“I know you will do what you can,” Balor said. “After all, the Great Mother and Father put you on the throne. How can you not?”
“I will do my best. Safe travels to you.”
Balor inclined his head to me.
I left him and went to Lulach. Part of me wanted to bother him with a million questions and concerns—Did he pack enough warm clothes? Did he have enough supplies? Had he remembered all his gear?—but I held my tongue. Lulach was much changed. He was approaching manhood. He had always been a thoughtful child, but now his contemplation and reserve had more depth. In a way, he was becoming more like his father—thank the Goddess.
“Do you remember when we went to Thurso?” I asked as I tightened the ties on his saddlebag.
“Just a little. I remember Thorfinn and the seals. And…”
“And?”
“And…selkies.”
I reached out and touched the birthmark on his forehead, a blessing from the faerie realm. “You have always been able to see the Otherworld, even when you were a boy.”
At that, Lulach smiled. I could see he was pleased with himself, but he didn’t want to bring attention to his pride.
“I’m sure I don’t need to caution you to be careful,” I told him, anxious to see him depart.
“Mother,” he said with a smile. He turned and embraced me. “I wish you well. I’ll be back in the spring to see my sister.”
“We will see you then.”
Lulach mounted his horse and reined in beside Fleance.
I went to Fleance and took his hand. “Do you have everything you need?”
He nodded. “Father provisioned Lulach and me. Balor and the others watch over us well.”
“And what about Thor? How is he?”
Fleance laughed. “He doesn’t realize he’s grown, bouncing around like a big puppy. But he’s a good hunting dog. His ears are sharp. He hears every sound in the forest.”
“Just like Thora,” I said, feeling sad for a moment. In Ynes Verleath, it would have seemed like very little time had passed, but I missed my dog.
“I’ll be thinking of you. I hope all goes well with our sister.”
“I’m sure it will,” I said, setting my hand on my stomach.
“We’ll be back in the spring. I can’t wait to see you then. This visit was too short.”
“Agreed. But for now, I wish you safe travels,” I said, squeezing his hand.
Fleance’s eyes grew watery, but he gave me a nod then let me go.
Banquo joined me, and we walked with the party to the gate of Tor Castle.
“Farewell, brothers,” Banquo called to the druids.
I inclined my head to Beric, Diarmad, and Calean who rode out ahead of the party. Fleance and Lulach, their dogs following behind them, trotted out behind the druids. While Angus ran on, Thor stopped by to give my hand a lick before he raced after Fleance.
When Balor passed, both Banquo and I bowed.
Balor returned the gesture.
His arm around me, Banquo and I watched as the druids turned their horses from the road and into the forest, blending in with the trees. A moment later, they were gone.
I sighed heavily.
“They’ll be back soon,” Banquo reassured me.
“I know. It’s just…they’re so changed.”
He nodded. “It’s for the best. You’ve raised good, strong boys, my Cerridwen. Now Balor will shape them into men.”
“Lulach’s spirit is inclined toward the holy life. He already has his first tattoo.”
Banquo nodded. “He showed me.”
“He may struggle to rule this nation.”
Banquo considered my words. “A mother’s worry is never misplaced, but Lulach’s thoughtful nature will make him a good ruler.”
“He is very like his father.”
Banquo stroked my hair gently. “And his mother. He will be a force to be reckoned with.”
“I hope.”
“Speaking of forces to be reckoned with,” Banquo said, touching my belly. “When will this one arrive with all her sound and fury?”
“Very soon, from the feel of it. Every time I go up the stairs, I feel like she wants to jump out.”
Banquo smiled. “I do not wish labor pains on you any sooner than needed, but I can’t wait.”
“Neither can I,” I said.
Banquo smiled down at me then and planted a soft kiss on my lips.
Turning, we headed back into the castle. Just off the castle yard near the stables, I noticed Killian watching. He was smoking a pipe, the smoke twisting up in the air around him. The great affection between Banquo and me was no secret in Lochaber, but when I felt Killian’s eyes on me, it made me remember I was a married woman. A twang of shame washed over me.
I pushed it away.
No. It wasn’t like that. I had married Banquo first, in the eyes of the gods, and Macbeth had abandoned me. Besides, Killian would never judge me. My own guilt was tripping me up.
But why?
Why would I ever feel guilty over betraying Macbeth?
Pushing my thoughts away, I headed back inside.
Chapter 34
As the weeks passed, autumn faded into winter. The first of the winter winds howled through the valley and snow fell. The River Lochy was trimmed with ice and snow. Life at Lochaber slowed. And so did I.
Every muscle in my body ached.
It pained me to move.
Somehow, I thought carrying one child would be more comfortable, but the pain in my lower back was excruciating. The terrible ache went on for days. Given how achy I was, it came as no surprise when I rose one morning to find my bedclothes were wet. I had barely slept the whole night. Cramps had wracked me. Crearwy and Lulach had been so reluctant to come into the world. Aelith, it seemed, was ready to go.
“Oh,” I said lightly, touching the gown.
Thank the Goddess, there was no blood.
“What is it?” Banquo asked groggily.
“I think…I think I may have this baby today. Can you go fetch Morag?”
Banquo jumped from the bed, nearly tripping on the furs, and rushed out of the room.
I chuckled then winced as another pain wracked me. My labor had started in my sleep.
“Little sneak,” I said, patting my stomach.
I breathed through the pain then poured myself some water.
“My lady,” Morag said with a smile when she entered the room. “I hear you have news.”
I nodded. “We’d best have a look.”
“Come, Banquo, collect your clothes and get out,” Morag told him. “We will be here awhile.”
“Gruoch, I won’t be far away,” Banquo reassured me.
I moved to smile at him but cringed as another pain wracked me. That was fast.
“Morag, the pains are coming quickly.”
Morag clicked her tongue at Banquo, hurrying him along. His hands full of boots and clothes, Banquo left.
Morag’s niece, Greer, a pretty red-haired girl with a face full of freckles, closed the door behind Banquo.
I lay back down on the bed. Morag washed her hands then had a look.
“Well, Gruoch, we’ll be at this very soon.”
“What do you mean?”
Morag laughed. “It’s almost time to push.”
I wanted to laugh, but the pain took me once more. I lay back and closed my eyes.
Goddess, Mother, watch over us.
It was not long after that the hard labor began. As Morag said, the time had nearly come. Giving birth to Lulach and Crearwy had been the hardest thing I had ever done. Aelith, on the other hand, seemed to be in a great hurry. I grunted and strained with the effort, but before lunch, our daughter arrived screaming.