“What is it?” she asks when I don’t continue.
“Norman passed away.”
“Calvin,” she whispers.
“I don’t think he ever saw me the same again after your time at the mansion. It was hard on him to watch. He’d never desert me though, so he died instead.”
Two arms slip around my waist as Cataline squeezes my back to her front. “You have to stop blaming yourself for everything,” she says quietly. “Norman loved you. I forgave you. He sees how you’re trying to be better, and he forgives you too.”
“You still believe,” I say. “Even though you’ve lost so much.”
She rubs a hand over my stomach. “Maybe I was sent to save you. Maybe it was God’s plan all along.”
Her words light chills over my skin. I’m a product of science; in my world, there’s no room for religion. But if God does exist, he’s not letting me anywhere near those pearly gates. Yet, here is Cataline, thinking I can be forgiven. I take her hands in mine, wrapping her arms more tightly around me. “You saving me,” I mutter, shaking my head. “It makes so much goddamn sense. There isn’t a person in this world who could save me but you.”
She jerks against me as she sniffles. “I’ve been alone my whole life,” she whispers.
“I’ve been there.”
“But not like you’re here now. Tell me you won’t leave. I want to love you, Calvin. Can I love you? Will you let me? I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
I want her to say she can’t live without me. That I’m the only one she ever wanted. But I’ll take what I can get, and not wanting to be alone is one way to love somebody. That’s not how I love her though. My existence depends on her like my next breath. I love her like I need her—like I won’t know anything without her.
I turn in her embrace and hold her close as she exorcises what lives inside of her. I don’t know if these tears are sad or happy, but I wipe them away dutifully.
My fingers rake through her hair as far as her tangles will allow. “You’re not alone,” I murmur. “I’m here now.”
She tries to pull away, but I secure her to me with little effort. She looks at my chest. “Where would we even start, Calvin?”
I wait until her blue-grey eyes return to mine, endless in the way they’re always searching for me. I smile. “Let’s start with breakfast.”
The End