Macbeth raised an eyebrow at me. “I thought, perhaps, it would be best to wait until I receive word from Malcolm.”
He would have us safely married first. He wanted to show Moray that he owned me and Lulach first.
“There will be fear of retribution. Those who were loyal to Gillacoemgain, who fought against you, will be wondering if they should live in fear. You must calm those worries, assure them they will not be punished for coming to the call of their mormaer,” I said.
“And should they not be punished? Not removed from power? Perhaps executed for treason?” Macbeth asked.
I turned and stared at Macbeth. “If you wish to rule the north with tyranny and fear, do what you like. If you wish to rule them in peace, gather them, speak to them.”
Macbeth smiled brightly—too brightly. “I only jest. I was planning to do as you said. I hoped our marriage might help to smooth things over.”
“If they assume you have taken me by force after murdering their lord, I doubt it.”
“I didn’t murder anyone,” Macbeth retorted sharply. “I’m not like him. He—”
“Gillacoemgain was burned alive. Don’t presume to tell me anything,” I said, setting down my goblet with a thud. I rose.
Seated on my other side, Banquo stood quickly, startled by the sudden noise and movement. “Lady Gruoch, are you all right?”
“Fine,” I said. I realized then that others had noticed the quarrel. I softened my expression. “If you’ll excuse me, my lord, I’ll go check on my son now,” I said, painting on a false smile.
Macbeth rose. “Of… Of course. What a good mother you are, Gruoch. Very well,” he said then smiled for the crowed.
I gave a curt nod to the assembled crowd then turned and left the hall.
Behind me, I heard Banquo and Macbeth talking in low tones.
I didn’t care what was being said.
I didn’t care what anyone thought.
I was halfway up the stairs when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to find Banquo there.
“Cerridwen,” he called lightly.
Annoyed, I stopped.
“May I escort you back to your chambers?”
“Why?”
“Macbeth thought maybe…”
“Macbeth needs to watch his words.”
“This situation is difficult for everyone. Macbeth asked me to—”
“Asked you to what?” I said, feeling my fury rise. Unbidden, the raven peeked out from behind my eyes. “Remember who you are, Son of Cernunnos. You are the servant of no one but the gods. This man is not your master.”
Banquo stopped. “Yes, my lady,” he said, bowing his head.
It was to the raven, not to me, that he offered his deference.
I huffed with frustration at the lot of then, including the Dark Goddess who would not let go, then turned and headed back upstairs and went to my chambers.
“Ah, my lady, I was just about to send for you,” Ute said when I entered. She held a fussy Lulach in her arms. When she looked up at me, I saw her expression change. She looked away.
“Very well. You are excused,” I told her.
“My lady,” she said, handing Lulach to me.
Without another word, Ute turned and left.
I hugged my fussy baby, kissing him on his head, then sat to nurse him. As I did so, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. The dark energy of the raven, the sound of raven wings, beat loudly in my ears. Slowly, with each deep breath, I ruled her. Cerridwen fell away, and after a time, I was just Gruoch once more.
When Lulach finally fell asleep, I laid him in the cradle beside my bed then lay down.
I had to make this situation work even if I didn’t want it. I had to put my feelings, my love, for Gillacoemgain aside and try my best get along with Macbeth. War was war. Gillacoemgain had died a soldier.
I had just drifted off to sleep when there was a soft knock on the outer chamber door.
Reluctantly, I rose.
I opened the door, expecting to find Banquo or Macbeth. Who I saw there puzzled me. On the other side of the door stood a holy man of the White Christ. He was just a wisp of a man, shorter than me with dark, beady eyes. He wore the dark robes of his order.
“My lady, I am Father Lawrence. I minister to your future lord. Lord Macbeth asked me to visit you. He was concerned for your well-being. You have endured much of late, my lady. Perhaps prayer—”
“Father Lawrence, I am my father’s daughter. You will not offer the words of the White Christ to me ever again. Do you understand?” I said hotly.
The little man swallowed hard then nodded. “We are all God’s children, my lady. If you ever change your mind, I am at your service,” he said then bowed and walked away.
Well, at least he had more sense than Macbeth to stop talking while he was ahead.
I closed and locked the door behind him.
I went back to my bedchamber, but stilled when I saw a figure standing over Lulach’s cradle. Her braided red hair trailed down her back. The Morrigu.
“Priests,” she said with a disgusted snort. “Another problem you must contend with in the future,” she said then reached out and gently touched Lulach’s cheek. “He is healthy and strong.”
“Lady.”
She turned and looked at me, “My willful one.”
“Lady, how fares Crearwy?”
“Seek the answers for yourself. We have given you that ability.”
“You forget what it means to be flesh and blood. I am exhausted.”
The Morrigu turned from Lulach and crossed the room. She took hold of my wrists, and looked me deep in the eyes. Her own eyes were so black it was like looking into a starless sky. “Your child is well.”
“Thank you.”
She looked at my arms. “You have been a mage, and now you are a mother. In the days to come, you must become the warrior once more. Train. Train your body. Remember what Boudicca knew,” she said then stepped back into the shadows. “And get your mind clear. You must concern yourself with more than which man’s bed you lie in. A new day is coming, and you must be ready.”
“Have you no heart? Look where your meddling has gotten me.”
The Morrigu laughed. “Heart? My girl, what’s fair is foul and foul is fair,” she said then disappeared into the aether.
I scanned the room. My trunk was sitting at the foot of my bed. I opened it, tossing the gowns aside, then pulled out Uald’s Gift. It had been a long time since I’d trained with Ute. I was out of practice. The Morrigu’s words were ominous. Macbeth had just subdued the north. If so, then why was she warning of war? What did the Morrigu know that I did not? But she was right, my body was weak. I still had pain from childbirth, and I had not trained at all since my days in the coven. I needed to train with a man in order to fight men. Once I had recovered a little from childbirth and the rough flight north, I’d start. I would confuse and worry them all, but a man worships a warrior woman because he does not know what else to do with her. Either that or Macbeth’s priest would try to exorcise demons out of me. One way or the other, I would do as the red lady asked.
But not tonight.
I set the sword back in the chest and closed the lid.
I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. Not tonight. A moment later, I was lost to sleep.
Chapter 10
I woke the next morning to the sound of happy laughter and the smell of something sweet. When I opened my eyes, I found Macbeth sitting in the chair beside the small hearth in my bedchamber holding Lulach. He was widening his eyes then leaning forward to kiss Lulach on the forehead. Thora sat beside them, eyeing Macbeth skeptically. In a pan near the fire was a large honey oak cake.