“Oh, my precious girl, of course he does. And how could he not? When you’re not caterwauling, you’re very attractive.”
“But he doesn’t. He told me so the night of the hen party.”
Mags smiled and rubbed Allie’s shoulder. “He told you specifically he didn’t love you?”
“Those exact words.”
She cupped Allie’s cheek. “It will all be well. I promise.”
Allie swallowed back a denial. Mags would only argue with her. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to lie down for a while.”
***
Five days later, Allie was still in bed. Brynn tried to tempt her into getting up but had no success. Brian came in every morning to check on her, but by the third day, he sounded worried.
“Al, you can’t stay in bed all day. You didn’t even do this when your mom died. Come on, sweetheart. I’ll make you some breakfast.”
Allie’s response was to roll over and face the wall until he left. She didn’t want to get out of bed ever again. What was the point? Life sucked, no two ways about it. She had kept her spirits up, chugged along, took care of everyone. And look what happened—one sister gone, one suspended for fighting. For five long years Allie had struggled to hold her family together and take care of her mother. Well, her mom was gone and Allie had failed miserably. Losing Trevor, having her declaration of love thrown back in her face—that was the final straw. What was the point of it all?
Time had no meaning. The days bled one into another. Brynn made sure she had a glass of water next to the bed and brought in sandwiches, which Allie didn’t eat.
On day five she was awakened by someone shaking her arm so hard she dreamed she was in an earthquake. When she pried open her eyes, she found Frances and Mags peering at her with furrowed brows and thinned lips. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“You smell, Miss Allie.”
“The whole room reeks, darling. Brynn called and said you hadn’t been out of bed since I left.”
Mags’s black-and-white-striped retro dress had Allie crossing her eyes, so she closed them. “Please go away.”
“You need to get up.” Frances jerked the covers back.
Allie felt like a vampire exposed to sunlight. With a scowl, she pulled the covers out of Frances’s hand and covered herself back up. “Go away. I don’t want to see you and I don’t want to get out of bed.”
“Oh, darling, he’s just as bad, you know.” The mattress dipped as Mags sank down next to Allie and rubbed her arm. “I’ve never seen him so depressed. Come back with me. And you really are quite ripe, dearest.”
Allie opened one eye and glared at them both. “I’m not going back. And if you don’t like how I smell, get the hell out.”
“Please, Al.” Brynn hovered by the door. “You’re scaring me.” She twisted her hands together and stood on her toes.
Groaning, Allie covered her face with both hands. She might be a complete loser, but her sister still needed her—although she wasn’t much use to anyone.
Allie sat up and tried to smile. “I didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart. I’m just sad.”
Brynn nodded. “I know.”
“All right then, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll run a shower.” Frances bustled out of the room.
Mags stood. “I think we’ll need to burn these sheets and your bedclothes, Allison. I’m not sure the smell will ever come out.”
Allie sighed. Time to get back to her life. Her very sucky life.
She stood and was a bit lightheaded, so she grabbed hold of Mags’s arm until the dizziness passed. She patted Brynn’s face as she walked by. “Make me some coffee, would you, sweetie? Really strong coffee.”
Frances stood next to the bathroom door, where steam flowed out in gusts. “Thanks, Frances.”
Allie peeled off her smelly clothes and opened the door to the old fiberglass shower. The hot spray pelting her sensitive skin was almost painful. With heavy arms, she scrubbed herself and washed her hair. It was too much effort to condition it, and really, her split ends could just bite it.
It took every bit of energy she had to dry herself and step into the jeans, bra, and T-shirt that Frances had laid on the countertop. She reached up and swiped the foggy mirror, glancing at herself for the first time in days. She winced at her reflection. No wonder Brynn had been scared. Her cheeks were hollow and she sported huge purple circles under her eyes.
She twisted her hair up, secured it with a clip, and brushed her teeth. That was all she was going to do, but still she lingered in the damp, steamy room. She didn’t want to face Mags and Frances and especially Brynn. All she really wanted to do was curl up in bed and shut out the rest of the world.
Finally, she took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. All three ladies stood in the hallway, Brynn with a mug in her hands. The prison guards eyed her as if she might make a run for it.
Allie looked at them in turn. “I’m not going back to bed.” She took the coffee and gave Brynn a little smile. “Thanks.” She blew at the surface and took a sip.
Allie walked to the living room and sat down. She leaned her head back and was almost swept away by a tide of sadness so overwhelming she put a hand over her eyes to block out everything else.
“Al?”
She cleared her throat. “Just give me a minute, Brynn.”
“Let’s go make her something to eat, shall we?” Frances asked. “What do you think will tempt her?”
Allie removed her hand and watched Frances lead Brynn to the kitchen. She glanced at Mags and almost lost her composure at the sympathy in the older woman’s eyes.
“My darling Allison—”
“How’s Nigel? Have the two of you kissed and made up?”
“We’re working on it. I do love that man to distraction, even though sometimes I want to take a croquet mallet to his skull.”
Allie nodded and sipped her coffee.
“He’s been miserable since you left.” Mags tilted her head to the side.
“Nigel? Well, tell him to go golfing. That seems to cheer him up.”
“Allie, please.”
“I’m not going to talk about him. I can’t.” Tears clogged her throat. God, she was so stupid, falling in love with Trevor Blake, the man who never cared about anyone.
They sat in silence for some minutes. Allie took comfort in it. She sipped on her coffee and felt more alert than she had in days.
Soon, Frances walked into the room, bearing a tray and a big smile. Brynn trailed after her, a look of worry still etched on her face.
“French toast. Brynn said it’s your favorite.” She set the tray of the coffee table.
Allie lowered herself to the floor, and for the first time in days, her stomach grumbled. “Thank you, Frances.” Then she glanced around the room. “Does anyone want some?”
“You go ahead, darling.”
Allie tucked into her meal, but after a few bites, she dropped her fork. “I can’t taste it,” she said with a frown.
“What do you mean, Al? Are you getting a cold or something?” Brynn sat next to Mags on the saggy sofa.
“It’s the grief, Miss Allie.”
“Grief?”
“For Mr. Blake.”
She couldn’t bear to hear his name. Allie pushed the plate away. “Brynn, are you getting your homework done? Did you get all your assignments from you teachers?” She didn’t want to talk about Trevor. It was too painful.
Brynn rolled her eyes. “Yes, Al. But I’m missing two tests and can’t make them up, so I have to take a zero.”
“How’s that going to affect your GPA?”
“I think I’ll be all right.” Brynn stared at her nails and Allie could tell she had something else to say.
“What is it? What don’t you want to tell me?”
“Ms. Castor…Karen…broke up with Dad. He’s been really bummed about it.” She nibbled at her thumbnail.
“Brynn…”
She flung her hand down. “I just feel like it’s my fault, okay? If I hadn’t gotten in a fight, she wouldn’t have done it. And now he’s all sad, and you’re all sad, and Monica’s left Brad…” She covered her mouth with one hand.