I nodded.
“That helps. Malcolm has enough of the old blood in him to hear me out. He knows where you truly are. He will understand how you and this Banquo came together. I will do what I can. Lochaber has always been friendly to our line. Their Thane would want the marriage for his son, but I cannot promise anything. My Little Corbie, you must realize you are the last gem in Malcolm’s treasure chest, the last little bird he can marry off to win him an alliance. You must not get your hopes up, but I will do my best.”
I sighed heavily.
Madelaine took my hands and smiled gently at me. And I realized, for the first time in my remembrance, no ghosts lived behind her eyes. I saw no bruises anywhere on her. It was finally over. I was happy for her, but I worried for myself. Surely, Banquo and I were meant to be together. Nothing could stand in the way of such old soul magic, could it?
Epona arrived a few hours later. Madelaine shared her news with her.
“I will be moving my household to Fife. Malcolm will put someone from Alister’s line in place. I won’t be far, but when you return, you will come to Fife.”
“So the Thane of Fife has another wife,” Epona said. “His history with his brides is not good.”
“I am his fifth wife, but he is not Alister. I quizzed the household women hard on the matter. All the others died in childbirth, by accident, or in sickness. There were no questions, just misfortune. The Thane is a fat old man looking for a pretty woman to sit beside him and tell him jokes. He has done his duty in the bedroom once or twice but doesn’t seek it. He is in his gray years. He seeks a companion.”
“Speaking of? What of Tavis?” I asked.
“He is part of my household. He will accompany me to Fife.”
I smiled. I was so glad.
It was late in the evening when Madelaine finally took our leave.
“I promise you I will inquire as soon as I can on this matter with Lochaber,” she told me.
I kissed Madelaine on the cheek then buried my nose in her hair. I had missed her smell; she smelled like hyacinths and home.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too,” I replied.
Madelaine, accompanied by Uald, who would journey with her to the stream, rode out of the coven.
I sent a silent prayer out to the Goddess: let the King be swayed. Let me marry the Thane of Lochaber.
The only reply I got in return was silence.
Chapter 19
Fall drifted away. The hills turned purple with heather and then back to a dingy brown. It was not long before the cold winter winds began to whip. The fresh fruits and vegetables disappeared from our table and were replaced by potted foods, meats, and breads.
At the end of October, we began preparing for the Samhain celebration, and I began counting the days until Banquo returned. There had been no word from Madelaine. I didn’t know if she’d yet spoken to Malcolm. A holiday for dark magic, Samhain marked the eve when the veil between the worlds would be the thinnest. And it was the night most sacred to the dark goddesses. I waited on Samhain, but the days before dragged on with excruciating slowness.
“How did you stand living in the castle? If I spend even a few days walled up I begin to feel my mind slip,” Sid complained as she paced her room one evening.
“I didn’t think about it much, and I had Madelaine to entertain me.”
“Mad Elaine, Mad Elaine, ever full of life. Let’s pass the time. Want to learn how to send a casting? I know you’ve done it before, but you can never practice too much, Raven Beak.”
I nodded.
“Then lie down,” she said and crawled onto her bed. She grinned at me.
I smirked at Sid. We’d never said anything about what had passed between us. Sid acted as if nothing unusual had happened, but I’d begun to see her in a different light. I adored her, and she was intimately tied to Banquo, whom I loved. I wanted to marry Banquo, to be his bride, to bear his children. I wanted to rule Lochaber at his side. With Sid, I just wanted to be with her. We belonged together, her and me and Banquo. The three of us. When Sid lay down, I felt a strong urge to touch her, to put my lips and hands on her, to feel that wild energy inside her. To feel her. When I thought about it, I wondered about the deep affection I saw between Uald and Madelaine, and wondered if it was similar.
“Not now,” Sid said with a grin. “Lie down and learn something.”
“I’m fairly certain I learned a few things the last time I lay down on this bed,” I said with a wink.
Sid laughed, reached over, and pinched me. “Pay attention, Raven Beak. What you must do is lift out of your body. Rise up without moving a muscle. You will have complete control of where you go. You will not be at the whim of chance. I’ve seen you do it before. Go ahead and try.”
I looked at Sid. “But how?”
“Ride the silver thread as you did in the barrow when you visited the Wyrd Sisters or glide on your raven wings. Close your eyes and rise up as you did before. But rise up and out of your body.”
I tried to quiet my mind, which still rumbled with thoughts of Sid’s soft skin and fiery touch. After some time, I became still and focused on my breathing, on the beating of my heart. I pulled my energy in and focused. I focused on my soul. I tried to see Sid’s room through my mind’s eye. I thought about the moon. Determined to look at the glowing orb, I bade myself sit up. And I did. I saw the room around me and Sid lying beside me. I rose, walked to the window, and gazed out at the silvery disc. It was nearly full. In two weeks it would be Samhain.
“See,” Sid said. “You’ve done it with no trouble at all.”
I turned around. Our bodies lay on the bed. Sid stood beside herself. It was different, much different, from when I had traveled to the Wyrd Sisters. And this time, I did not have my raven wings. I was myself, but in spirit. And this time, I was in control.
“Is this how you usually go the faerie?” I asked.
“Sometimes. Sometimes I go to them whole as I did that day in the barrow.”
“How did you do that?”
“I saw the portal to their world. Sometimes it is a glowing light. Sometimes there is a door. It is easier to walk between the world as solid flesh when you are in the old holy places, cairns, circle stones, or even caves. There are many caves in our realm that lead to dark, old places. They are guarded by the little people of the hollow hills who will trick you and kill you if they can. That’s how I got lost at the autumn festival. They turned me around in the caves, and I emerged far from here. They are dark, old, and dangerous things.”
“What are they?”
“Not human. Not faerie. Old. Ancient. From another world and time,” she said. I couldn’t help but notice her tremble. “Come, let’s send before we grow too tired.”
“Send?”
“Who do you want to see?” she asked.
“Banquo,” I said right away.
She smiled.
It was strange to exist as a specter. I lifted my hands and saw through them. The world outside my window was silver.
“Where do you suppose Banquo is?” Sid asked.
“Somewhere north, or on his way here.”
“Think then. See him. Find him. There is a tie between you and him. It is strong. Feel that pull and follow it.”
I closed my eyes and thought about Banquo. I suddenly became warm, as if I was standing near a fire. I smelled men’s bodies and ale. The heat was stifling. It made me feel heavy with sleep. I cracked my eyes open and saw a roaring fire in the center of a hall. Men slept on the floor under heavy furs. The wind outside whipped at the doors, but the heat backed the chill away. I opened my eyes more fully and looked around. I noticed Balor sleeping near the fire. My eyes sought out Banquo. He was half-awake, half-drunk sitting on a stool in front of the hearth. I walked toward him. He spied movement and looked up. At first he squinted, as if he could not see me clearly, then his eyes opened wide.