As we walked away, I heard Fergus’ voice. He spoke in a low tone to Gillacoemgain. “Like a banshee wail. You know what they used to say about her father. Ill-omened.”
For a moment, Gillacoemgain did not reply. Then I heard him say, “It is for the gods to decide.”
“Then let’s hope they are on our side,” Fergus said, closing the door behind them.
I hoped Fergus was right, because when I looked down at my clothes, I realized they were covered in ash.
For the next few weeks, messengers rode in and out of Cawdor. The Lord of Moray had his supporters, but it wasn’t clear if he had enough. With Thorfinn backing Macbeth, and the west of Scotland with divided loyalties, it was unclear if Gillacoemgain had the men he needed. Much depended on Malcolm. And I knew, better than many, that Malcolm could not be trusted.
“I need to get you out of Cawdor,” Gillacoemgain told me one night as he settled into bed beside me. “Spies are reporting that Thorfinn is amassing his naval army. I want you far away from any place near the water. We are too close to the Moray Firth here. You’re in too fragile of a state. If Cawdor is overrun and you are taken by force, neither you nor the babes may survive. No matter what happens, I must see you and my children safe. Malcolm has sent word that he is preparing forces to head north to support me. He’s inquired on your welfare. He told me to send you to Aberdeen.”
“Aberdeen? It’s right on the coast.”
“That’s right,” Gillacoemgain said, a knowing look in his eyes.
My heart started beating hard. Malcolm wanted me somewhere easy to retrieve. If Gillacoemgain fell, Malcolm wanted to pluck me out of the middle of the fray and put me where he wanted me next. From Aberdeen, I could easily be bundled up and sent south…to Duncan? Was that Malcolm’s plan for me if Gillacoemgain failed?
“No,” I said. “Send me to my aunt. I’ll go back amongst my women where I will be hidden and can safely deliver the babies.”
“Malcolm…”
“Malcolm be damned. We both know his motives.”
Gillacoemgain nodded. “We’ll send word to Madelaine in secret. I’ll tell Malcolm you will be sent to Aberdeen. You must ride south. War is coming, just as our little ones are ready to join this world. I must get you somewhere safe,” he said, setting his hands on my stomach. “Gruoch,” he said, looking carefully at me. “That day in the meeting room…what did you see? What vision?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him. “It was nothing.”
He touched my chin. “I know what you are. I’ve known it all along. Highland blood. The old blood thunders in your veins. Tell me. What did you see?”
“Fire.”
“Pray to the Goddess. Pray to her. She will listen to you,” he said then pulled me against him. “I love you, little raven.”
“I love you too,” I replied, swallowing the anguished moan that wanted to escape my lips.
Chapter 21
Two nights later, I found myself wide awake as the moon rose high in the sky. Macbeth. Who was this man to come and rip my world apart? Sighing, I looked back at Gillacoemgain who was sleeping soundly. The little chamber was warm, soft orange light pouring like liquid amber across the room, shining down on my husband.
Wrapping a shawl around me, I rose and stood over him. How handsome he looked in the firelight. I closed my eyes and imagined how he’d looked that summer day in the field with the falcons, smiling as the sun shone in golden hues on his hair.
Gillacoemgain grimaced in his sleep, then turned and rolled over.
I sighed then set my hands on my stomach. We expected word from Madelaine to come at any time. Soon, I would ride south. This late in my pregnancy, it would be a difficult journey, but one I had to make. Malcolm wanted me within his reach. This time, I had more futures than my own to think of. Growing within me were the heirs of Moray, little ones who would, through me, have a claim to the throne of Scotland. I had to keep them safe.
Frowning, I went back to the fireplace. I lifted another log to drop on the flames but jumped when I saw an image dance across the surface of the water in the cauldron hanging there. I looked inside. The room around me suddenly grew distant, and I found myself standing along the shore. Moonlight glimmered on the waves. I wasn’t sure where I was, but the smallest flakes of snow swirled in the air around me. Overhead, I looked to see the sky was alive with color. Streaks of purple, indigo, and golden light rolled across the starry canvas.
Startling me, I heard someone speak. I turned to find a man kneeling on the ground, his sword before him, hilt end up. His words were soft.
“May all that is to be come to pass through you. Amen,” he whispered then rose.
When he did, I found myself standing face to face with my raven-haired man.
“You,” he whispered.
How long had it been since I’d seen him? He looked older, but still as handsome as ever. The aurora of light overhead shimmered on his armor, casting incandescent hues on his pale face.
I reached out, wondering if I could touch him, but realized then I was little more than spirit. Quite by accident, I walked between the worlds. When I sought to speak, I heard only the raven’s cry.
He gasped and backed away, a startled expression on his face.
His reaction caught me off guard, and I was flung back into myself. Once more I was in my chamber with Gillacoemgain. Sharp pains struck my temples. I sat, holding my head, hoping to ward off the terrible pain and tremor that sometimes followed. Not now. Not while I was so heavy with child.
I inhaled and exhaled deeply, blowing the pain away. My raven-haired man. It had been so long since I’d seen him last. My king, Andraste had once called him. Perhaps he was, but not in this lifetime. Perhaps he, like Banquo, belonged to a life lived long ago. Was he anything more than a buried memory come to life again? Did I walk the edges of time to join him? I didn’t know.
I looked down at my hands, studying the lines thereon. Gruoch, Lady of Moray, daughter of Boite and Emer. Boudicca reborn. Who was I really? I stared into the flames. If the otherworld had never touched me, if I’d never gone to the coven, or to Ynes Verleath, what kind of woman would I have been? I glanced back at Gillacoemgain. I would be his wife, undistracted by visions of the otherworld. But when I looked back at my hands once more, I saw the now-faded scar on my palm, evidence that my soul knew and loved another before Gillacoemgain. And along with that scar, I saw the cut I’d made with my own knife, slicing my bind in half. Banquo was gone. My raven-haired man was some spirit who lived in a different world, a different time.
I closed my eyes and tried not to think about what would come next. I tried to think only of Gillacoemgain and the little ones growing inside me. Soon. They would be here soon. And so would Thorfinn and Macbeth. I could only pray that I had enough strength to endure them all.
Forces amassed all around Cawdor as Gillacoemgain’s army prepared to ride north into Orkney and Caithness. Tents popped up in the fields all around the castle as the first snow began to fall. It was a bitter cold morning when a familiar shape rode through the castle gates.
Gillacoemgain and I had been passing through the yard when Tavis arrived.
“Gruoch,” he called, dismounting.
He was road-weary, but a look of relief flashed across his face as soon as he spotted me. My heart felt happy to see him. In truth, Tavis had been in my life for as long as I could remember. He might have been Madelaine’s champion, but he’d always watched over me like a father. In that, he was dear to me.