“This is really delicious.” I take another bite of the traditional fish and chips Levi had catered for our little date. I never thought I could enjoy such a simple meal in an over the top setting.
“You said you wanted to give it a try this week, so I made a couple calls to find the best fish and chips in London.” I can’t help but smile at the effort he went through for my meal. I think back to the plane ride over; my stomach had been grumbling and I’d made some backhanded comment about the traditional British dish.
“Finish up. Our next pass we get off.”
I can’t help but laugh. I’ve already gotten off twice, and I look forward to it a couple more times tonight. I pop a last piece of fish into my mouth, and wash it down with a sip of the divine white wine Levi picked for the evening. If there’s one thing he has going for him, it is impeccable taste in wine. I will just jot that one down in the plus category. I’d started making an internal list of the good and bad when it came to whatever this was we were about to embark on. Firmly planted in the good category were his dick size, how he uses it, sexual openness, his taste in wine, the fact that he didn’t get all huffy when I bossed him around, and well, he isn’t half bad on the eyes.
The negatives are plentiful, though: the ex-wife, the fact that we work together in such a major capacity, my own personal insecurities about keeping him sexually satisfied so he doesn’t have the need to look elsewhere. However, what stands out most to me is the fact that we know so little about each other. I have no idea what Levi is looking for long term. Kids aren’t a priority - that much I know - but other than that, I’m completely in the dark. Something that is difficult for me on so many levels.
I’m trying to clear my head, shaking all the cobwebs lose, when he notices I am deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about, Seven?” Levi asks from across the table, placing his wine glass down on the table and concentrating on my face. Should I be honest? The night has been beyond nice; should I ruin it with the messy details of the chance at something more than just fucking, he has been begging me for?
There is no better time than the present, right? The longer this all drags out, the more likely someone is going to get hurt. So I go for it.
“I was thinking how little we really know about each other. I mean, we know basics, but when you asked me for that chance, I don’t know what exactly you want a chance at.”
He smiles casually, like he’s been expecting for my loaded question.
“Seven, I can’t answer that, because I don’t know. I want to be with you all the fucking time. I know that. I’m not looking to walk down the aisle again so quickly, kids aren’t in my five year plan, and I am still raw from everything with my ex. But when I’m with you, I can’t think of another woman. When I’m not with you, I crave everything about you. From the scent of your skin to the electricity that flows through me when I lay a single finger on you. I’ve tried to tell myself to fuck you out of my system, but every time I bury myself deep inside your deliciously tight pussy, I want more. It is never enough. I could fuck you all day long, and want you all night. This…” he points back and forth between our bodies across the table, “this isn’t going away. It’s getting stronger, and I don’t know what to do. Please, just tell me you will dive in with me.”
My jaw is somewhere on the fucking floor. Never once in my life have I had a man go that Hollywood on me. I mean, no one has ever genuinely wanted me for me. Ever. I’m not sure whether I should throw my arms around him and kiss the ever loving shit out of him, or run for the hills. The latter sounds pretty damn appealing right now, but I’m still stuck in this capsule in the sky, waiting for it to descend back to Earth.
“I don’t even know what to say, Levi.” I gulp down the last bit of wine inside my glass, and proceed to pour another glass. “What you see isn’t what you get. It has been a long time since I’ve let anyone this close to me.” Hell, even when I was with Daniel, I didn’t have the desire to let him in the way I do when it comes to this man. He has me completely fucked up in the head. I love and hate every fucking minute of it.
“Seven, you don’t understand me. I don’t care what I get. I want you. I don’t want some front of who you are sometimes. I want the real Seven James.”
Cue the emotional breakdown in three, two, one… Blast off!
“You don’t want me, Levi. I am fucked up. Nobody wants me.” I can hear Blue’s words echoing through my mind. “She doesn’t want you, Seven. Nobody does, and nobody ever will.” I stand, picking up the wine glass and make for the door as the moving glass room comes to a halt. Perfect fucking timing for me to bolt. It would be fucking ideal if I wasn’t sharing a goddamn hotel room with him. Dammit!
“Seven, don’t you dare fucking run from me!”
I hear his loud footsteps behind me. My heels click across the pavement; I run as quickly as I can in these fucking shoes. One day I will finally wear flats, I swear on everything that is fucking holy.
I wave him off as I grip my clutch under my arm, and hold the wine glass with everything I have. What I really need is a nice pint of Jameson’s right about now. I need the smooth burn of the amber liquor down my throat.
My pace slows, and my feet are fucking killing me. There is no way I am ever going to be able to outrun this guy. What a mistake I made ever getting involved with him. I feel his hand grasp my upper arm, pulling my body toward his waiting arms. The glass of wine falls from my hand, shattering all over the concrete.
“Seven, for fuck’s sake! Will you just stop and talk to me? We were having such a good night. What the fuck happened?”
He’s hurt. I can hear it in his voice. My body trembles against his chest as he holds me tight in his strong arms. A single tear falls from my eye. Emotion overcomes my entire being, and my soul is warmed from nothing more than his touch. This man actually wants me, in all my fucked up glory. He wants me. He wants little, broken, unwanted Seven James. The little girl who couldn’t even grab the want and love she desperately craved from her own parents all these years.
“Shhhhh, it’s okay, Seven. Let’s go back to the hotel.”
I start to walk, but Levi scoops me up into his arms as we make our way to the limo, waiting at the curb. I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Something I have only ever done with Star. I close my eyes and listen to the rhythm, boom boom, boom boom, boom boom. My body relaxes against his. The mere sound of his heartbeat is enough to send me to sleep. The connection between our bodies is undeniable. But can we weather the storm of my demons?
CHAPTER 8
The limo pulls up to the hotel and Levi exits, never allowing me out of his arms. He carries me to the elevator, and only puts me down once we reach the bed in my suite. He is tender and caring, showering me with hundreds of chaste kisses, as we both strip for bed. The night is still young. I look at the clock, which reads nine-thirty. The time change is still fucking with my body.
He slowly tugs the zipper of my dress down my back, exposing my sheer bra and the garter belt. My panties are missing, probably still inside our little glass room that I sprinted from. All I want to do it get out of this ensemble, throw on a big t-shirt, and snuggle up in bed. But I know this evening is going to send us on a different course.