Korin made the best of things. He drank cup after cup of the bad wine and praised it as if it were Kallian red. He joked with Amin and even charmed a smirking grin out of Innis by challenging him to arm wrestle and losing. Caliel paid their guesting price by leading a few songs, which brightened things up for a while. But Ki was too aware of the looks Alben, Mago, and their friends kept stealing at him, and their smirks as Sekora tried clumsily to play hostess. She’d always been kind to Ki and he nearly jumped on Arius when he answered her rudely. His brothers had noticed, too, and looked ready to do murder.
Lynx gripped his knee under the table and shook his head. Even here in this wretched place, a royal squire shouldn’t shame the king’s son or his lord by brawling. Ruan and Barieus gave him sympathetic looks across the table, but that only made Ki feel worse.
Tobin knew how he felt; he always did. Ignoring the rude ones, he talked hunting with Amin and did a bit of swordplay with Dimias. He gave Ki the occasional quick smile, and there was no false brightness in it.
It was a relief when they finally headed off to their chamber. Weaving a bit, Korin threw an arm around Innis and proclaimed him a fine fellow. Tobin and Caliel got hold of him and steered him along behind Sekora. Ki hung back, not yet trusting himself near Mago and the others.
His stepmother led them upstairs to a passably clean guest chamber with two large beds. His father no doubt considered this scandalous luxury, but Ki wanted to sink through the floor when Sekora told Korin that the squires were welcome to the stable loft, as if they were mere servants. Korin was very polite about it, and saw to it that pallets were brought up for them.
The rest of this floor, which should have been the private quarters for the family, had fallen into disrepair and there was no evidence that his father thought it needed-changing. The other rooms were empty and musty, their bare floors filthy with the droppings of birds and mice. Since the family still lived and slept in the hall as they always had, it made little difference to them.
“Would you mind if I went back down for a bit, Tob?” he asked softly.
Tobin clasped him by the wrist. “It’s all right, Ki. Go on.”
“So you’re back to fight, are you?” Amin said, making room for him on the settle. “Is it true none of you been to the wars?”
“That’s right,” Ki told him.
“Funny thing, coming all the way up here for it, after living so close to the royals so long,” Dimias said. “Bilairy’s balls, Ki, even I been. Why didn’t that duke fellow ever take you, eh?”
“Nobles don’t go so young.” It was true, but he felt small all the same. Amin had a sword cut on his cheek and was careful to sit so Ki could see it.
“Listen to him!” his half sister Lyla said from one of the sleeping piles. “Sounds like quality now.”
“They learned me to talk like ’em,” Ki snapped, falling back into the old way of speaking. “You don’t think they want me squalling like you all around them fine lords an’ ladies?”
Dimias laughed and locked an arm around his neck. “That’s our Ki! And I say good for you. Maybe you can learn us, too, and find us positions in Ero, eh? I’d fancy city life. Leave all this stink behind without a glance, just like you did.”
“Father sold me off,” Ki reminded him, but the truth was, he hadn’t cared much, leaving.
Lowering his voice, Amin muttered, “I seen how some of ’em looked down their noses at you, though, and you let ’em beat you down, too. Don’t give ’em the pleasure of it, y’hear? I seen battle and all. Half these highbred boys’ll piss their pants tomorrow, mark my words.”
“But not you, eh?” Amin clapped Ki on the shoulder. “Ahra said the pair of you was warrior-born after she seen you again. Sakor-touched, so she said. And he’s a good ’un, that Tobin, even if he is sorta runty and girlish.”
“You’ll stand fast, you and yer prince,” Dimias said.
“ ’Course we will!” Ki scoffed, “And he ain’t girlish!”
They tussled a bit over that, but for the first time that day he was glad to be home, and gladder still to have his brothers speak well of Tobin.
Squeezed into bed between Nikides and Urmanis, Tobin listened to the older boys bragging about how many bandits they’d kill the next day. As always, Korin’s voice was the loudest. Tobin kept an eye on the door, waiting for Ki to come up. Tiring of the wait, he went looking for him.
The hall was dark except for the hearth’s glow. He was about to go back upstairs when someone whispered, “Ki’s outside, Yer Highness, if you’re lookin’ for ’im.”
“Thank you.” Picking his way carefully around the piles of sleepers, he made his way down through the kitchen into the stinking courtyard. The sky overhead was cloudless, and the stars looked big as larks’ eggs. Torches were burning on the parapet, and he could see the guards patrolling the wall walk. He was heading for the yard gate when he caught sight of two people sitting in the back of the abandoned cart.
“Ki?” he whispered.
“Go to bed, Tob. It’s cold out.”
Tobin climbed up onto the splintery seat beside them. It was Tharin there with him, sitting with his elbows on his knees. Suddenly he felt like an interloper, but he didn’t want to go in again. “What’s wrong?”
Ki let out a harsh snort. “You saw.” He gestured around at the keep, the yard—everything, probably. “This is what I come from. Think they’re going to let me forget it?”
“I’m sorry. I never thought it would be like this. I thought—”
“Yeah? Well, you didn’t reckon on my kin.”
“He’s been gone a good while,” Tharin said quietly.
“They’re not so bad—some of them. I like your brothers, and your father is a tough old warrior; I can tell.”
“He got old while I was gone. I’ve never seen him laid up like that, half-blind. Five years is a long time, Tob. Looking at them, I start to wonder who I am.”
“You are what you’ve made of yourself,” Tharin said firmly. “That’s what I’ve just been telling him, Tobin. Some are born noble but don’t have the heart to be any kind of man. Others like Ki here come out noble to the core no matter what. You both saw my family. They weren’t much different than your people, Ki, but Rhius raised me up and I hold my head high next to any wellborn man. You’re cut from the same cloth. There’s not a boy on the Palatine I’d rather stand next to tomorrow.”
Tharin gave them both a quick squeeze on the shoulder and climbed down. “Bring him in soon, Tobin. You need your rest.”
Tobin stayed by Ki, thinking of his own homecoming in Atyion. He’d honestly supposed Ki would find something of the same welcome here. But the keep was awful; there was no denying it. Had the king known it, when he’d suggested it?
At a loss for words, he found Ki’s hand and clasped it. Ki let out a growl and bumped his shoulder against Tobin’s. “I know you don’t think less of me, Tob. If I thought that, I’d ride out that gate tonight and never look back.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You’d miss the fight tomorrow. And Ahra will be here, too. What do you think she’d do to you if you ran off?”
“There’s that. Guess I’s more ’feared of her than any Companion.” Standing, he looked around the yard again and chuckled. “Well, it could be worse.”