“Still within you. Vengeance can be yours, but it is Gruoch, not Cerridwen, who will see to that.”
I stared at the flames, and this time I saw my hands clutching a dagger, blood dripping from my fingers.
From deep within me, the raven called.
Chapter 3
Madelaine embraced me the moment she entered Epona’s house the following morning. Her crushing hug was nearly more than I could take. My body still felt so hollow. I felt like a ghost, a spirit moving through the tangible world. It was an odd feeling. I tried to shake the thought and focus on my beloved aunt. She looked older. The hair at her temples had turned gray. How much time had passed?
“I’m so glad you made it here so quickly. We thought it would take you much longer,” she said.
“Yes, well, I was pushed out immediately,” I replied. Pushed into darkness and damnation. Was I pushed fast so I would not miss my fate? Had Andraste known? When I saw her next, she would have a lot of explaining to do.
“A week’s wait doesn’t feel immediate to your impatient aunt.”
“A week?”
Madelaine nodded.
Uald entered the house behind her. “So, she returns from the void.”
I mustered up the best smile I could.
“Sit, sit,” Madelaine said, motioning me toward the table. “You look pale, Corbie. Has she eaten, Epona?”
“Yes,” Epona said distractedly as she rummaged about in her pantry.
I’d stayed the night with Epona in a kind of stupid slumber, half awake and half in the otherworld. It was so hard to collect myself. I felt like I was drunk, lost in the shadows, a fey and broken thing.
“How are you, my little love? You don’t look like you feel well,” Madelaine said.
“The walk between the worlds is grueling,” Epona answered for me.
Madelaine smiled. “I’ve missed you so much.” She took my hands. I winced when she touched the bandaged cut on my palm. “Oh, you’re hurt?”
In so many ways. “I fell.”
Madelaine nodded.
Uald, who’d taken a seat alongside me, was studying both me and Epona carefully. Madelaine was delighted to see me and that joy blinded her. Uald, however, gave me a questioning look.
I shook my head and looked away. Not now.
“Your betrothed waits for you at my castle. He has come with a full entourage to see you. You will be taken north to Moray where you will be wed. He is older than you, in his late thirties, I believe. He’s tall and muscularly built. He has light brown hair and dark eyes. All in all, he is rather handsome.”
I frowned. In all this puzzling madness, I had assumed that Gillacoemgain of Moray would be my raven-haired man. In the very least, that would have made sense. But he wasn’t. And he wasn’t Banquo. What in the world was I to do?
“Who cares what he looks like? All of Scotland knows he’s a dangerous and bloody man,” Uald said.
Madelaine frowned. “Yes, there was bloodshed. That is true,” Madelaine said then turned to me. “Gillacoemgain killed his brother Findelach in civil war.”
“Donalda’s husband?” I asked then, remembering the story. Malcolm’s younger daughter Donalda had been married to Findelach, the Lord of Moray. Findelach had fallen out of King Malcolm’s favor and many whispered that the king supported Gillacoemgain’s move to wrestle power from Findelach.
Madelaine nodded. “The same.”
“Has Findelach no sons?” Uald asked.
“One, Macbeth, who sought protection from Lord Thorfinn of Orkney when his father was murdered.”
“I’m sure that went over well,” Uald said with a laugh. It was well known that Thorfinn of Orkney opposed Malcolm and wanted to rule the north of Scotland himself. With a powerful ally like Macbeth, who was an heir to Moray, the two would be a strong opposing force, one that Banquo had once told me he supported.
Madelaine nodded. “Indeed, until Macbeth was captured and handed over to his grandfather. He’s now a ward in Malcolm’s court.”
“A prisoner, you mean,” Uald said.
Madelaine shrugged. “Either way, he is subdued. Your marriage to Gillacoemgain will give you rule over the ancient kingdoms. It is a great honor.”
“Easy for you to say. No one seems to care that I am already bound to the heir of Lochaber,” I said angrily. My own rage startled me. My heart pounded in my chest.
Madelaine shifted in her seat. “I swear by the Great Mother, I did try.”
“We thought we heard a raven’s caw,” Sid said then, pushing the door open. When she entered, she immediately sensed the tension in the room. “Ah, so I see you’ve told her the good news.”
In spite of myself, I chuckled.
Sid flopped down into the seat beside me and put her arm around me. “Gillacoemgain of Moray, the fratricide. Excellent choice, Madelaine,” she told my aunt then turned to me. “Well, Raven Beak, there’s always the next life for love.”
Madelaine opened her mouth to protest but then closed it, thinking better of it.
“Cerridwen?” another voice called from the door. I turned to see Aridmis there.
“Sister.”
“Many welcome returns,” she said, smiling at me. “The stars told me you were coming soon.”
“Do they have anything else to say?” I asked sourly.
“Much, actually,” Aridmis said knowingly.
“I’m weary of the future,” I said, suddenly feeling very tired.
Aridmis poured a glass a water and lifted it, “then let’s toast the past.”
I smiled wryly at her, lifting my cup.
She smiled sympathetically at me, nodding in assent.
Druanne and Bride then entered. They’d been discussing something heatedly.
“You don’t always have to be right,” Bride was telling Druanne.
“I’m not saying—” Druanne began but Bride cut her off when she saw me.
“Merry met! It’s Cerridwen!”
Druanne looked sharply at me, plastering on a false smile. She nodded to me then busied herself helping Epona.
“You don’t look a day older,” Bride told me.
“Yet feel the weight of a thousand years on me,” I said absently.
Bride laughed, “Pshaw, so complain the young when they don’t know better. Just wait until you’re so old that you don’t recognize yourself in the looking glass anymore.”
The company in the room fell into cheery laughter. The conversation regarding Gillacoemgain of Moray was put on hold, and with Druanne there, I did my best to put my troubles out of mind. The last thing I wanted was for her to know what had happened. I was still coming to grips with it myself and didn’t want her poking at my wounds. But with the others came noise. And while having those I loved near me made me feel comforted, the loud sounds started clanging on my nerves.
“I know someone else who has missed you,” Uald said. “Why don’t we go check on Kelpie?”
Grateful for her intervention, I followed Uald outside. The bright sunlight hurt my eyes.
“I’ve had some luck breeding. We managed one colt, but no more. I need to bring in a fresh mare. Unfortunately, I’ll be losing my stallion now.”
“I’ll have horses sent to you. Madelaine can bring them when she comes next.”
Uald laughed. “Spending the wealth of Moray already?”
“What else will I have to do in Moray, wed to a man I do not love?”
Uald leaned against the fence. “Banquo…he came, you know, searching for you. Epona led him to believe you would not return.”
“So she confessed.”
“Epona doesn’t know that I told him you would return. But I did warn him that marriage was out of the question.”