I should have run away with Banquo.
When we got to the door of the longhouse, Macbeth set a soft but clumsy kiss on my lips. “I need to go back. Will you be all right on your own?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I had word amongst the dispatches that Malcolm has taken a bad fever. It’s rumored he may die. Thorfinn and I have much to discuss.”
“A fever? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“You looked so happy about discovering your old friend, I didn’t want to upset you.”
I stared at Macbeth. Was he joking?”
“Goodnight, wife,” he said, kissing me once more. He turned and headed back to the hall.
I stood outside the door and watched him go. What in the world? Sighing, I turned from the house and walked to the cliff overlooking the sea. The view of the water brought Ynes Verleath to mind. One day, I would return. I felt sure of it. And right now, the idea of escaping to that dark place sounded wonderful.
“My lady,” said a voice.
I turned to see Anor, Thorfinn’s skald, walking toward me. I had seen the man around the hall since that first day but had never spoken to him again. Part of me hoped that if I avoided him that he would forget he’d ever seen me during the casting. As I looked into his dark eyes, it was clear to me he had not forgotten.
“Anor,” I said, painting on a smile.
“It’s a beautiful view,” he said, looking out at the harbor. He pulled his dark robes close around him. “But in the winter, when the wind whips off the sea, you’d think your very blood could freeze.”
I laughed lightly. “I believe it.”
“But when the full moon falls on the dark waters, casting her beams against the wave caps, one would almost think they were living in another time, another place, so different and far from here.”
And there it was. “I’m told you are schooled in such matters.”
“I’m told nothing about you, lady, save you are the daughter of a man who would have been king and the widow of a murdered soldier. But you are, of course, aware that I know aught of you.”
“Do you?”
“Long ago, I saw you appear to Lord Banquo. I never forgot your face. I had thought…I had thought you were one of the dark ladies, one of the Wyrds.”
I stared out at the water, debating what would serve me better, lies or truth.
“I am of the old ways, like yourself,” I said simply.
“Then it is good you will be queen alongside such a Christian man.”
“Malcolm is king. And Duncan will follow him. We are the Lord and Lady of the North, no more.”
Anor chuckled. “Lady Macbeth, I am a skald, not a fool. May Odin and Freya guide you to the throne, and may you bend your husband’s ear to your wisdom,” he said then bowed. “My lady,” he added then walked away.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the scene, letting the crisp sea air refresh my wounded spirit, then turned and went inside.
Chapter 20
The next morning, I left before Macbeth woke. It was just after sunup when Thora, Lulach, and I headed out. I had overheard Morag and Ute speak of a waterfall on the cliffs near Thurso. Headed in that direction, I set out, Uald’s Gift and the dagger Scáthach at my side. After an hour’s walk, I finally found the spot. A stream ran across the grassy land then tumbled over the cliff to the sea below. I settled into a spot nearby.
At once, Thora waded into the water, turning over stones with her feet and snapping at fish.
“Don’t let the current catch you. I’ll be picking up your bones at the bottom of the cliff,” I told her.
She lifted her head, cocked it sideways to look at me as if she were saying she knew better, then went back to work hunting the perfect rock.
I lifted Lulach, bouncing him up and down. He giggled. “When are you going to start talking, my big boy? Look how strong you are! Look at those legs. I wish your father could see you,” I said, kissing Lulach’s cheek.
The boy giggled, his cheek dimpling. His smile was so much like Gillacoemgain’s, but that was impossible. I only saw what I wanted to be there.
“I spot a troll and her ilk atop a hill,” a voice called from behind me.
I turned around to find Sid standing there. Not just in spirit form either. She was really there.
I gasped then rose. “Sid?”
“How fare you, sister?”
I rushed to her, pulling her into my arms, Lulach laughing as he was squished between us. “Sid! Blessed, Sid. What are you doing here? How?”
“Oh, the fey are full of tricks today. Look there,” she said, pointing back upstream where the forest grew thick. “I was headed one place then popped out in that glen. I followed the stream hoping it would lead somewhere when I saw a woman sitting by the water. And look who I found.”
“The fey brought you here. Why? Is anything the matter? Come sit. Eat. I have bread and cheese.”
“Where am I, anyway?”
“Thurso.”
“No wonder it’s so cold.”
“And Nadia?”
“There.” Sid pointed to Thora, who was watching what appeared to be a glimmer of light circling all around her.
Taking her by the hand, I led Sid to the spot where Lulach and I had been lounging. I eyed her over. I could not believe she was really there. She was really there. But she was also terribly thin and as disheveled as ever. I handed her my water pouch while I put some bread and cheese into a bundle which I also gave to her.
She drank and ate hungrily, eating so quickly she became a crumbly mess. She turned to Lulach, her arms outstretched.
“Now, let me see the little lad. Well, wee one, how are you? What do you think of this world?”
Lulach blew bubbles and reached out for Sid’s hair.
She laughed. “He and his sister are just alike. She’s still feisty though.”
“Is May having trouble with her?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat quicken.
“Oh, no. Crearwy just seems like she’s mad at the world,” Sid said with a laugh. “I’ve never seen a baby scowl so much,” Sid said, scrunching up her face.
“Oh,” I said sadly.
“Not like that, raven beak. She’s happy, I promise you. She’s just got a sour disposition, like her mother. She’s doted on. Epona hardly lets her out of her sight. We love your little lass. She caught a cold a bit back, and Druanne worked night and day looking after her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Druanne be so nice before. It was remarkable, considering how much she hates you.”
I chuckled.
“And how are you? Epona said that hulking beast you were married to was murdered and that you married his killer.”
I frowned at Sid. “It was war.”
“Oh? Indeed. And?”
“And, I am sorry to have lost Gillacoemgain.”
“He was pretty. And this Macbeth? Is he just as pretty?”
“Pretty is not the word I would use. His looks are fetching, but his manner is…troublesome.”
At that, Sid turned serious. “I don’t like that word, troublesome.”
“Nor do I. But there is some bright light. Banquo is here.”
Sid took a huge bite of bread. “No wonder this Macbeth is troublesome. He’s in the way,” she said between chews.
“Banquo is married. His wife is here as well. She’s one of us.”
“Why don’t you just grab that druid of yours, bring your wee one, and come home?” Sid suggested.