I wanted to shake her. Instead, I called her a coward. Though it broke my heart, I mocked and belittled her. Thank God she got good and mad. Her eyes spit fire at me and I wanted to laugh with joy. Better she hate me for a while than give up on life and be put in an early grave. She was trying to get up when I walked away. She barely had strength enough for that, but at least there was color in her cheeks. I hope that fire burns brighter each day.
Though her condition improved, Hildemara had to fight the constant tug of depression at how many months passed. Several patients died. Hildemara focused on the number who improved or celebrated remission. Trip wrote daily, but letters were a poor substitute for kisses or an embrace.
As soon as you’re out of that prison, we’re getting married.
She started having dreams that made her awaken in a sweat, but not the kind brought on by TB. She didn’t argue with him anymore.
At night, while others slept, she knelt on the end of her bed and looked out the window at the moon and stars and talked to God. Or Papa. She spent hours reading the small, black leather-bound Bible Papa had given her when she started nursing school, writing down Scriptures that promised her a future and hope. When the binding began to give way, she asked for adhesive tape.
It took a while, but she got over being angry with Mama. Mama was just Mama. She had to give up hoping she’d have a relationship with her like Cloe or Rikka. Both her sisters had always had the lion’s share of love. But then, they were lionesses like Mama. Nothing would stop them from going after what they wanted.
Hildie wondered if Mama would ever give her credit for making it on her own.
Jones came to see her. “The secret of longevity, my girl, is getting a chronic illness early in life. I survived the Spanish flu. It made me aware of how fragile our lives are. When you get out of here-and you will-you’re going to take better care of yourself. When you get out of here, you come on back to Merritt. I want you back on my ward.”
Boots wrote often. She had met someone-a patient, this time.
I gave him a back rub one night. One thing led to another. Let’s just say if we’d been caught, I would have lost my job. He says he loves me, Flo. He says he wants to get married. Just thinking about saying “until death” makes me break out in a sweat.
A few weeks later, she wrote again and said she had broken up with him.
I’ve probably made the biggest mistake of my life, but it’s too late now. Some people just aren’t ready to settle down. I think I’m one of them.
Boots took a job in Honolulu.
Surf and sand and plenty of tanned bodies. Oh, my. I think I’m in heaven.
A few weeks later, another letter arrived.
What was I thinking when I took this job? I’ve seen the entire island twice over. A pity I’m not an Army nurse. There are plenty of cute soldiers around. But I can’t stand it. I feel like I’m living on the head of a pin in the middle of the Pacific. Hey. Why would I feel that way? I am! I’m sending résumés to the mainland. Who would’ve guessed I’d become claustrophobic in paradise?
Six months had passed by the time Hildemara received permission to leave. She packed her bags.
“December 1, 1941, is a day of celebration from here forward.” Trip carried her suitcase out to the car. He settled her comfortably in the front seat. When he started to tuck the lap robe around her, she protested. “I’m well. Remember?” He grinned and gave her a firm kiss, the first in eight months.
When he slipped behind the driver’s seat, he leaned over and put his arm around her. “Let’s try that again.” He took her hand and placed it, palm flat, against his chest. She could feel his heart hammering as fast as her own. Eyes black, he caressed her face. “We’d better start making wedding plans now. No more excuses.”
“I can’t think of a single one.”
Six days later, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.
37
Hildemara married Trip on December 21, 1941. Bernie and Elizabeth came up with Mama. Melvin drove Rikka. They left shortly after the ceremony to take the ferry to San Francisco. Cloe sent her regrets. She had a job with a production company working on another swashbuckler. Tyrone Power, this time. “We’re sewing night and day to get the costumes ready for the shoot…” Bad weather and lack of money kept Trip’s parents in Colorado.
Many of Hildie and Trip’s local church friends attended and gave gifts. The deaconesses put on a wedding reception in the social hall. Everyone talked about the war, and some of the men in the congregation had already signed up for military service. Mama gave the newlyweds a crocheted tablecloth with fifty dollars tucked into the folds. They used it to buy train tickets to Denver.
Trip’s mother and father made Hildemara feel more like a long-lost daughter than an in-law. When asked what she wanted to call them, she rejected Otis and Marg and opted for what Trip called them-Dad and Mom.
“Look out!” Trip laughed. “Dad’s looking for ways to entertain you.”
When he hooked a sleigh to the back of his car, Hildie climbed aboard and sailed down East Moreno to Prospect Lake. In a few short weeks, she learned the rudiments of ice-skating and cross-country skiing.
They had little time alone in the small one-bedroom house. Trip’s bedroom was much like Hildie’s had been, a converted back porch. At least he had snow shutters instead of screen windows. They had no trouble keeping warm.
“We’re going to have to go back to California soon, so you can start medical school.”
Hildie combed her fingers through Trip’s thick brown hair. His parents had gone off to visit friends, leaving them alone for the day. They had spent all morning in bed, not having to worry about making a sound.
Trip took her hand and kissed it. “I joined up, Hildie.”
Her heart froze. “What did you say?”
“I went to the recruiter’s office on Monday and signed the papers.”
She yanked her hand free and sat up. “Oh, Trip. Tell me you didn’t! We’ve only been married three weeks!” Everything had worked together to keep them apart for so long: Papa’s illness, then hers, and now he signed up to go off and fight a war? How could he?
“It’s cold.” Trip pulled her down again, swinging his leg across hers to hold her there. “Every able-bodied man is joining up. How can I not do my part?”
“So you join up without even saying a word about it? I’m your wife!”
“Hildie…”
“Let me up!”
He did. She pulled her robe on and went into the house, standing near the potbelly stove. She’d have to crawl inside to thaw the chill inside her. Trip came in, closing the door behind him. He stood behind her, running his hands up and down her arms. “I should have told you. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was afraid I’d let you talk me out of it.”
She shook his hands off and faced him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Is this the way our marriage is going to be? You make life-changing decisions and tell me later?” Something else struck her. “Your parents knew, didn’t they? That’s why they left us alone today.” She closed her eyes. “That’s why Mom went to bed early last night and Dad looked so grim.”
“Our country needs soldiers. The recruiter thinks I’ll end up a medic with my premed background and the time I spent working in a hospital. I can be of service.”
He clutched her face, his own agonized. “I can’t stay here safe and happy, making love to you every chance I get, while others risk their lives for our freedom. This is a fight for America’s survival, Hildie, not a little skirmish in a foreign country somewhere we’ve never heard of.”