But I was raised in a family that was extremely troubled. Children from such difficult backgrounds generally follow one of two life paths: they either succumb to self-destructive habits and addictions, sometimes to the point of suicide, or find sufficient inner strength to build a meaningful and productive life. I took the latter course, through the grace of God and the intervention of the seen and unseen world.
In reality, I have perhaps never known of a more traumatic, dysfunctional family situation than ours. Most people are unaware of this back- ground; they see me as a successful physician and public figure(albeit somewhat eccentric at times!) and assume a conventional, normal upbringing.
As a young adult, I once attended the movie "Mommy Dearest" with my twin sister. Afterward, we looked at each other and said, "My God, that would've been the best day of our childhood!" People are horrified to hear this. Because of parental alcoholism, and home conditions that often attend it, we children also lived with elements of abandonment, neglect and abuse. I remember, as a little pre-schooler, eating cigarette ashes, sand, and dirt when nothing else was around. As a medical doctor, I now realize this was at least providing some of the mineral supplements my body needed: one of those instinctual cravings demanded by the body to enable survival. I was frequently very sick, especially every win- ter, with terrible pneumonias and bronchitis. My lungs still have scar tis- sue from those bouts.
However, blessings often become apparent through hardship. The challenges made me one tough bird! Any bitterness I might have har- bored from childhood has dissipated through the realization that this made me strong - a survivor. By the time I reached high school, I vowed to take hold of my life and turn it around, and did.
Through some of those years I was actually self-supporting, with my own apartment. I held down a job in a local restaurant, working each night until 1:00
A.M., then rose at 6 each day to bicycle across the city to school. I managed to maintain an A grade average, becoming an Honor Society student involved in numerous school activities.
My budding sense of responsibility extended to my three sisters. I often unintentionally referred to them as "my daughters", so strong was my protective, caring instinct for them. Having parents who were anti- role models, I learned how not to do things. The challenges brought the realization that we all create our own future, and transcending the limitations of birth, poverty, abuse, or any other hardship is possible through the exertion of human will.
I was far too busy during high school to become enthralled with the stuff of pop culture that absorbed many teenagers from the late '60s through early '70s. I simply didn't have access to the luxuries most middle class kids took for granted, and basic survival was a constant preoccupation. Carousing with drugs and alcohol was out of the question!
Instead, I began to read the Vedas (the ancient, sacred literature of India) and study Sanskrit. On my own I learned about meditation and the concept of transcendence, which fit quite comfortably into my psyche. I'd been raised outside the confines of formal religion. My parents did not involve me in church as a child (in fact, they were emphatically atheist). The lack of attachment to an institutional doctrine left me open to ideas that might have been outside the comfort zone of someone growing up in a conventional religious tradition. The result is that I moved naturally into the realm of meditative experiences and higher consciousness, without tutoring from outside parties. I taught myself prayer and meditation, from reading as well as direct experience. These pursuits, coupled with my school involvement in environmental and peace issues, created a new layer of experience and growth in conscious- ness for me. It was at this point the experience I now call "non-locality of consciousness" made itself known. When I could find free time, I loved to bicycle out into the countryside seeking this connection.
I'd lie in a field, and practice those techniques that had emerged from inside me. I'd find myself traveling to observe other parts of Charlotte, or to see other areas of the Earth, or going out into space and seeing it clearly. This became routine. At the age of 15, a beautiful, unstoppable force was opening up inside of me, independent of any sort of tradition. It manifested completely from within.
And then, in the spring of 1973, I injured my left thigh. I had made plans to bicycle from Charlotte to the barrier islands on the North Carolina coast, a 200 mile trip. I neglected the injury and went ahead with my plans, traveling the entire distance to the coast in one day, then returning to my small efficiency apartment, in Charlotte. A horrible infection developed in my leg, and spread through my body.
I was so sick! Because of a too demanding work and school schedule I was run down even before this happened. I was also poor, so seeing a doctor was out of the question. As a physician, now I know what happened to me: I became septic, which means my bloodstream was infect- ed, accompanied by a very high fever. There was also skeletal muscle break down, overloading my kidneys. All these are potentially fatal symp- toms, and I was spiraling to that point: a 17 year-old alone without a phone, trying to nurse myself back to health, not fully understanding the severity of my condition. It brought me to a near-death experience, find- ing myself suddenly released from my body.
I was carried out into the depths of space, where I already felt at home. Then I experienced what I now understand to be God conscious- ness, where my individuality became faint as it merged with the effulgent, unbounded, pure, infinite Mind. There was no duality. It lasted for what seemed to be an eternity because a normal sense of time disappears in that state of being. I could see all of creation, the vastness of the cos- mos, and it was beautiful beyond words. There was nothing frightening about it - only infinite awareness, joy, and the perception of an endless perfect creation.
Eventually, two brilliant, scintillating lights approached out of the stars. I now understand them to be Avatars: Manifestations of God. They were not anthropomorphic or anthropocentric, but appeared as brilliant points of light - pure, conscious energy. These were the twin Avatars for our era.
As the Avatars approached me, I entered a state of oneness with them. It was incredibly beautiful. Then there was a conveyance of knowledge in a pre-verbal form; before and beyond words. It's as if when you say "apple," within the word is the actual image of the apple, which could be astral (a light form). And within that conscious image is the pure idea form of the apple itself - its essence. That is how information was being transmitted to me.
I have no sense of how long this union with God lasted. I was affect- ed by the beauty of it all, yet very overwhelmed at the same time.
Eventually, the episode moved into more of a linear style of communication. One of the Avatars said, "You may come with Us or return to Earth." I had the presence of mind to ask, "Well, what is Your will?" And the Being replied, "Well, it's Our desire that you go back to Earth to do other things." With that, I became depressed, having no interest at that point in coming back to Earth. I would have been very happy to remain in that state of awareness, in that place of the place- less. But I somehow knew the highest response of human will is acceptance of the Divine will, and said, "Okay, then."
And with that, I acknowledged their reality and the very exalted celestial beings that exist and the existence of the Godhead and the one- ness of creation and divinity. And that's what I experienced: complete, perfect oneness of unbounded Mind and creation as one. Then I sort of lost consciousness, and fell back into my body, just sort of whoosh.