‘Mum!’
‘He’d have taken his time proposing if I hadn’t prodded him on. Never mind. We managed it. We should be proud of ourselves.’
‘But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen,’ Dee protested.
‘The important thing is, it happened. You wouldn’t want him going off to the Air Force without having his ring on your finger. He wasn’t going to propose, just fool around with you and then on to the next. Look what he did to Sylvia.’
‘Look what she did to him,’ Dee said quickly.
‘Does she still write to you, love?’ Joe asked gently. She had told them about the first letter and read out some, but not all of its contents.
‘Now and then. Doesn’t she ever write to you?’
‘She’s tried,’ Helen said. ‘I tear them up.’
‘Before I even see them,’ Joe said sadly. ‘We don’t even know where she is.’
‘She hasn’t told me her address,’ Dee said. ‘But she’s living with Phil and in her last letter she said she’d just discovered that she was pregnant.’
Helen stiffened. ‘So as well as being a whore, she’s going to have a little bastard. I want nothing to do with her. Anyway, at least we’ll have one respectable marriage in this family. Get him tied to you while you can, my girl. I’ve done my best for you. Now it’s up to you.’
If she’d thought to encourage Dee into marriage by this means, she was mistaken. Whatever Mark said, she couldn’t rid herself of the shamed feeling that he’d simply taken the line of least resistance. One part of her mind urged her to rush the ceremony before he could back off, but the other part refused to do it.
These days the world seemed to be thrown into sharp relief, and everything had a sense of ‘one last time before the war’. Any party or celebration, every anniversary, any piece of good fortune, must be enjoyed to the full. Just in case.
‘There’s a fair on Hampstead Heath,’ Mark told her one evening. ‘Let’s go. We never know when there’ll be another one.’
The Heath was a magical place, a great green park barely four miles from the centre of London. It had always been a popular venue for fairs, and especially now as the dark days approached.
As they neared the fair, they could hear the unmistakable sound of the hurdy-gurdy blaring over the distance. From far off, the giant wheel glittered as it turned against the night.
‘I’ve always wanted to go up on one of those,’ she breathed.
‘We will, I promise.’
Close up, the wheel was even more dazzling.
‘Ever been on one?’ Mark asked.
‘No. I’ve often wanted to, but I was always at the fair with my parents and Mum said, “You don’t want to go on those dangerous things”. And I didn’t know how to tell her that I did want to because they were dangerous.’
‘Right,’ he said. ‘Come on.’ He bought the tickets and took her hand firmly. ‘Those seats rock back and forth like mad, so hold onto me.’
From the moment they sat down and she felt the seat swinging beneath her, Dee felt as though she’d come home. Nothing in her life had ever been as exciting as when she was lifted high into the air, over the top of the wheel, then the descent when, for a moment, there seemed to be nothing but air between herself and the earth beneath. Then again, and again, loving it more every moment.
‘Wheeeee!’ she shrieked as they arrived back at the bottom for the final time. ‘I want to go again.’
He took her up three times, finally saying, ‘Leave it for now. There are other rides, just as exciting.’
‘Lead me to them!’
Her eyes were gleaming as they approached the roller coaster, and she looked up the climb with an eagerness that anticipated the pleasure to come. She could just see a car reaching the summit and hear the shrieks as it sped down.
‘Come on!’ she begged.
He looked at her curiously. ‘Aren’t you afraid?’
‘What of?’ she asked blankly.
‘You’ll find out,’ he said, grinning.
When they were seated he made as if to put an arm around her. ‘But perhaps you’re too brave to need my help?’ he teased.
‘I don’t think I’m quite as brave as that,’ she conceded, pulling his arm about her shoulders.
The cars moved off, slowly at first, climbing the long slope to the summit, then plunging down at ever increasing speed while she screamed with pleasure and huddled closer to him.
After two more rides he insisted that they get out, at least for a while.
‘You may not need a rest, but I do,’ he gasped. ‘Where’s the beer tent?’
In the tent, they sat down and sipped light ale. Every nerve throughout her body was singing with excitement, but the greatest pleasure was the look Mark was giving her, as though seeing her for the first time and admiring what he saw.
‘I never guessed you enjoyed that kind of thing,’ he said.
‘Neither did I. If I’d known, I’d have done it sooner.’
‘Most girls don’t care for it,’ he said, speaking more quietly than was usual with him.
And suddenly Sylvia was there with them, gasping and clinging to them in horror after her ride in the sidecar, vowing never again.
‘I’m not most girls,’ Dee said brightly. ‘I’m mad. Hadn’t you heard?’
‘If I hadn’t, I know now.’
She drained her glass and held it out. ‘Can I have another one?’
‘No,’ he said in alarm. ‘Your mother would kill me. She already disapproves of me, even though we’re engaged.’
Dee nodded. Helen wanted them married for the sake of respectability, but only that morning she’d said, ‘I know he can talk the hind legs off a donkey and he’s got a cheeky smile, but you mark my words. He’s a bad boy!’
Which was true, Dee thought. Mark’s ‘bad boy’ aspect was seldom on display, but it was always there, just below the surface. It lived in uneasy partnership with his generous side and it made him thrilling. But she wouldn’t have dared to tell her mother that. She didn’t fully understand it herself. She only knew that he lived in her heart as the most exciting man in the world and she wouldn’t have him any different.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WHEN they came to the dodgems she insisted on their taking a car each so that they could bash each other. Once behind the wheel, she laid into him with a will. But he gave as good as he got and when they joined up again afterwards they agreed that honours were even.
But in one thing he beat her hollow-on the rifle range his aim was perfect. He scored bullseyes with ease and was offered his pick of the prizes on display. He chose a small fluffy teddy bear and solemnly presented it to her.
She fell in love with it at once. The face was slightly lopsided, giving it an air of cheeky humour that she instantly recognised.
‘He’s you,’ she said.
‘Me?’ he asked, startled.
‘Well, he’s rather better-looking than you, of course,’ she said, considering. ‘But that cocky air is exactly you. My bruin.’
‘Bruin?’
‘It’s an old word for bear. This isn’t just an ordinary bear. He’s my bear. He’s a real bruin.’ She dropped a kiss on the furry little fellow’s snout.
‘I’m jealous,’ Mark said.
‘How can you be jealous of yourself?’ she demanded, tucking the toy safely into her bag.
‘I’ll think about that.’
He bought two ice creams and they wandered through the fair, hand in hand. Dee thought she’d never known such a happy evening.
‘Will you take me on the roller coaster again?’ she asked.
‘Am I allowed to say no?’
‘Not a chance.’
Suddenly a yell came out of the darkness.
‘Look at that!’ someone breathed, pointing upward, horrified and admiring at the same time.
High above them stretched what looked like a hollow pole made of metal latticework. A string of lights went up the middle, gleaming against the metal strips and illuminating the man who was climbing to the top.