‘I remember when the war started in nineteen fourteen,’ Joe said. ‘Nobody thought of using planes to fight; they were so frail, just bits of wood and canvas. But then someone mounted a machine gun and that was that. Next thing, we had a Royal Air Force. I’d have loved to fly, but blokes like me just got stuck in the trenches.’
They became more absorbed in their conversation, while Dee’s eyes met her mother’s across the table in a silent message. Men!
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ Mark said at last. ‘They’ve put my name down for a new course. I’m the first in my group to be assigned to it-’
‘Good for you,’ Joe said. ‘They know you’re the best. But it means you’ll spend more time there and less here, doesn’t it?’
‘I’m afraid so. They reckon the war will be declared pretty soon, so then I’ll be in the Air Force full-time. Perhaps you should start looking for another mechanic.’
Dee heard all this from a distance. It was coming, the thing she dreaded, the moment when he would walk away to the war and she might never see him again. Time was rushing by.
She had grown cautious, sensing a slight change in Mark’s manner. Since the night she’d come alive in his arms, she’d sometimes caught him giving her a curious look. She was shocked at herself, wondering if her forward behaviour had damaged his respect for her.
When they were alone, his kisses were fervent, even passionate, as though he was discovering something new about her all the time. But then he would draw back as though he’d thought better of it, leaving her in a state of confusion. With all her heart she longed to take him past that invisible barrier, and she hadn’t much time left to make it happen.
After supper the three of them listened to the wireless. The official news from Europe was worrying, but what had really caught people’s attention was the fact that when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth went on a visit to Canada, they were escorted by two warships.
‘And there’s a rumour that those ships carried thirty million pounds in gold, for safe-keeping in Canada until it’s all over,’ Mark had said.
Until it was all over. What would life be like then? Another universe in which he might, or might not be alive. She shivered.
She tried to speak normally, but it was hard when everything in her was focused on one thing-to be alone with Mark, in his arms, kissing him and being kissed, feeling her body burn with new life. Her heart was breaking, yet she must try to pretend all was well.
At last he rose. ‘I think I’ll take a breath of fresh air,’ he said casually.
Eagerly, she joined him and they slipped out into the privacy of the garden. The next moment she was in his arms.
‘Why must you go now?’ she begged. ‘It’s too soon.’
‘I have to. But I’m going to miss you so much,’ he said hoarsely.
‘Yes…yes…’
The thought of the lonely time without him lent urgency to her movements. In the past she’d fought down the blazing desire that almost overcame her when she was in his arms, but tonight she didn’t want to be controlled and virtuous. She wanted to let herself go and risk whatever the future held. If that meant being a ‘bad girl’, then so be it, as long as she could say that just once he’d been hers.
He lifted his head and his eyes and his breathing told her that he was in the same state. Another moment and they would become each other’s and who cared for anything else?
‘Mark,’ she whispered, ‘Mark-’
‘Do you want me?’
‘Yes-’
Urgently, he drew her down onto the grass and she gave herself up to the feel of his lips on her neck, drifting lower as he opened the buttons of her blouse. High above, the spring moon beamed down on her like a blessing, and she prepared herself for what would surely be the most beautiful experience of her life.
Transported, she didn’t hear the door opening behind them, only her mother’s voice coming out of nowhere in an outraged cry of, ‘You can stop that!’
She felt Mark freeze on top of her, heard his muttered curse. Then he drew away, helping her to her feet.
‘Mum,’ she said desperately, ‘it’s not-’
‘Don’t you try to fool me, my girl. I know what it’s not, and I know what it is. It’s shameful, that’s what it is. I thought you were a good girl, with more self-respect.’
‘Come on, Helen,’ her husband begged under his voice. ‘After all, didn’t we-?’
‘You hush.’ She turned on him furiously.
‘Yes, dear.’
‘You-’ she turned on Mark ‘-you should be ashamed of yourself, acting like that in a decent home. Just what do you think my daughter is?’
‘Well, I was hoping she’d become my wife,’ Mark replied.
Slowly, Dee turned her head towards him as the world exploded about her, full of blazing light and riotous colours. It had happened. He’d proposed. She would be his wife. Every dream had come true. Passionate joy held her speechless.
Helen, too, was briefly dumb, but she was the first to recover. ‘That puts a different face on it,’ she said, cautious and not entirely yielding. ‘If you mean it.’
‘I was going to ask Dee tonight, only you interrupted me.’
Joe began to edge his wife away. ‘Goodnight, you two,’ he said with a touch of desperation as he managed to get Helen inside.
Dee’s head was clearing and her sensible side reasserting itself, as it had a terrible habit of doing. She’d be a fool to believe this.
‘It’s all right, Mark,’ she said in a low voice. ‘You don’t have to marry me.’
He regarded her, his head on one side. ‘Maybe I want to. Have you thought of that?’
‘You don’t want to. You just had to divert my mother. I understand.’
‘Now you’ve insulted me,’ he said cheerfully.
‘Have I?’
‘There I am, learning to take to the skies and fight Hitler, and you think I’m afraid of your mother. She’s formidable, I grant you, but I’m not scared of her.’
She gave a shaky laugh. ‘I didn’t mean that, but you know as well as I do that you weren’t going to propose if we hadn’t got caught.’
‘Well, perhaps she did us a favour by showing us the way. Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?’
‘It’s not that, it’s just-’
He put his hands on her shoulders and spoke lightly. ‘My darling, will you give a straight answer to a straight question? Are you turning me down?’
‘No, of course not, I-’
‘Then are you accepting me?’
She looked up into his face, trying to read the truth behind his quizzical expression. She saw humour and good nature, but not the answer she needed.
‘Yes or no?’ he persisted.
‘Yes,’ she said with a kind of desperation. It wasn’t the proposal she’d dreamed of, and in her heart she knew something about it wasn’t right, but there was no way she could turn down the chance to make him hers.
‘Does that mean we’re engaged?’
‘Yes,’ she choked. ‘Oh, yes!’
This time their kiss was relatively restrained, since both knew that Helen was watching them from the kitchen window. As they returned slowly to the house, she was waiting for them. Joe produced drinks to celebrate, then Helen declared that it was late and Mark would be wanting to get home. She wore a fixed smile but both her expression and her tone said, No hanky-panky in this house.
Mark gave Dee a rueful smile and departed under the steely gaze of his future mother-in-law.
‘Congratulations, love,’ Joe said, embracing his daughter.
‘Yes, you got him to the finishing post,’ Helen agreed, although she couldn’t resist adding, ‘with a bit of help.’