“Without love.”
“That’s right, without love, but I tended to you all the same.”
“Ride off to Banquo if you want, but don’t come back. I don’t need you. I shall rule this land with Lulach at my side. Already there is talk that Siward is gathering forces once more.”
“So he is, which is why Fleance and Lulach are rallying the north and readying for war once again.”
“I am king here.”
“You are a king of shadows. A king of nothing. I have ruled this land, not you. Now, if you please, stay in Dunsinane and do not interfere in Lulach’s work. I will return within the month,” I said then headed outside to where my horse and guard were waiting.
To my great relief, Macbeth didn’t follow.
Part of me worried. With Macbeth so unsteady, I should stay. But if war was coming again, it would be too long to wait to see Aelith. And I had not seen Crearwy in years. I could no longer cast, the skill having left me in the many years that had passed. If I wanted to see my child, I needed to ride out.
Lulach held the country safely in his hand. For a moment, just for a moment, I wanted to be with my family once more. I rode away from Dunsinane feeling swells of anger. Why now, of all times, would Macbeth revisit such nonsense? What did he hope to gain? Did he seriously think that we would ever reconcile? That would never happen. Surely, he knew that by now. And if he didn’t, then he was truly mad.
It was three days’ ride to Lochaber. A great sense of relief washed over me when I saw the towers of Tor Castle appear on the horizon.
I rode through the gate only to be met by an excited scream.
A girl, followed by a dozen puppies, rushed from the stable to meet us. She was a wild thing with tousled brown hair, which looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days. Her gown was dirty at the knees, her hands a match.
“Dada,” she screamed toward the castle. “Riders!”
Soldiers appeared to greet us, including a man wearing the badge of the castle sentinel. Killian.
“Your Majesty,” Killian called.
The girl, who had been jumping and clapping her hands, froze.
She turned and stared at me, her blue eyes meeting mine. Her eyes went wide, and a second later, she turned and ran.
“Aelith?” I called after her.
Killian came and helped me off my horse. “How good to see you, Lady Gruoch. We were not expecting you.”
“Didn’t my messenger arrive?”
“No, Your Majesty.”
“I see. I am sorry to surprise you. Will you please see to my men?”
“Of course.”
“And are you well?”
“I am. I’ve become a father, Lady Gruoch. Greer had a boy this winter. We named him Standish.”
At that, I hugged Killian. “I’m so glad for you both.”
A moment later, Banquo appeared. “Gruoch?” he called.
As he made his way toward me, I noticed he was walking with a limp. When I’d seen him last, his hair had been peppered with gray. Now, much of his locks had changed color, his curly hair thinning at the front.
As he made his way toward me, he adjusted his clothes, straightening them and re-lacing his ties.
“Gruoch,” he said as he neared me. “I… We didn’t know you were coming.”
“So Killian told me, but I sent a messenger.”
“There was no one.”
“That’s disconcerting,” I said.
Banquo nodded then looked around. “Where has Aelith gone?”
“There, Thane,” Killian said, pointing to a path that led around the castle.
“She was taken by surprise as well,” I told Banquo.
“Come,” he told me, linking his arm in mine. My heart melted to feel the warmth of his body beside mine. We had been apart so many years. I loved him still and dreamt of him often. But nine years was a very long time.
“My Cerridwen, you must forgive me. I’m a mess,” Banquo said, stroking the scraggly grey beard on his chin.
“My love, you could be covered from head to toe in mud, and I would love you no less.”
“I am covered from head to toe in grey hair and wrinkles,” he said with a laugh.
“And? You are always perfect in my eyes,” I said.
We rounded the side of the castle. This section of Tor Castle faced the river. There, out of the eyes of the others, we paused.
I reached out and touched Banquo’s cheek.
“I’ve been eating fish with garlic,” Banquo said with a chuckle.
“I don’t care,” I said then set my lips on his.
Banquo pulled me close. I fell into his embrace, feeling his warmth, and loving being close to him again—garlic be damned.
When we pulled away, he smiled at me. “Come, let’s see where our pixie has gone.”
“She looked like she was frightened of me.”
Banquo shook his head. “You are her mother. But we don’t get many strangers here, and I am sure she was shocked.”
I nodded.
Banquo led me down a path that led to a rocky peninsula that jutted out into the river. There, Aelith and her brood were playing. The puppies splashed in the water, chasing one another, nosing through the grass at the shoreline, snapping at fish or flipping rocks.
Aelith eyed us over her shoulder then threw a stick into the water.
The largest of her puppies raced after it.
“What a fine pack, my lady,” I called to her. “Where did you come by them?”
“Found ‘em in the woods,” she answered in reply.
“All of them?”
“Yes. Their dame ran off, I guess. Couldn’t find her anywhere, so I brought them all back with me.”
“Aelith has been their surrogate mother,” Banquo said. “They’ve been sleeping in her bed with her. Poor Greer has been beside herself for fear of fleas.”
“They don’t have fleas,” Aelith said, sounding exasperated.
“Aelith,” I called. I slowly approached her. Part of me thought she would run. But she stilled like a wild thing, watching and waiting. “I have something for you.”
At that, she brightened. “What?”
I dug into the pocket of my dress and pulled out a small ring I had been carrying with me for years. It was a tiny silver band trimmed with an amber stone. “This,” I said, showing it to her. “It belonged to Lady Crearwy of Moray.”
The girl hopped across the stones and came to look at the ring. Taking it from my hand, she slipped it on her still-dirty finger.
“Does it fit?”
She gave her hand a shake, making my heart clench with worry as I imagined the ring flying off into the river. “It fits well. It was very kind of Lady Crearwy to give it to me. Now, is she the same person as my sister Crearwy or is she a different Crearwy?”
“Your sister is named after the late Lady Crearwy of Moray, sister of Gillacoemgain.”
“Two Crearwys. How funny,” Aelith said then laughed very loud. “Watch this,” she told me, picking up a stone. Aiming it as best she could, she skipped the rock across the surface of the water. “See that?”
“I did.”
“Nine times. Can you do better?”
“I cannot.”
“You should try.”
I lifted a rock and gave it a go.
“Three,” Aelith said with a sigh. She patted my arm. “You need practice, Mother.”
“Yes, it’s been many years.”
Without another word, Aelith wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. “Don’t worry. I will teach you to be good at it again.”
I kissed the top of her head. “Bless you, my daughter. Bless you for your patience with me.”