The house did not hush for many hours, presumably until all the men had passed into drunken unconsciousness. I was trying to sleep when I heard the door open. Terror gripped me, but I turned to see Madelaine in the doorway. She slid into bed beside me. Exhausted, I lay very still. I had just started to fall asleep again when I heard her whimper.
“What is it?” I whispered.
My aunt did not respond. I moved, allowing the moonlight to glide past me onto her swollen face. She held a wet rag against her eye: it was red, puffy, and black. She looked deathly pale.
“Madelaine!” I exclaimed.
“It’s nothing,” she whispered.
I went to the water basin, moistened a fresh piece of cloth, and took the old one she’d been clutching. I gently pressed the clean cloth against her face.
“Why?” I asked. Rage made my hands shake. Violent anger swelled up in me. I was so angry I realized I bit my tongue. Blood swelled in my mouth, filling my mouth with its salty taste. I felt feverish. I wanted to kill Alister.
Tears rolled down Madelaine’s cheeks. “It doesn’t matter why. This is what men do. Husbands don’t love their wives. They especially do not love wives who bear no children.”
I felt sick. I asked pointedly, “Your miscarriages…did they follow such cruelty?” How many little ones had Madelaine lost? She rarely spoke of it, but I knew she had lost or put into the grave at least six little souls, too many for a mother to count. “He beat you until you lost your children, didn’t he? Then beat you again because you bore none? Madelaine, you must not suffer this! Are you to have no happiness?”
“I have found some.“
“With Tavis?”
“Well, that is something different. You fill my heart.”
“Then I shouldn’t go!”
“You must.”
“Then come with me.”
Madelaine shook her head. “Only nine. Nine is the holy number. Someone else has moved on, and you shall take her place as the new ninth.”
“Were you with these women before?”
Madelaine nodded. “The world is changing, Little Corbie. Soon all will follow the White Christ. But all the women in our family go amongst the wise women when their time comes. Some stay for a short time while others train for many years.”
“What about you?”
“Scant months thanks to a marriage contract. The family needed an alliance with Alister’s clan. I sealed the alliance.”
“Then family duty comes before the old ones?”
Madelaine sighed. “You must realize your immediacy to the throne. King Malcolm is your uncle. As well you know, he had only daughters, your cousins, Bethoc and Donalda. While the line of succession will pass to the next male heir, Bethoc’s son Duncan, you must realize your importance. Any son you bear will have a claim at the throne. You are a valuable chess piece. They will marry you off to the most royal lord in the land, if not to Duncan himself, to ensure there is no rivalry. But there are many young lords who would gladly mix their blood with the line of MacAlpin. Your fate is not yours to determine. These scant few years you have before a match is made must be lived with passion. Learn what you can. Be who you truly are.”
I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew her words were true. I had always known I was meant for a bridal contract. But would they really marry me off to Duncan? My own cousin? Such close matches were not uncommon, I knew, but I shuddered at the thought. Such a marriage would also mean great things for me…I would be Queen of Scots…my sons would be princes.
Nonetheless, my heart sank as I looked at Madelaine. My womb would be used to forge alliances or birth princes. I would never be free, just as she had never been free. We belonged to the crown, and I was a prize like her, waiting to be reaped. I understood then something about the world: legitimacy and power determined your fate.
I sighed then kissed my aunt on her forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I snuggled next to Madelaine and pulled my covers to my chin, my mind spinning. What if they married me to a man like Alister? What would I do with such a man? Outside my window, I heard the call of a raven. It landed on the sill just outside, a mouse in its talons. The mouse’s dead, bulging black eyes gleamed in the moonlight. With its sharp beak, the raven ripped its corpse to bits.
Chapter 4
The next morning, I awoke groggy and starved for fresh air. Madelaine had gone back to her duties. My mind spun with a hundred different ways for Alister to die, but none of them seemed violent enough. I lay in bed and stared out my window. A heavy mist rose. Finally, I pulled on a cloak over my night clothes and went below.
I crept past the sleeping men in the feasting hall to the garden at the side of the castle. There, in the first of the morning sunlight, I knelt between rows of herbs. No doubt the cooks would soon, though lovingly, chase me away, so I quickly snapped fresh tendrils of mint, thyme, and other herbs. I thought their sweet scent would cheer Madelaine, and I’d often seen her brew the herbs into a draft. She said it calmed her. Something told me she might need them. The leaves were wet with morning dew. My fingers became moist, dirty, and perfumed with the herbs. I held the bunches in my hands and breathed deeply until the heady scent made me feel dizzy. I stuffed the herbs into my pockets and headed toward the front of the castle.
In the field, fire rings puffed up dissipating tails of smoke. The encampment was clearing; the men were heading home. I prayed this meant that the siege of debauchery was over.
As I walked, I spied a small trembling mass sitting near one of the abandoned camps. I climbed a small hill toward it and found a furry black body battling the wind. When I came to stand over her, she looked up at me with her sad brown eyes. It was a tiny puppy. She whimpered softly, rose on her six-inch tall legs, and waddled toward me, her tail wagging. I patted her head. She started licking me, her little pink tongue working hard. I laughed, picking her up and hugging her. She was shivering.
“Poor little thing,” I whispered to the pup. “Let’s get you inside.”
I turned to head back to the castle only to find myself face to face with Father Edwin.
“My Lady, good morning to you! May the Lord bless you this fine morning! Ah, what do you have there?” He was wearing long gray robes, a large wooden cross hanging from his neck. He peered at my hands with his sharp, gray eyes.
I looked away from him. “Just a pup. She was in the field,” I said and tried to pass by him, but he moved to stop me.
“A faerie thing then. Let me take it to the men and have its throat slit. You shouldn’t bring a foundling inside the castle walls,” he said, reaching for the puppy.
I clutched the puppy closer and looked down at her. Her brown eyes met mine. “No,” I said sternly and started walking toward the castle. I saw Tavis near the gate. He caught sight of me and began crossing the lawn toward me…and Father Edwin.
Father Edwin turned to walk beside me, still pressing his point. “Such temptations should be avoided, My Lady. The fey folk still play with high-born people such as yourself. Give it to me. I’ll be rid of it,” he was saying when we met with Tavis.
“What is that, Corbie?” Tavis interrupted, eyeing Father Edwin suspiciously as he stepped closer to me. I moved toward Tavis.
“Just a wee pup.”
“I told My Lady that it is the work of the faerie folk to leave such traps for young girls. It should be thrown in the river.”