Hater

    'Madam,' I begin, tensing up in anticipation of her reaction, 'Leftbank Place is a strictly no parking area. The council…'

    She doesn't give me chance to get any further.

    'I'll tell you about the council,' she yells, her voice suddenly uncomfortably loud. 'This bloody council needs to spend less time clamping people and more time making sure that public amenities are in proper working order. The only reason I had to park at bloody Leftbank Place was because the public toilets in Millennium Square have been vandalised! My son has a bowel condition. I didn't have any choice. He couldn't wait any longer.'

    'There must have been other toilets…' I begin to say, instantly regretting having opened my mouth. Christ I hate this job. I wish I was back dealing with rubbish collections, rat infestations or even broken street lamps again. My biggest problem is that it sounds like this woman has been genuinely hard done by and I'd probably have done exactly the same as she did if I'd been out with my kids. It sounds like she's got a fair point and there's nothing I'd like to do more than call off the clampers but I don't have the authority. My options now are bleak; follow procedures and get yelled at again by this lady or get yelled at by Tina Murray if I don't do things by the book. Chances are I'm going to cop it from both of them. Before she can react to my stupid comment I try and cover it up. 'I understand what you're saying, Madam, but…'

    'Do you?' she screams, this time loud enough to wake the baby in the pushchair who starts to whimper and moan. 'Do you really? I don't think you do, because if you did understand you'd be on the phone to someone right now getting that bloody clamp removed from my car so that I can get my children home. They're cold, they're hungry and…'

    'I need to just…'

    'I don't want excuses, I want this dealt with.'

    She's not going to listen. This is pointless. She isn't even going to give me a chance.

    'Madam...'

    'I suggest you go and speak to your superiors and find someone who's prepared to take responsibility for this shoddy mess and come and sort it out. I was forced to park at Leftbank Place because of this council's inefficiencies. I have a son who has a medical condition and I needed to get him to the toilet urgently. If the council had done their job properly in the first place and had made sure the public toilets were in full working order then I wouldn't have been parked there, I wouldn't have been clamped and I wouldn't be stood here now talking to someone who clearly can't or won't do anything to help me. I need to speak to someone who's a little higher up the chain of command than the receptionist so why don't you do us both a favour and go and find someone who is actually prepared to do something before my son needs to use the toilet again.'

    Patronising bitch. I stand and stare at her, feeling myself getting angrier and angrier. But there's nothing I can do…

    'Well?' she snaps.

    'Just give me a minute, madam,' I stammer. I turn and storm back into the office and walk straight into Tina coming the other way.

    'What are you doing in here, Danny?' she asks, her tone of voice as patronising as the woman outside. 'If you're in here, who's manning Reception?'

    She knows full well there's no-one out there. I try and explain but I know it's pointless.

    'I've got a lady out in Reception who…'

    'You should have telephoned through if you needed help,' she interrupts. 'You know the rules, you've been here long enough now. There should always be someone at the Reception desk and you should always telephone through if you have a problem.'

    'There is someone at the Reception desk,' I sigh, 'and she's having a real go at me so can I tell you what her problem is please?'

    She looks up at the clock. Damn, it's gone five. I'll probably be stuck at the station until six now.

    'Make it quick,' she sneers, making it sound as if she's doing me a favour.

    'This lady has been clamped because she parked at Leftbank Place…'

    'Tough! You can't park at Leftbank Place. There are bloody big signs up everywhere telling you not to park at Leftbank Place.'

    This isn't getting any easier.

    'I know that, you know that and she knows that. That's not the issue.'

    'What do you mean, that's not the issue?'

    I pause before speaking again. I know I'm going to have a battle convincing Tina that this lady has a genuine case. For a moment I consider giving up and taking my chances outside in Reception again.

    'This lady tells me she parked at Leftbank Place because she needed to take her son to the toilet.'

    'What kind of an excuse is that?'

    'She needed to take him to the toilet because he has a medical condition and because the public toilets in Millennium Square have been vandalised.'

    'That's not our problem…'

    'No, but her argument is that it is the council's problem. She's demanding we get the clamp removed. Won't go anywhere until it's done.'

    'She can't go anywhere,' Tina laughs to herself. 'We'll get the clamp removed when she pays the fine.'

    I'm not surprised by her response, just disappointed. I want to go home. I don't want to go out there and get yelled at again. What annoys me most of all it that we both know the longer this lady stands her ground and makes a noise in Reception, the more chance there is that the clamp will be removed. I can't stand all this bullshit and pretence. I can't help but say something.

    'Come on, Tina, give me a break. You know as well as I do that if she shouts long enough we'll let her off.'

    She looks at me, chews her gum and shrugs her shoulders.

    'That's as maybe, but we have to try and take the fee from the client first. You know the procedure. We have to…'

    There's no point listening to any more of this rubbish. I can't be bothered.

    'I know the bloody procedure,' I sigh as I turn my back on her and trudge back towards Reception. I wonder whether I should just keep going? Should I walk straight past the woman and her kids and just leave the building and the job behind?

    I open the door and she turns round to glare at me. The expression on her face is pure evil.

    'Well?'

    I take a deep breath.

    'I've had a word with my supervisor,' I begin dejectedly, knowing what's coming next. 'We can get the clamp removed, but we must insist on payment of the charge indicated on the signs displayed at Leftbank Place. We can't…'

    And she's off. She explodes again, shouting and yelling at me. The force, velocity and ferocity of her outburst is remarkable. It's an incredible (but not at all unexpected) rant and I have no defence. I can't argue because I happen to think she has a valid case. If she'd just shut up for a second I might be able to… oh, what's the use? I don't know why I bother. The more she shouts at me the less I'm inclined to listen. I've given up trying to follow what she's saying now. Her words have just become a constant stream of noise. I'll wait for her to take a breath.

    'Madam,' I interrupt quickly as she pauses to inhale. I hold my hand up in front of me to make it clear that it's my turn to speak. 'I'll go and get my supervisor.'

    I walk away, ignoring the muttered comments I can hear about 'speaking to the organ grinder, not the monkey.' I'm long past caring. As I reach for the office door Tina pulls it open from the other side and barges past me. She stops just long enough to hiss a few venomous words in my direction.