“A medical doctor, to cure the sick, of whom there are far too many,” Dahaba says. “I’ll work for international charitable organizations, helping women and children, the poor and the homeless.”
Qamar asks, “And you, Auntie Bella, what other accomplishments do you want to attain beyond all that you’ve already achieved?”
Bella thinks very hard to make certain that whatever she describes leaves room not only for Dahaba and Salif in her life but also for Zubair and Qamar, whose mother is in such precarious health. She reasons that perhaps it is just as easy to look after four children as two, especially children so wonderful. She hugs each of them and says, “For now, my plan is to start a photo studio here and look after Dahaba and Salif. And I hope that you two,” she says, looking at Qamar and Zubair, “will spend a great deal of time with us too. Because you are my family, you are all I have.”
Dahaba, acting as spokesperson, says, “You are the world to us four and we love you, Auntie, love you to bits.” And they go into a group hug.
Teary-eyed, Bella leaves them in haste and goes straight to the washroom to have a good cry. She looks at herself in the mirror and washes her face in cold water. She emerges, dry-eyed, to find Gunilla still chatting with Fatima and Mahdi about Aar. Fatima is admitting to the crush she had on him that he just shrugged off. She nods at Bella and concludes, “The boys in the class envied him, and the girls adored him. Aar was special,” and then she lets her emotions take over, bringing her story to a tearful end.
Bella offers tea and coffee all around.
Mahdi and Fatima take the offer as a discreet signal that it is time they left. They exchange mobile numbers with Gunilla, making plans to meet at a time and place to be agreed later. Fatima says to Mahdi, “My sweet, let us round up our children and take them home, it is very late.”
Bella says to Gunilla, “I predict that the children won’t want to be separated and will resist going with their parents.”
“They are winsome, all of them,” says Gunilla.
“And they get on so well, the four of them,” says Bella, looking in the direction of the kitchen and wondering where Valerie and Padmini have ended up. Bella feels like a shepherdess trying to gather her unruly flock and failing.
Gunilla says, “Time for me to go too, dear,” and she is up on her feet. She stretches and says, “Must go to the gym tomorrow. I am out of shape.”
“I haven’t had a workout for days either,” says Bella.
“I’ll show you where my gym is, in Westlands,” says Gunilla.
“We have a date,” says Bella.
Fatima is back with Bella and Gunilla to report that Zubair and Qamar are, as Bella predicted, resisting leaving. Mahdi asks Bella if they can pick them up tomorrow. Bella says, “Of course.”
Fatima says apologetically, “You see, with no school until next week, they get out of hand,” although there is nothing to apologize for. They say their good-byes, and this prompts Valerie and Padmini to come out of the kitchen at last. They bid Gunilla, Fatima, and Mahdi good night, and Bella escorts her friends to their vehicles.
On her return, the children are taking pictures of Padmini and Valerie, and they want Bella to stand in the middle as Padmini and Valerie pose. Then there is a family portrait with Dahaba and Salif joining them and Zubair and Qamar taking photos in turn.
Before the children go to bed, Dahaba insists that she show Valerie the darkroom. Valerie is appropriately wowed and indulges her daughter’s over-the-top enthusiasm. Then more good nights, the children yammering up the stairs until their voices fade behind the bedroom doors.
In the kitchen, the mood is ominous, but Bella bides her time, gathering the plates and piling them up in the sink. It feels good to push back the chaos she associates with Valerie and reaffirm this new life where there is no room for clutter. She brings in all the cups, glasses, and empty soft drink cans, and begins to wash up.
“Drinks, anyone?” asks Bella.
Valerie says, “Just water for me, please. I’ll help myself.” Bella hardly dares wonder if she is to regard this as a good omen.
“And you, Padmini?”
“More wine, please,” replies Padmini. “And I’ll do the same.”
Valerie sips her water and says, “We are leaving at dawn, Padmini and I. I am packed and have booked a cab to the airport.”
Bella cannot believe that matters are turning out this way, with Valerie drinking water and refraining from sowing rancor. She wonders if she can trust it.
Then, as if at Valerie’s behest, Padmini says, “And we thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve been the most generous host possible, especially considering your state of mourning.”
And Valerie, if a touch begrudgingly, adds, “And we mourn with you. He was a wonderful man and proved himself to be a wonderful father to our children.”
And what is there left for Bella to say but “Thanks”?
She is fond of silence, Bella reflects, in whose palatial space she can move around; she is seldom betrayed by the slip of her tongue, the way Valerie often is. But tonight Valerie seems to be a different self.
Bella asks, “Shall I call down Salif and Dahaba so that you can say a real good-bye?”
“Please, no,” says Valerie.
“But why not?” says Bella in surprise.
“For one thing, I hate saying good-bye, and I can’t stand the sight of Dahaba weeping and Salif making cutting remarks. I’ve never regretted doing what I did, leaving them. And I feel they are in superb hands with you — in fact, I trust that they will do better in your company and care than in mine.” She pauses, and then goes on. “I love the darkroom, which I see as a wonderful illustration of your dedication to them, your interest in their well-being, and your intention to share the most important parts of yourself. If I speak with them again, I may muddle things. I don’t want to leave them with conflict in their minds.”
Valerie’s mobile phone sounds. She looks at it, then nods to Padmini. “Our cab is here, darling.”
Padmini again articulates their thanks, and they both rise to their feet. “We can see ourselves out,” Valerie says, gesturing to Bella to stay put. Then she says, “Many things that ordinary people view as normal, including saying good-bye, are foreign to my nature. I have several selves, in fact: a private self that I am comfortable with and a public self that I find as demanding and exhausting as speaking a foreign tongue that I am barely familiar with. No doubt, you all think that I am rather unusual, uncouth in my outlook, ungrateful when I should be grateful. ‘Good-bye’ and ‘thank you’ do not figure in my vocabulary for reasons that have to do with my father and my upbringing. And so I would be lying to you if I use the very words I associate with a period of my young life that I viscerally hate to relive.”
Bella thinks of the Somali wisdom that holds that what your parents don’t teach, you will be compelled to learn the hard way from an unfeeling society. She is glad that Valerie is showing some signs of coming to her senses about her life and her priorities. But true to her word, Valerie neither thanks Bella nor apologizes, and she makes it clear that she does not wish to hug or to be kissed on the cheek. As she heads for the door, Bella takes Padmini in a tight embrace.
“Go gently, my friend,” says Bella.
And then Padmini goes to join her partner in the waiting cab.
Acknowledgments
This is a work of fiction, whose germs developed in the soil of my imagination, even though the background of the events narrated here comes from other brains and other earths. However, I must make very clear that any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental.