Rune pulled her hand from his, cradling it in the space between them, running her fingertips over the thin band.
What is he saying?
“It’s why you’re so afraid to look at me sometimes. Because I know what you are, and I know what you’ve done, and I love you.”
Rune’s heart fluttered in her chest.
What?
His face was inches from hers now, his breath warm on her lips. “I love you, Rune Winters. I have since the day I met you.”
Her eyes burned.
“I love you,” he repeated, taking her face in his hands. “Do you believe me?”
He loved her. Not like a friend, or a sister. But like a …
“Be my wife, Rune. Come with me to Caelis. Let me give you the life you should have had.”
One by one, the tears fell. Rune pressed her hands to her eyes to hide them. His wife.
Alex was her safe harbor. He was everything she didn’t deserve.
But do I love him?
As a friend, yes. Like a brother, definitely.
Could he be more than that?
Rune didn’t know. Maybe.
But there was a problem. He was leaving soon. Leaving for good. And she couldn’t go with him.
She stepped back, shaking her head. “If I went with you to Caelis, I would spend every day eaten up by guilt and self-loathing.”
“You do that now,” he pointed out.
She glanced away. “Maybe so, but at least here I can do something about it. I can’t leave helpless witches to be murdered while I live out some fantasy far away.”
“Rune.”
His hands settled on her hips.
“Look at me.”
She dragged her eyes back to his.
“Do you think this is what Kestrel wanted for you? A life spent atoning for an impossible choice—a choice she wanted you to make? Do you think she wanted you to risk yourself again and again until the day they finally kill you? It’s time for you to forgive yourself.”
It wasn’t as simple as that.
“I—”
“Cressida is alive and she’s more powerful than you’ll ever be. Let her take up your cause.” Before she realized what was happening, Alex leaned in. “She can finish what you started.”
And then: he kissed her.
Kissing Alex wasn’t at all like kissing his brother. Gideon was dangerous. Deadly. Literally hunting her. She could never be with Gideon unless she wanted to be dead.
When Alex kissed her, there was no hungry fire burning through her. No desperate yearning. No warm ache.
But there was gentleness, and comfort, and safety.
There was love.
Maybe I could …
Alex’s hands trailed down her arms and settled around her waist, pulling her closer. When his kisses turned hungry, she leaned in, open to the possibility of him. He backed her toward the desk and lifted her onto it. When he stepped between her legs, pulling her flush against him, Rune felt the tiniest spark flicker somewhere inside her.
One day, maybe, that spark could catch and burn into a steady flame.
“Come with me, Rune. Your grandmother would want you to be happy.”
Rune had no defense against his arguments this time. Nan had loved her more than anything; she did want Rune to be happy. And Alex was right about Cressida—there wasn’t a more powerful witch alive. It was silly to insist she could do more than the youngest witch queen could.
“You deserve to be happy,” he murmured against her lips. “Let me try to make you happy.”
Rune couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried so much in one day.
“Okay,” she whispered.
He pulled back, lips parting in surprise. “Really?”
She nodded. “I’ll go with you to Caelis. I’ll be your wife.”
Alex wasn’t the strategic choice; he was the safe one. The boy she could be herself with. The boy she could actually share a life with—because he didn’t want her dead.
FIFTY-THREE RUNE
RUNE SPENT THE FOLLOWING day packing suitcases and making a list of things to send for once she and Alex were settled on the Continent. They had decided Rune would leave on the same ship as Alex the morning after Seraphine’s rescue.
Which was in two days.
An electric feeling zipped down her spine.
“There’s a pile of suitcases sitting on your front doorstep,” said a sudden voice. “Do you have visitors?”
Rune looked up from her packing list to find Verity sweeping into the casting room, her heeled boots clicking on the floorboards as she pulled her gloves off her hands.
Rune had sent a carriage to fetch her friend early, before Alex arrived for their last meeting about tomorrow’s heist. Rising from the desk, Rune bit her lip and turned toward her friend, who scanned the room, her attention homing in on the stacks of wooden crates crammed full of spell books, and the empty shelves beyond them. Verity’s brows knit.
“That’s what I wanted to tell you about.” Rune’s stomach knotted. She wasn’t looking forward to this conversation—or to leaving Verity behind. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I’m leaving the New Republic.”
Verity’s gaze shot to hers.
“I’m going with Alex to Caelis.” Rune touched the thin chain around her neck, lifting it out of her bodice so Verity could see the ring hanging from it. “He asked me to marry him.”
Verity blinked. “And you accepted him.”
“I know you wanted me to choose someone more useful …” Rune wrinkled her nose, not liking the insinuation that Alex wasn’t valuable. “But I—”
“No,” Verity interrupted, shaking her head. “No, I’m glad you didn’t take my advice.” She stepped toward Rune and reached for her hands, gripping them tightly. Her dark eyes glittered as she said, “I never should have made that stupid list. I wasn’t thinking about you. I was thinking about the mission.” She shook her head harder, as if angry with herself. “I’ve been a rotten friend.”
Rune let out a breath. “I thought you’d be more upset.”
“I am upset. You’re like a sister to me.” She looked stern, suddenly. “I don’t want you to leave, but I also want you to be happy. And safe. In Caelis, you can be both. Besides, Alex adores you. He’ll spoil you for sure.”
Rune smiled. “You’ll visit us?”
Verity squeezed her hands. “Of course.”
Rune pulled her into a hug, not even minding her perfume. “Thank you for understanding.”
“I’ll always understand,” Verity whispered.
SHORTLY AFTER ALEX ARRIVED, the three of them gathered in Rune’s casting room one last time to discuss tomorrow’s plan. As the sun dipped below the horizon, Verity pulled out two stolen Blood Guard uniforms from her rucksack.
“It might be a little big,” she said, handing one over to Rune. “But it should do the trick.”
The red wool coat, cotton shirt, breeches, boots, and hat were all stolen from the student in her dormitory. Hopefully, the girl wouldn’t notice before Verity returned them.