens of these buildings, not across the front. I wonder whether any of these houses will ever be finished now? The three furthest from me appear to be the most complete and I head towards them. Their windows and doors are covered with grey metal grilles. All except the middle one of the three. The grille which covered the space where its back door was intended to go has been prised off. It's lying on the ground in a puddle of mud, buckled and useless. I'm standing in front of the doorway now looking inside. Has someone been here? I realise that there could still be people inside but I need to stop. Should I go in? Is it safe? Sensing that no-where's safe anymore I climb the step and cautiously enter the building. If there is anyone in there and they're not like me I'll kill them.