Anxious parents called, each in turn, about their 17–year–old daughter Bev, who for the past six months had obsessively washed her hands 3–4 hours a day. Both parents reported they had "tried everything." including counseling and drugs. They were so desperate they were now exploring hypnosis, about which they were very skeptical. Somewhat worn down by their skepticism I said to the anxious mother, "Look, because you are desperate and because you worry that once again you will be throwing money away, I will offer you a complimentary consultation. I will evaluate your daughter's symptoms and only schedule a therapy session if I believe I can help her." With this assurance, she made an appointment.
As family members settled into their chairs, they all appeared relaxed. They communicated with ease, and there were no overtones of hostility. Turning to the girl I asked about school and extracurricular activities. She immediately replied, "I have studied piano for many years and enjoy it very much." Because I play both classical and ragtime piano, this was a natural opening for building rapport.
When I asked about her favorite composer, she quickly said, "Chopin." Because Chopin is also my favorite, we were now in perfect sync. We agreed we both loved Chopin's Nocturnes and we both played most of them. I asked about her favorite and she hummed the melody. I said, "When I practice a nocturne in the evening I often can hear that melody in my head all next day," and she nodded in agreement. "You can hear that melody right now, can't you?" I said. She smiled and slipped into a nice little trance. As she did so, I ventured, "Perhaps, when you get the urge to wash your hands, you might enjoy turning on that nocturne instead." I observed her trance deepen as she considered this, and then she nodded her head and said quietly and confidently, "I can do that."
After some further rehearsal, and talk about other matters, I concluded the session. I didn't suggest another session. The mother wondered, "Do we need to make an appointment for Bev?" I looked at Bev as I said, "Perhaps she has already found a solution," and Bev nodded her head.
A week later the mother called to say Bev was doing fine. I was a little annoyed with myself for solving the problem when I should have held back and scheduled a regular appointment with a fee. But I just couldn't help myself; it was too much fun just to do it. And while there was no fee, I did get a good story, and the mother soon referred a friend.
When I followed up some months later, I asked for more details of what she experienced internally. She said that when she got stressed, she first "felt germs on my hands, and then pictured them on my hands. Then the voice in my head that said, 'You have germs on your hands. You have to wash them.' went faster and louder and got more intense. When I turned on the nocturne, I would usually just hear the music, but sometimes I would imagine myself playing it."
Bev was already talking to herself in a way that made her feel bad, and that bad feeling triggered her hand–washing. The Chopin nocturne was powerful in eliciting a positive state in which she had no urge to wash her hands. If Ron had added some cheerful words, that could have created conflict. However, adding instrumental music does not create conflict, because the music does not have any words to contradict what she was saying to herself. In addition, music is processed by the opposite brain hemisphere than the one used to process language, so any conflict would be between the hemispheres, rather than within one of them. Adding any music without words is a fairly safe intervention, especially if the person chooses the music that they think might be appropriate — and tests to find out how well it works.
Some readers might think that this example was a unique case, but it is actually fairly common. Ron sent me a report about another client he saw recently.
A 30–year–old male who had hung out in his bedroom for several months, couldn't drive a car etc. because of panic attacks, was brought in by his stepmother. He was too anxious to leave the back seat of his car, so I went out and started the session beside him in the back seat — a first for me! He was creating his anxiety with a habitual internal voice: "You're going to go 'weird' " — which was what he called having a panic attack. He's a guitar player, so together we found an alternate audio, a "favorite riff" that triggered his confident musician self. (I told him the Bev story while he was searching for a trigger for his confident self, and this seemed to strike a chord with him (pardon the pun). After we practiced that for a while (I did get him into my office) he went off with his stepmother. I called the next day and he had been out hiking and feeling great, using his favorite riff to keep his musician self in charge.
Adding a Song
So far we have only been making changes in the nonverbal aspects of your experience, without changing the words that an internal voice says. This changes your response without changing or challenging the words that a troublesome voice says. Next we are going to begin to experiment with adding words to change your experience of a troublesome voice. We will begin our experimentation with adding a song, which has both verbal and nonverbal aspects. This is a bit more complex than changing nonverbal aspects alone, because the words of the song may oppose what the troublesome voice says.
If you have two voices in opposition to each other, that will create conflict. Most people have enough conflicts to begin with; we really don't want to add to that! So in the exploration that follows, be especially attentive to any response that indicates that some aspect of you objects to what you are doing, and respect that by stopping. You can try something a little different until you find something that no part of you objects to.
Everyone knows how a song, a jingle, a phrase, or some other auditory experience can get stuck in your head, playing endlessly, and often annoyingly. Trying to stop it is typically not effective. In fact that usually makes it stronger, because as we try to stop it, we devote even more attention to it, when what we want is to pay less attention to it.
The trick is to choose something that is more useful to you than whatever is repeating annoyingly, and a really good choice is some song that has a desired effect on your feelings. You can think of some song that has a positive effect on you, and deliberately sing it to yourself over and over, until it becomes an unconscious background music, a sort of "mantra."
One of my favorite songs for this is "I'm sitting on the top of the world." Another is "I got plenty of nothing," from Gershwin's musical Porgy and Bess. Another, sung by Rita Coolidge, I have forgotten the title of, but the lyrics go, "You can do whatever, … you want to do whatever, … you want to, and you'll never die."
It doesn't matter what song you choose, as long as it elicits a feeling state that you find uplifting or mood changing in a way that you like. A song is a great way to establish and maintain a mood early in the day, and it can also change your mood when you find yourself in a mood that you don't like.
Pause now to think of a troublesome mood that you have experienced repeatedly… .
Now think of a song that you find powerful and uplifting, and that you think could be a useful way to change this troublesome mood… .
As you continue to hear the song, think of a time when you felt this problem mood strongly, and notice what happens… .
Then try a different song, and another, and another, … until you find one that shifts your mood in a useful way… .