"I want to go somewhere else," she said to the machine.
"Define parameters," said the computer.
"Define syntax."
"Command syntax. Normal syntactical restrictions do not apply in the Help facility. Commands and appended arguments may be stated in colloquial-vernacular form. Parameters may be subjected to
Manual analysis and discussion if desired."
"Does that mean I can just talk to you?" Dairine said.
"Affirmative."
"And you'll give me advice?"
"Affirmative."
She let out a breath. "Okay," she said. "I want to go somewhere else."
"Acknowledged. Executing."
'Wo don't!" Dairine said, and several of the aliens around her reacted to the shriek. One of the holly tree people, standing nearby in something like a flowerpot, had several eyes fall off on the floor.
"Overridden," said the computer.
" 'Help' facility!" Dairine said, breathing hard. Her heart was pounding.
"Online."
"Why did you start doing that?!"
" 'OK' is a system command causing an exit from the 'Help' facility and a return to command level," said the computer.
"Do not run any program until I state the full command with arguments and end the sequence with 'Run'!"
"Affirmative," said the computer. "Syntax change confirmed."
Oh, Lord, Dairine thought, I've started messing with the syntax and I don't even understand it. I will never never use a program again till I've read the docs. . "Good," she said. "The following is a string of parameters for a world I want to transit to. I will state 'end of list' when finished."
"Affirmative. Awaiting listing."
"Right. I want to go somewhere else."
"Transit agenda, confirmed. Specific arguments, please."
"Uhh. ." She thought. "I want to go somewhere where there are going to be people like me."
"Noted. Next argument."
What exactly was I looking for? Darth Vader. . She opened her mouth, then closed it again. I think I'll wait a bit on that one. "I want to go somewhere where I'm expected," she said.
"Noted. Next argument."
"Somewhere where I can use some of this magic."
"Argument already applies," said the computer. "You are using wizardry at this time."
Dairine made a face. "Somewhere where I can sit down and figure out what it means."
"Argument already applies. Documentation is available at this time."
Dairine sighed. "Somewhere where I will have time to sit down and figure out what it means."
"Incomplete argument. State time parameter."
"A couple of days. Forty-eight hours," she said then, before it could correct her syntax.
"Noted. Next argument."
"Somewhere-" One more time she stopped, considering the wild number of variables she was going to have to specify. And the truth was, she didn't know what she was after. Except. . She looked around her conspiratori-ally, as if someone might overhear her. Indeed, she would have died if, say, Nita, should ever hear this. "Somewhere I can do something," she whispered. "Something big. Something that matters."
"Noted," said the computer. "Next argument."
"Uh. ." The embarrassment of the admission out loud had driven everything out of her head. "End arguments," she said.
"Advisory," said the computer.
"So advise me."
"Stated number of arguments defines a very large sample of destinations. Stated number of arguments allows for interference in transit by other instrumentalities. Odds of interference approximately ninety-six percent."
That brought Dairine's chin up. "Let 'em try," she said. "The arguments stand."
"Instruction accepted. End advisory."
"Fine. List program."
"Transit program. Sort for Terran-type hominids along maximal space-time curvature. Sort for anticipated arrival, time continuum maximal but skewed to eliminate paradox. Sort for opportunity for intervention. Sort for data analysis period on close order, forty-eight hours. Sort for intervention curve skewed to maximal intervention and effect. End list."
"You got it," Dairine said. "Name listed program 'TRIP!.' "
"Named."
"Save it. Exit 'Help' facility."
"TRIP! saved. Command level," said the computer.
"Run TRIP!."
"Running. Input required."
Dairine rolled her eyes at the mile-high ceiling. Nita doesn't do it this way, she thought. I've watched her.
She just reads stuff out of her book, or says it by heart… Oh well, someone has to break new ground.
She stretched her legs out in front of her to keep them from cramping. "Specify," she said.
"Birth date."
"Twenty October nineteen seventy-eight," she said, looking out across the floor at the great crowd of pushing and jostling aliens.
"Place of birth."
"Three-eight-five East Eighty-sixth Street, New York City." The hospital had long since burned down, but Dairine knew the address: her dad had taken them all there to a German restaurant now on the site.
"Time of birth."
"Twelve fifty-five A.M."
"Favorite color."
"You have got to be kidding!" she said, looking at a particularly busy knot of aliens across the floor.
Security guards, most likely: they were armed, in a * big group, and looking closely at people.
"Favorite color."
"Blue." Or were these critters security guards? There had been other creatures walking around in the terminal wearing uniforms-as much or as little clothing of a particular shade of silvery green as each alien in question felt like wearing. And their weapons had been slim little blue-metal rods strapped to them.
These creatures, though-they wore no uniforms, and their weapons were large and dark and looked nasty.
"Last book read," said the computer.
"Look," Dairine said, "what do you need to know this dumb stuff for?"
"Program cannot be accurately run without the enacting wizard's personal data. You have no data file saved at this time."
She made another face. Better not interfere, she thought, or you might wind up doing the breaststroke in lava after all. "Oh, go on," she said.
"Last book read-"
"The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," said Dairine, looking with increasing unease at the armed bunch of aliens. They were not nice-looking People. Well, lots of the people in here didn't look nice-that purple Jell-O thing for one-but none of them felt bad: just weird. But these creatures with the guns-they had an unfriendly look to them. Most of them were mud-colored warty-looking creatures like a cross between lizards and toads but upright, and not nearly as pretty as a lizard or as helplessly homely as any toad.
They went about with a lumpish hunchbacked swagger, and their eyes were dark slitted bulges or fat crimson bloodshot goggle-eyes. They looked stupid, and worse, they looked cruel….
Oh, come on, Dairine told herself in disgust. Just because they're ugly doesn't mean they're bad. Maybe it's just some kind of military expedition, like soldiers coming through the airport on their way home for leave.
-but with their guns?
"Father's name," said the computer.
"Harold Edward Callahan," said Dairine. She was looking with a combination of interest and loathing at one of the warty creatures, which was working its way toward her. In one arm it was cradling a gun that looked big enough to shove a hero sandwich down. In its other hand, a knobby three-fingered one, it held the end of a leash, and straining at the leash's far end was a something that looked more like the stuffed deinonychus at Natural History than anything Dairine had ever seen. A skinny little dinosaur it was, built more or less along the lines of a Tyrannosaurus, but lithe and small and fleet. This one went all on its hind legs, its long thin tail stretched out behind it for balance: it went with a long-legged ostrichy gait that Dairine suspected could turn into an incredible sprint. The dinosaur on the warty alien's leash was dappled in startling shades of iridescent red and gold, and it had its face down to the floor as it pulled its master along, and the end of that long whiplike tail thrashed. And then it looked up from the floor, and looked right at Dairine, with eyes that were astonishingly innocent, and as blue as a Siamese cat's. It made a soft mewling noise that nonetheless pierced right through the noise of the terminal.