Clan? Is it really the best idea to send a cat who can’t control himself?”
Despite himself, Hawkwing felt a hot blaze of anger, and had to clamp his jaws shut to bite back a sharp protest. He had to turn away to hide from every cat how furious he was. I don’t want to react to being called hot-headed by acting even more hot-headed… but it isn’t fair! Why does Sharpclaw have to ruin everything?
“I’ve made my decision, Sharpclaw,” Leafstar meowed firmly.
Hawkwing glanced up, too nervous to hope. I know she won’t let me go—not after Sharpclaw’s rant.
Leafstar looked down at him, her even gaze revealing nothing.
“Hawkwing will go on this quest.”
Hawkwing’s anger ebbed away like rain sinking into parched earth. I can go! I can go on the quest, and help find the spark that remains! He thought again of the other Clans—how exciting it would be to meet other cats who lived like SkyClan. It was all he could do not to break into a happy, self-satisfied purr.
The sun had set, and shadows stretched across the gorge. As
Hawkwing headed toward his den, thinking longingly of his comfortable nest, he spotted Sharpclaw padding determinedly toward him.
What does he want? Hawkwing wondered nervously.
He halted to wait for his father. “Don’t start complaining or arguing!” he burst out, before Sharpclaw had the chance to say a word. He knew it wasn’t advisable to speak to his father this way, but he just couldn’t stomach another lecture. Not while he was still glowing from their leader’s announcement. “Leafstar has decided, and I’m going, whether you’re happy about it or not.”
“I’m not happy about it,” Sharpclaw admitted, his eyes narrowing, “but maybe not for the reason you think. One day, Hawkwing, when you have kits of your own, you’ll know what it feels like to almost lose them.”
What does that mean? “Don’t you think I can look after myself?” Hawkwing retorted, a growl in his voice. “You’re talking like a queen in the nursery—but I’m not a kit anymore. I’m a warrior!”
Sharpclaw nodded, unexpectedly serious. “I know that. But I can still be worried about you, Hawkwing. I’ve been talking to Cherrytail about this,” he mewed. “Do you think you might have become too reckless since Duskpaw died?”
Hawkwing was already on edge, and the mention of his brother made his self-control snap. Just when I finally feel like I don’t have to feel guilty every moment… “I don’t want to hear about Duskpaw anymore!” he spat.
Sharpclaw’s green eyes widened in a mixture of shock and dismay. He stared at Hawkwing in silence for several heartbeats before he spoke again. “How can you want to forget your own brother?” he asked incredulously.
“That’s not what I meant—” Hawkwing began, horrified that Sharpclaw believed he could ever feel that way, but his father had already spun around and begun to walk away.
Watching his father’s retreating back, Hawkwing felt claws of guilt grip around his heart. Of course I’m not trying to forget Duskpaw. I didn’t mean it like that! Did I?
He searched his heart, and realized no, he didn’t. He never wanted to forget Duskpaw, his silliest littermate, who had always been able to make him smile. All he had wanted was to push away the painful memories, and not always think about how much he was missing his brother. But Sharpclaw hadn’t given him a chance to explain.
Hawkwing hung his head, despair clouding out the happy glow he’d felt at Leafstar’s decision.
Whatever the rest of the Clan sees in me, Sharpclaw doesn’t.
Will my father ever understand?
Clouds covered the sky and a thin drizzle was falling, soaking through Hawkwing’s fur and making him shiver. The dawn light was strengthening, but there was no sign of the sun.
Sagenose, Firefern, and Harrybrook had been chosen to go on the new quest with Hawkwing, Darktail, and Rain. All of them were crouching around the fresh-kill pile, bolting down prey before setting out on their search.
Hawkwing swallowed the last bite of mouse and stretched out his forelegs to loosen up for the long journey. Beside him, Darktail was doing the same.
“How long do you think we’ll be away?” Hawkwing asked him.
The white tom paused before replying, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “As long as it takes,” he replied at last. “Until we find the spark and dispel the darkness.”
His words awoke a glow of determination in Hawkwing’s heart.
Yes! This time we won’t stop until we find Firestar’s kin!
Rising to his paws, Darktail gathered his patrol around him with a sweep of his tail. At the same moment Leafstar appeared through the drizzle, with Echosong limping at her side, and a group of the SkyClan cats straggling behind.
“We’re ready to go,” Darktail announced, sharing a solemn look with the Clan leader. “I promise you, I’ll succeed this time.”
Leafstar dipped her head, while Echosong padded around and gave traveling herbs to each of the questing cats. Hawkwing licked them up, grimacing at the bitter taste on his tongue.
“M ay StarClan light your path,” Leafstar meowed, “and bring you home safe.”
Calling their good-byes, the patrol followed Darktail as he headed for the trail that led to the top of the cliff. As he brought up the rear, Hawkwing noticed the apprentice Pebblepaw staring at him, a worried look in her eyes.
Is she anxious about me, or the whole group? Hawkwing asked himself.
He had barely spoken to Pebblepaw since their return from the first quest. Not out of hostility—that was all in the past—but because he knew she was grieving for Billystorm, and that he was maybe the last cat she would want to comfort her.
Now he realized that Pebblepaw could just be thinking about the good of the Clan, but he couldn’t stifle the feeling that she was especially fearful for him.
But I’m not sure she cares anything about me, he told himself. I can’t even begin to imagine it.
All Hawkwing could do was tear his gaze away and bound over to the foot of the cliff, scrambling to catch up with his Clanmates.
He had no idea anymore of how he felt about the young she-cat.
With Darktail in the lead, the patrol headed across a wide stretch of grass, bounded by lines of bushes on all four sides.
Several fox-lengths away a group of huge black-and-white animals were standing, tearing at the grass and grinding it slowly between teeth like jutting stones. Hawkwing cast sidelong glances at them, trying hard not to look nervous in front of the two rogues.
“What are those?” Harrybrook asked, the fur on his shoulders beginning to bristle. “I didn’t think animals could be that big!”
“They’re called cows,” Rain informed him with a wave of his bushy gray tail. “They’re not dangerous, but it’s best to stay away from them. They never look where they’re going.”
Two days had passed since the questing cats had left the SkyClan camp. After the first rainy morning the weather had cleared and now a stiff breeze was blowing, sending fluffy white clouds scudding across the sky. Hawkwing was enjoying the warmth of sunlight on his pelt, and the enticing scent of prey from the bushes up ahead.
I hope Darktail lets us stop to hunt soon.
Beyond the line of bushes Hawkwing could see a copse of taller trees, and beyond that the walls of a Twoleg den, looming up vast even at that distance. Darktail seemed to be heading straight for it.