‘Tell me,’ she said.
‘It’s nothing-nothing-as long as you’re all right.’
‘Yes, I’m all right,’ she assured him seriously. ‘I’m more than all right.’
‘You weren’t just-being a good nurse?’
‘Oh, Mark, stop it! You’re talking nonsense. As though I would.’
He managed a pale smile. ‘I don’t know. You take such good care of me, better than anyone else has ever done, ever, in all my life.’ He said the last words with an air of wondrous discovery.
‘Just the same, there are lengths even a good nurse won’t go,’ she assured him. Her physical sensations had come swiftly down to earth, but her emotions were still up there, dazed with the joy of being in his arms, feeling at one with him.
Perhaps he felt the same for he suddenly grinned. There was happiness in his smile, but also relief.
Suddenly, Dee chuckled. ‘You’ll have to marry me now,’ she teased.
At once his smile faded and he shook his head. ‘Oh, no, I can’t do that. I couldn’t do you such harm.’
‘Harm?’
‘Look, I understand that you were only joking, but we both know that I’d be a useless husband. Bottom of the class. The last resort. I only have a job now because of your father’s charity, and you’d have to nurse me for ever. I’d be a burden on you, and I can’t do that. Just don’t make jokes like that any more. All right?’
‘All right,’ she said with a little sigh that he didn’t hear. ‘Now, perhaps I’d better go back to my room. The patient has had too much excitement for one night.’
She scrambled back into her pyjamas and was gone without giving him the chance to say anything. After that, there was nothing to do but dive into her bed, hide as far as possible under the covers and curse her own clumsiness.
Why on earth did you have to say that about getting married? What happened to your common sense?
At last she pushed the clothes aside and sat up, eyes blazing into the darkness as she came to a decision.
This was no time for common sense! She had loved him hopelessly for five years, and it was now or never. And if it meant being a ‘bad girl’, so what? Hadn’t her own mother shown the way?
In the corridor outside, Joe stood tentatively glancing back and forth between the doors of Mark’s bedroom and Dee’s, both of which he’d heard open and close. He hesitated, as though uncertain what a good father would do at this point. When it finally became clear to him, he crept back into his own room and quietly closed the door.
Dee was late home the next evening, to find Mark at the bus stop.
‘Have you been there long?’ she asked. ‘You shouldn’t. It’s bad for you to stand about.’
‘Joe and I were concerned, even after you called to say you had extra duty. He’s got the kettle on.’
‘Mmm,’ she said blissfully, taking the arm he offered. ‘How lovely to be pampered!’
‘You can’t always be the one doing the looking after,’ he observed.
‘I’m not complaining,’ she assured him.
At home, she ate the egg Joe had boiled for her while they all discussed their day. Then they listened to the radio together. In some ways the news was heartening. The Allies had gone on to the attack, taking the airborne fight to the enemy and beginning to land forces in the occupied countries. But this carried a terrible cost.
‘How many aircraft have they lost?’ Joe murmured sympathetically.
‘Over a thousand,’ Dee sighed.
Mark cocked an eyebrow at her. ‘Did Mr Royce tell you that?’
‘I hear things from the patients.’
‘Ah, yes, of course.’ Mark said no more but his mood became a little glum.
Soon after that, she went to bed and lay listening. She heard the two men climbing the stairs, saying goodnight, going their different ways. After a while she heard Joe cross the landing to the bathroom, then the clank of pipes as he turned on the taps for a quick wash and finally the return to his room. A few minutes later the sounds were repeated with Mark.
Timing was everything. She waited until he’d left the bathroom and was just passing her door before going, ‘Ow!’
‘Dee?’ His voice came through the door.
‘Ooh!’ she moaned.
‘I’m coming in,’ he said, opening the door.
She was sitting on the bed, clutching an ankle which rested on her knee. ‘I twisted it,’ she said feebly.
‘How?’
‘I couldn’t say,’ she told him truthfully. ‘Rub it for me,’ she said weakly. ‘That’s it! Ah, that’s lovely.’
Something in her voice made Mark look at her more closely and see what she’d always meant him to see, that her jacket was open again and her nakedness was a blazing reminder of what they had briefly shared.
‘Dee-’
But it was too late. She let herself fall back on the bed so that the edges of material fell apart, exposing all the beauty he’d been trying not to think of since the night before.
‘Stop wasting time,’ she said, laughing up at him.
Nothing could have stopped him then. When her arms opened in welcome, he went into them like a man coming home, seeking something outside all his previous experience, something he could never have described in words, but which only she could give.
This time she had some idea what to expect and was ready for him, or thought she was. But he still surprised her, taking her to new heights while he looked into her eyes in a way that was new and wonderful, and which made her heart soar.
Afterwards, he didn’t draw away so quickly but lingered as though more certain of his welcome.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.
Dee had been wondering how she’d lived so many years without discovering this particular pleasure, but she judged it not the right moment to say so.
‘I’ve been thinking how nice it is to have my Mad Bruin back,’ she said. ‘Just as mad as ever.’
‘Madder,’ he assured her. ‘Much madder.’
She opened the drawer by the bed and took out the toy.
‘You hear that?’ she asked sternly. ‘You’re much madder. He says so, and he ought to know.’ She held the little bear to her ear, then said to Mark, ‘He wants to know what happened to his friend.’
‘I’m afraid I don’t know. Things got very confused.’
‘Of course,’ she said quickly. ‘And I suppose you could hardly keep her at the base in case anyone saw her.’
‘Right.’
Dee sensed Mark had become suddenly uneasy and made haste to yawn significantly.
‘You’re tired, I’ll go,’ he said and hurried away, pausing only long enough to drop a quick peck on her cheek.
When he’d gone, she gave herself a lecture about how foolish it would be to be disappointed. She was no romantic girl, but a warrior converging on her prey. Tonight had gone well. He’d come to her bed and done exactly as she wished. What more was there to want?
A good deal, she thought, but it’ll have to wait. Patience is the quality of great commanders, and I’m going to be the greatest of them all.
That thought made her feel so optimistic that she fell asleep at once.
One night she came home to find the house quiet. Mark was in the back room, kneeling on the floor, holding Billy in his arms.
‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ he said, his voice cracking in relief. ‘Billy’s going. The vet came this afternoon and he wanted to put him to sleep, but Joe and I said not until you came home.’
One look told Dee that she’d arrived just in time. Billy was lying patiently, eyes half open, but alert when she appeared, as though he, too, had been waiting for her. Mark handed him gently to her and retreated a little way, staying just close enough to keep a hand on Billy’s fur.
‘Goodbye, darling,’ she choked, holding his head and looking into the old eyes as they faded. ‘Thank you for everything. I love you so much-I’ll always love you.’